Rental Unit
I am a rental unit.
No one stays with a rental unit
for long, and
while someone is with me,they don't take
Very Good Care of me.
Why should they? Everyone knows from the start that
I'm not a Keeper.
People are only with me til they can
Move On, or
Do Better.
There are always plenty of reasons for
Leaving me.
(....i'm too old and run down; i'm too ugly and shabby. But I
could shine. with a bit of care and attention, oh yes, i'd be
a Keeper for sure!)
When someone IS with me,
they trash and abuse me.
I'm used for awhile, and someone might even
Act like they care about me.
For a time i will have flowers and curtains,
and my soul will soar with hope that
Maybe this time...
Maybe this person...
But maybe always becomes never.
I am never loved.
I am a rental unit.
I long to be a Home,
A Real Home,
For someone who wants to stay with me,
and who will do more then bring me the occasional flowers;
someone who wants to
Plant me a Garden
that will endure the years,because that someone will be there with me
Tending my garden and caring for my needs
as i give them shelter, which is
All that i have to offer...
Maybe sometime
Maybe some person
will own
(LOVE)
me in their heart.
But no.
Maybe is a euphamism for never.
I am never loved.
I am a rental unit.
Author notes
this poem has nothing to do with houses. it has everything to do with the difference between being loved and being used. this poem is based on personal observation, not on personal experiance. please read and review.
Written September 10th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Helo
Man Oh man I guess you would be thinking when is this little aussi vegemite Gonna read this one Uh. Lets put some things into perspective here the style of writing is per normal that is just brilliant and I think that I am not alone by saying that you are so different sweet Love. Different in by making a statement and speaking from the heart and writing it with honest feelings..
Now lets look at the content Ok. You my darling are not shabby nor are you ugly what else did you have to say about your self. After me you are beautiful with flowers coming from you hair. I will be there soon and guess what anybody want to say you are a unit will have to deal with me. And I am whaling the wrecker. When I arrive I am bring with me such huge foundations, why do you think it’s taking so long. I am bringing you sweet love so much love that you will be smothered. So lets make a deal let me prove to you that you are indeed a kind wonderful woman with three fantastic Kids that loves yah to bits and God the creator of all, the unit’s fabulous wife and mom. Then we can re write this story that You are the best keeper ever. OK Love you YOUR STEVE
I just read your open comments it is nothing personnel, so sorry I love you to much
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this was awesome!!!
i hope your new man is a keeper.
god bless u
candice -
I like the metaphor theme you used here, it makes an impact, and this is well done,
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I know how this feels. I really do. It's not fun at all. I liked your metaphors in this piece. I would have not thought to compare myself to a rental. Although now reading it I can see how well the comparision works.
~*destiny*~
Thanks for your comment on "Lion" -
wonderful, honest
this is very personal and that's why i love it. it shows how many parts there are to you, form writing with your son to writing with your heart. thanks for sharing. -
Very deep. The desire for permanence to stabilize the chaotic fluctuations of want. A majestic metaphor you have written. Well done.
Be blessed.
Mouser -
Good Job
This is very revealing. I can relate on some level to this. Maybe more can too. This is unfortunate. Reminds me a little of my poem entitled "Stait-Jacket." Good job. Peace. -
This is a very good write that you had penned here your rhythm flowed beautifully
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Oh I love this poem. I've been a rental unit myself from time to time. I especially love the lines "Plant me a garden that will endure the years..." and "as I give them shelter which is all I have to offer." I can feel hope mixed with despair of finding someone to love. Nice poem. Charlynn
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I am never loved.
I am a rental unit.
I long to be a Home,
A Real Home,
For someone who wants to stay with me,
and who will do more then bring me the occasional flowers;
so tearful words here..great write touching the depth of a heart here
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Really neat poem.Enjoyed reading it.
Snappy
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That comparison is easy to understand in these lines - it's tough being used and abused, hard to go through time and time again.
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Very, very clever! A really fresh take on the subject matter, excellent use of metaphor, analogy, and nuance. Excellently penned, really, quite clever.
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Excellent
Mom, this is amazing! I loved reading this. I can not say that I can relate, but I can tell you this, that as long as I am here, you will never have to feel like this. Me, d, and t, all love you. Don't let anyone bring you down!
Excellent poem, btw. I always love your freeverses, they make a person really think. Excellent, once again. Kudos to you!
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I thought this was a good metaphor. It is unique.
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Deep
wow this was very very deep...and clever. You spoke in ways I've not thought about before. Thanks for sharing this with us.
Kari
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