IF I found,
a great fat spider,
Sneaking in my bed,
I would get
a great big hammer,
And hit it on the head,
And IF a mouse
came in my house,
And invited
its friends for tea,
I would poison
all the cheese,
then laugh quite cheerfully,
IF some slugs
were on my rugs,
And snails
were watching telly,
I would squash them
with my foot,
Inside a great big wellie,
And IF I found
a cheeky frog,
Trying to eat my stew
I would smack
it's little bum,
then flush it
down the loo,
Or, IF a bat
ate my hat,
And peed upon my floor,
I would pull
its wings off
And throw it
out the door,
But..... if a 'MOTH'
flew by my eye,
Or on my table cloths,
I'd scream
my bloomin' head off,
....cos I'm scared to death of moths!
Author notes
I wouldn't really do any of those cruel things to any animal. I only wrote that for the poem... But I definitly would scream at the moth.
In a list
A contest entry
- Anything you like!!!!!! by Cat -lover08.
300 points, ended February 9, 2007, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything goes!! Lots of options!!!!! by lilblueeyesmine1978.
425 points, ended September 27, 2007, 50 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - TEN THOUSAND POINTS OF RHYME (Now 20,000+) Part 7 Humour by cricketjeff.
1250 points, ended January 15, 2008, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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SPIDERS! I hate spiders. An amusing poem, thanks for the entry in our contest.
Please join us in future rounds
Sue and Jeff -
Excellent
Wow, this is amazingly funny! Great job.
Obviously, I wouldn't condone any kind of cruelty to animals, but then, snails hijacking your television... that's a different story! LOVED the frog stanza.
I enjoyed this very much, and I was so glad that you gave it the punchline it deserved. Good luck in the contest, rival
David.
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great poem, love the flow and rhymes. Very funny!!
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Great rhythm and rhyme in these lines - fun for all kids and big kids to read. Liked the flow and the funny images this brings to mind. Way to go with a gold and a bronze for this poem.
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This was truly funny! Well done and thanks for entering and good luck!
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My daughter loved this. she had to have some tests ran today so she was not in a very good mood thanks so much for lightening up her day. I am adding this to the finalists list and good luck with the contest.
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This was a funny write!
Good luck in the contest!!! Thanks for entering!
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Brilliant!!!
yet again one brilliant entry laughing my head off right now. Well done indeed an good luck in me contest!!! -
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Glad.
Glad it made you laugh :-)
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I'm keeping it and I'll get back to you. so cute!
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Oh my gosh! I'm not sure about this one but I certainly want to read more. Do you have more?
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Very Good
There's a lot going on int hat head of yours, isn't there? LOL - I love the sheer lunacy of what you write, I have said it to many people - colelction of these - illustrations.
They are perfect for it.
James -
IF a mouse came in my house,
And invited its friends for tea,
I would poison all the cheese,
And laugh quite cheerfully,
Hmmm... *scratching chin* I wondered why there were so many of those little devils together at the same time. It's tea and cheese you say?
Very funny write. A little cruel, but so long as its tounge in cheek, funny.
Sarah -
Thanks very much for your kind comments.
Blank. -
A very enjoyable write.Well written....and I loved the flushing part
The rhyming was great and the flow was superb.Best of luck in the contest 
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brilliant...i always look for spiders and i hate large moths urgh i like the way you fight back and dont let the critters win
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well after killing all those critters you now have the ingredients for a nice chunky broth
spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
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Blank what a wonderful Spike Milligan sort of piece I love it Loved the way you finished it off Great write and a very enjoyable read Thank you Good luck in the contest
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HaHaHa.... I wouldn't really do any animal or insect any harm...LOL.. i wrote it all tongue in cheek!!
Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.
Blank. -
Looool, that's almost a bit umm... mean but I love it!
Good luck in the contest and keep it up!
Annie
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