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Smash the floorboards up.



Blood is boiling
in a black pot of rage-
Sirens scream
I feel i'm going insane.

I'm gonna-
break a coffee cup.

I wanna-
smash the floorboards up.

Inferno burns
flames blaze a trail 'cross the page-
steam valve snaps
fear rips its way through my brain.

I'm gonna-
break an old tea cup.

I wanna-
smash the floorboards up!


Author notes

Option 4. Written September 9th, 2006

A contest entry

What did you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 49 of 49

  • WednesdayJade
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    This was really great to read, the poem flowed beautifully and the emotion was very raw.
    You can feel the anger you have just by imagining someone breaking things and smashing the floorboards up, it's very powerful, I love it
    x x x

  • wow!!! this is great! so much emotion in your words. Your anger is portrayed amazingly. Thank you for entering my contest. this is exactly what i was looking for


  • storiesuntold gold member
    January 7

    Edit | Reply

    Good write here

    Often when we let our feelings rage without venting at times they build and build and often when they are released they are released on one that is not the cause of this fury . Let it out and get problems solved right away for often we wait far too long and in holding this hate within it hanges us to be like the ones we hate


  • aslanlight
    November 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thankyou! You've made me laugh when I was being all serious. Sometimes I want to tread on the head of a worm that's poking it's head up for breakfast in the morning sunshine!!! God forbid!

    Peace Georgia


  • A-Daisy-Among-Roses
    November 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is great. Its simple but it expresses emotion really well in a different way.


  • catalyst.
    September 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the rhyme in this.
    I'm gonna-
    break a coffee cup.

    I wanna-
    smash the floorboards up.

    great job


  • RunningFree
    March 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I Feel It

    As I read this, I can feel the anger rising to take over and come out physically. The emotion just pours out of the words. Thank you for entering my contest and congrats!


  • GypsyEyes
    January 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i believe you have given such great emotion in this piece! i too write a lot about anger and i feel very connected to your poem! congrats on all your trophies! thank you for entering and good luck!
    NineTailedFox


  • LadyDementia gold member
    January 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A powerful piece, great write. Good luck in the contest with it


  • torieshawesum
    October 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is pretty cool, lots of raw anger, i like that, but i think you should put more feeling into it.


  • knock
    October 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is great mr. floor.
    a simple anger, with a direction.
    Knowing just where youre blowing
    Getting to where you should be going.


  • Floorboards
    October 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Aw, sorry. A Paul Weller song, "From the floorboards up".


  • PolkaDot
    October 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    What was your musical inspiration for this write? Just lemme know


  • TwiztidMaggot
    September 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very interesting... I like ti tho. lol. you did a good job. congrats on your trophies. keep up your great work! good luck in my contest!

    Crimson


  • Celtess
    June 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Lush. thanks for sharing. Lots of great imagery here. Lots of anger and intensity. Thanks for entering my contest xox


  • Ryno
    June 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Hmm could've been more into it with the idea and the passionate emotion your trying to display, instead of simply stating your angry by smashing things and the rage in your mind; but loved the beginning descriptions and the parody. Good work, thanks for the entry.

    Ryan


  • lucy sky-diamond
    May 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very good indeed, such power to the piece, your imagery is vivid and very good. congrats on the bronze; it was well deserved
    lucy


  • positive anarchy
    May 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Ah, this is a good poem. I really understand the infernal rage-me, with my anger managment issues. But back to the poem.

    Great beat and rhyme. Like a rapid succession of bullets, the words seem to spit off the page in pure fury. And the coffe cup/old tea cup references?

    Wonderful. I've actually broken cups before. You've embondied all this emotion in such a small poem.

    I applaud you! Good job!
    ~Hippie


  • insecure princess
    May 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    great,

    i love this piece.
    reminds me of how i feel about my "STEP mother in-law" at times lol
    thankyou for entering my contest & good luck =]
    ♥ jade


  • Last Pixie
    May 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    oooooooooooooooooo........i love it!!! the words rhyme so well. it could be a rock song. the words just flow. its great. congrats!


  • Lady Patricia
    May 4, 2007

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    PHENOMINAL FLOW

    first and foremost. this feels origional and i am very glad i peeked in to read it.

    Inferno burns-
    flames blaze a trail 'cross the page;
    steam valve snaps,

    i dont quite know how to say this any other way, but you just rocked my house. steam valve snaps is just.. a great useage of words and even better imagry.
    jeeze.. so not joining now. good luck.


  • richiesnana
    May 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing

    Very different, I love it! The words flowed freely, and it expresses such emotion, I truly enjoyed it.

    Powerful!

    Good luck in the contest


  • Whoochi gold member
    April 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wowza Brosef, how did I miss this lil steamy one? Wooohoo, good job! Good luck!

  • piccola silver member
    February 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I sometimes do break things...it's like a release. Or I go outside and chop wood or break tree limbs. I like the boiling inside sense I get from your poem...almost boiling over. thanks for the entry.


  • Inside and out
    February 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Sometimes I get so mad that I could spit...but I don't ... My mom used to throw whatever was near her when she was angry. I found it frightening - besides that it only makes for more work to clean it up.
    This poem reads with a sense of reality. The tone brought back that hidden memory. Good job! Good luck in the contest.


  • Lone Defender
    February 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    For some reason, I could hear some very heavy, very dark metal playing in my mind as I read this. Maybe something with an industrial sound. It sets a great atmosphere with the start-and-stop, the dashes in specific places, and the sudden line endings. Kick-ass poem, friend.

    The only grammatical error I noticed was very minor.

    Original line:

    "fear rips it's way thru' my brain."

    Edited to:

    "fear rips its way thru' my brain."

    Do me a favor when you can--and toss the number of the option you used into your Author's Notes.

    Thanks for entering my contest, and best of luck!


  • Floorboards
    September 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thank you very much my friend,
    alex


  • Floorboards
    September 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thanks a lot for commenting,
    floorboards.


  • into your eyes
    September 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I love the way this rhymes just right and flows together. Thanks for entering.


  • Inside and out
    September 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This poem is intense. I can feel your passion. Well done indeed. Incredibly captivating.

  • Floorboards
    September 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thanks a lot, it's meant to be about getting mad and wanting to smash the house up but stopping short off actually doing it, it's about restraint.
    floorboards.

  • Miss Yorik
    September 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Been there, done that, felt the same way once upon a time. Still do sometimes. I broke a window when I was a teenager. lol those were the days.

    Your poem is full of tension and anger. I was waiting for a resolve, though, because you started from wanting to break a coffee cup, next it was just an old teacup, and then I expected it to be a junky mug or something. In the end, I thought you would twist it around and say something like, "life's not so bad after all. I just hate the moody times." But in any case, your poem is strong and gripping. Thanks for sharing.


  • September 9, 2006
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    well Im keeping out of your way.... Great poem. I think we all get like that sometimes. If you ever come to tea I will be sure not to use the good china


  • Swtpoetryman
    September 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    A fine place to leave my 1st applause of the

    WithI'm in a foul mood and everything is going wrong I am tempted to punch the door, stomp on the floor, and blow the rood offf of me house BUT being a middle aged fellow of love and peace - i just close my eyes and go to sleep and dream of all of the lovely ladies on AP who are smitten with me! He! He! That is safer and far more stimulating for my heart and more! LOL!!! SMASHING THE FLOORBOARDS UP could leave you with unsteady ground to walk on or open a door to Hell - if you know what I mean! All kidding aside - I am happy that you featured this melodic piece that read like a song, MR FLOORBOARDS for sadly I would have probably missed it today!
    Remember -
    Peace & Love is the way to go, Bro!
    Earl.


  • individuality gold member
    September 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    a creatively individual piece of poetry which you have penned here, a nice rhythm and flow cruises through the poem, an enjoyable read. spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...


  • Floorboards
    September 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thanks a lot for commenting,
    alex.


  • NickyC1988
    September 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow some intense anger in this poem. If that was your intent then you didi a very good job of it!!
    BrokenAngel

  • Mother Angst
    September 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    great write

    very descriptive! i think everyone can relate to these feeling s of outrage. when i get like this i try to go and be by myself and pray. that way, i dont have a big mes to clean up later!
    this poem is very good. i can sense the desperation beyond the words. great write!


  • Floorboards
    September 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thank you very much,
    floorboards.


  • Floorboards
    September 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    cheers, thanks a lot,
    floorboards.

  • PalmettoSky
    September 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this was an intense short piece...It had the feeling of a great rock song. I hope you expand upon what you have started here.


  • LadyUnique silver member
    September 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    fury is a fertile subject to write about...at least for me. there is so much of it. the second stanza grabbed me the hardest. high anger feels like insanity and probably is.
    great write.


  • Floorboards
    September 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thanks a lot!
    floorboards.


  • shuvi
    September 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    WELL DONE!!!

    Awesome...very aptly describes the way u feel when things go wrong...very intense yet beautiful...Way to go!!!


  • Floorboards
    September 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thank you very much preeti!
    much appreciated,
    alex

  • phoenixonfire
    September 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    BRAVO!

    What an intense write alex...I can actually feel the power of ur emotions..ur writes are always so full of them that one can enjoy the intense nature of the poem! Its a long time I have read ur poems but I finally decided to take time to comment on my favs poems! I am really impressed by this poem! The title itself shows ur rage..This is astounding! KEEP IT UP ALEX!
    PREETI


  • September 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Alex, this is a very powerful and intense Poem you have written here. I often find AP as a great tool to help in relieving stress and anger, through words. Keep up the great work and keep smiling .

    Cheers
    Terry


  • Floorboards
    September 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    cheers my friend! that was quick!
    alex


  • wings of an angel
    September 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very good write Alex that you had penned here my dear friend keep it flowing

1 - 49 of 49