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Holding onto yesterday
Praying those dreams never fade
into clouds of dusty grey
Holding onto yesterday
visions dance with fervent play
of abstract ambitions cautiously laid
Holding onto yesterday
Praying those dreams never fade
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Vague recollections of my youth
Snapshots in time that cascade like rain
deeper memories remain aloof
Vague recollections of my youth
an inescapable record of truth
a history that will not refrain
Vague recollections of my youth
Snapshots in time that cascade like rain
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Author notes
This is my second attempt at the triolet form and joined 2 together, trying to maintain the theme as much as possible. I just hope to those who are familiar with the form that I have not disgraced it (Any guidance or editorial suggestions welcome). Thanks for reading, at least I tried something new.
Written September 7th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Form Poetry! by Kiran.
1050 points, ended October 29, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Formed poetry contest by Luciferschild.
650 points, ended March 1, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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if you have time i would actually really like to know how to write one of these, thank you for entering and good luck
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thank you for your comment and interest in the form, the best resource for form poetry can be found at www.shadowpoetry.com click on the resources link and then select types of poetry, triolet etc will be there
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I love the triolet and I think this is an excellent piece. Poignant and brilliantly written. All the best in the contest. Thanks for entering.
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very beautiful again! your writing is more and more beautiful my dear friend! wow. loved it
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cool a b pattern
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Kewlness
Good write EP... I'm not the one to critique on the form poetry but the content is good... -
thanks again your precious comments always leave me feeling uplifted and enthused to keep putting pen to paper, I was in doubt as to whether or not I should post this piece as was not overly confident with it. All I can do is try, in the end I chose to post it so as to aid me in learning the form by getting critical feedback.
Edited on Sep 08, 5:04 p.m. because ''. -
I know nothing of this style of poetry, so i'm not even going to attempt to give you any advice! But....to me, it flowed well, nice use of language, and great that you are expanding your horizons! Thank-you for sharing your many talents...
Mareta
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Aparrently it is meant to begin with two non-rhyming lines:
A
B
then a rhymes with line A
A repeat first line
a rhymes with line A
b rhymes with line B
A repeat first line
B repeat second line
this is how the form was explained to me, so as far as I am aware it's correct. As for how accurately my attempts follow the form, only the form gods know.
there is supposed to be even syllable count, but I get confused by that and feel too restricted. -
i am no expert [far from it] but my understanding is that the last two lines should be the other way around? is that correct or am i barking up the wrong poetical tree.xxx
i love the words and it sounds great the way it is though. xxx
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