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Nothing

I was shopping in my local store
when I saw a square glass case,
it had a price tag on it
but was full of empty space.

I spoke to the assistant
who looked at it with pride,
I said, it has a price tag
but there is nothing inside.

She said it's very special
and of course you have to pay,
you don't see many places
with nothing on display.

It seems to be quite popular
you find it everywhere,
even at the customs
most have nothing to declare.

You can find it in any shop
if you have time to spare,
there is always someone coming out
saying they bought nothing there.

Nothing is a funny thing
it is not there at all,
but countries go to war
over nothing, as i recall.

If you spend all your money
you still have nothing left to show,
and when you die
you always take it with you when you go,

To some it's a religion
which really is quite clever,
for when you come to think of it
nothing lasts forever.

Author notes

Written September 6th, 2006
viridian

A contest entry

What did you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 60 of 60
  • Congrats on all the trophies, you deserved them. Thanks for entering my contest.
  • I could of swore I

    commented on this one, It reminded me of when I was a boy and tried to look at the stars and imagine nothing I could not do it. good write


  • Sprite silver member
    May 4
    Edit | Reply
    Reread. Still love it. ~ Joyce

  • Sprite silver member
    April 29
    Edit | Reply
    You are really getting your labors' worth with this poem! Of course, I think it is very cleverly written and it isn't something you would see every day (I had to say it.) Your flow is good, as is your rhyme. A wonderful idea.

    Thanks for entering. ~ Joyce


  • aslanlight
    April 22

    Edit | Reply
    Love it! It's very unique and entertaining. I especially like the part about people going to war over nothing. Clever stuff!

    Peace Georgia


  • Maldronah
    April 4
    Edit | Reply
    Nothing lasts forever.
    Nothing else does.


  • Luminescence
    March 11

    Edit | Reply
    hmmm... different. but it was nice... it really deserved the trophies that you got for your peice...

    Thank you so much for entering and participating in my contest and good luck,

    ~lumin

  • Auburn Sunrise gold member
    January 24
    Edit | Reply

    damn... entered this in enough contests?

    LOL. I can see this has won many trophies, and I can definitely see why.
    Excellent rhyme scheme, great rhythm - the whole thing just reads beautifully. I adore the message as well.
    Thank you for entering this thoguht-provoking but light-hearted piece.


  • JM Kenyon silver member
    December 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very thought provoking and inspiring write. Now, something occured to me in the beginning with the mention of an empty glass case with a price tag on it...

    I would like an empty glass box, not too big, not too small... I would probably buy "nothing" just for the inspiration that "nothing" brings me. I would be thrilled to have a box of nothing on my desk, so that when nothing makes sense, I can at least contemplate what "nothing" really is.

    Great write. s and best wishes always... ~Genie~
  • Matthew-Parry
    December 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Thought Inspiring!!!

    I liked this write! Its funny to think of nothing as something. Something that is none existent that most people carry with them throughout their lifetime. A truth untold. This poem is good, but it does not quite fit the specifications for this contest. I found your theme (nothing) to be very vaguely personified and some of your stanzas are forcefully construed. That is why it will score as such. Thank You for entering this piece into my contest!!! Best of luck in this event!!!

    Matt

    Your Score:

    Title:7.2
    Theme:8.2
    Flow:8.8
    Depth:9.4
    Feelings:10
    Grammar:10
    Presentation:8.5
    Uncommonness:8.9
    Sit & Ponder Affect:9
    Ability to Follow Rules:9
    TOTAL:89

    Good Job!!!


  • Sols
    November 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is some thought. "Nothing last forever" is quite true. I found myself laughing for the context in which you put it. Everybody looks at that saying as a negative, but now I can see the positive. Thank you for that thought and I wish you the best.

  • painted dreams
    October 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very clever poem. The rhyme scheme wasn't too constricting, and it had a good message to it. Thanks for entering!


  • cali951
    October 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Great poem I didnt think nothing would be this good but you fooled me so nothing is great good job and good luck in my contest

  • Dageek2
    August 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a really nice poem! Good luck in the contest!

  • AutumnsFlame
    August 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I liked this a lot... one thing I thought you could improve on was the sylabols though... some lines had too many and some had too few... Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.

  • DarkSunRises
    July 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    A wonderful piece with thought and integrity. I love the mind twists in this poem which work so well with both the rhythm and the rhyme. A very clever poem with a very distinct flow and feel.

    Thank you very much for the entry, and good luck.

    - DarkSun

  • Adios Muchachos gold member
    July 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Amazing! Nothing describes it better!

    John


  • bloved
    June 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow well written and very clever write..

    Nice flow and nice message

    My fav line was

    "Nothing is a funny thing
    it is not there at all,
    but countries go to war
    over nothing, as i recall."

    that is a very strong line and message...nothing is something....look at war

    Thanks for entering


  • paradoxical wish
    June 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    WOW!!

    Nothing can really expresses how much i liked this...
    Great Penning!!

    Thanks alot for entering my contest & Best of Luck

    GloriousGift
    Heba

  • WhollySurrendered
    May 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i think i may have already commented on this, but i was just looking through my old contest winners and saw this, remembering how much i had loved it. i just wanted to say that this poem is amazing in my book, and i love the meaning behind it. a truly dazzling read.

  • this was a greaty write and i really enjoyed reading this..your words were powerful,s trong and emotional as well..you defintly deserved the gold keep writting your talented

    ~Chrissy~
  • Amazing, This poem is very clever. And very well written

    Unique great write


  • The Void
    April 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this was a very funny and cute poem, you did a great job on this. thanks for entering and best of luck in my contest.






    finalist


  • Cinnarry gold member
    March 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I love it!

  • Starswhispers silver member
    March 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a nice piece I enjoyed the reading and the humour I feel it is not exactly what I was looking for the personification of an everyday object, in any case it is a very good poem making a enjoyable reading.
    Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.

  • Cherokee
    March 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    lol


  • Midnight-x-Rose gold member
    February 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    think of it you mean on the second to last line? Wonderful write here, this is honest and true... I often buy nothing, do nothing... Nothing is everywhere and nothing is great. I do nothing, say nothing, act like nothing happened... Oh yes nothing is a powerful thing, I believe it rules the world. Wonderfully humourous yet true piece of writing *smile*
    • serious clown gold member
      February 24, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      on Nothing

      Thank you for the comments and pointing my silly mistake which has now been rectified,I'm so sorry it was correct in the original---Norman

  • a n g e l
    January 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Whoa...this is fantastic...Straight up I have to say you are the winner...

    This is so very very VERY clever and so true...

    I am lost for words, this is fantastic, amazing, wonderful...

    There is nothing I can say that needs to be changed, altered, fixed etc...

    Top work...very clever..Congratulations...

    A n g e l


  • b e a u t i f u l
    December 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow... I absolutely love this. Especially the ending! I went back through and read it again a couple of times and this is the best thing I've read all day. You definitely have a unique way of seeing things... thanks for showing us.


  • debilynn gold member
    December 25, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    this is a hilarious poem that is thought provoking when one stops to think on it.
    "you don't see many places
    with nothing on display,
    it seems to be quite popular
    you find it everywhere,"
    too much to-do about nothing! and isn't this the truth!:
    "if you spend all your money
    you still have nothing left to show,
    and when you die
    you always take it with you when you go,"
    you did a wonderful job on this! you are very talented. keep the ink flowing poet. God bless you


  • Amera gold member
    December 25, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    A good read

    I like this your imagery is good as well as the thought. I think (imho) that it would be better if broken down into stanzas. It elevates the necessity for the excessive punctuation and amplifies your meter. What do you think? Amera







    I was shopping in my local store
    when I saw a square glass case,
    it had a price tag on it
    but was full of empty space

    I spoke to the assistant
    who looked at it with pride,
    I said, it has a price tag
    but there is nothing inside

    she said it's very special
    and of course you have to pay,
    you don't see many places
    with nothing on display,

    it seems to be quite popular
    you find it everywhere,
    even at the customs
    most have nothing to declare

    you can find it in any shop
    if you have time to spare,
    there is always someone coming out
    saying they bought nothing there

    nothing is a funny thing
    it is not there at all,
    but countries go to war
    over nothing, as i recall

    if you spend all your money
    you still have nothing left to show,
    and when you die
    you always take it with you when you go

    to some it's a religion
    which really is quite clever,
    for when you come to think of
    nothing lasts forever.

  • face down
    December 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this poem is nicely written. i like it a lot! great job. i hope to read more from you.

  • impossible dreamer
    December 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    very true. good job with this.

  • serious clown gold member
    November 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for the comments,I appreciate it,and you are right it is a serious comedy,glad you could see some meaning in it, best wishes---Norman

  • Manish
    November 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Very Good

    This is absoulutely an amazing peom. There's war for nothing?! I mean, wow!! Sorry honey! But it's sounds a very serious poem, and of course a very meaningful one.
  • serious clown gold member
    November 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for being so understanding and for the comments,I will not make that mistake again, best wishes---Norman

  • Elrenia
    November 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Not a problem, really. And, I understand about the error. I just like to read the winners in contests to see if the judging was done fairly. And, in this instance, it appears it was. This is not always the case. As I said, it was a very wonderful idea and well thought out. I enjoyed it very much.

    rous
  • serious clown gold member
    November 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for your comments,I appreciate it,I must apologise for withdrawing the poem but it was accidently mistaken for another poem,I'm sorry,I guess I lose out as well, best wishes---Norman

  • honey bear
    November 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    never mind we all make mistakes some time here is the link to my next contest if you are interested allpoetry.com/Contest/2322877
  • serious clown gold member
    November 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you so much for the trophy it's my first and is greatly appreciated,I am so sorry about removing the poem so quickly but it really was an accident,I was removing another poem from a contest that ended a while ago and accidently removed the wrong one,I'm so sorry because it's my loss as well,this was my first Gold,thank you again, best wishes---Norman

  • Elrenia
    November 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Very nicely stated. You seem to hit the nail on the head. However, I had to track this down from the host. How can people read it if you remove it immediately? It is not fair to the people checking out the winners, or the host. Please leave it up, next time. It is worth reading.

    As for a critique, I did find a lot of the lines uneven. The flow was just choppy. I love the message, it is just the delivery was less than satisfying. You made some good points and made me think.

    Congratulations.
    Thank you for sharing.

    rous

  • honey bear
    November 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    CONGRATULATIONS ON A GOLD CUP.. but oh dear you removed the gold winning poem before everyone go tto see it
    maybe next time you could leave it in a little longer if you win again as people like to lok at the winning poems??
  • serious clown gold member
    November 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you very much,glad you like the poem,if it brings a smile to your face then I have achieved something good, best wishes---Norman

  • honey bear
    November 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    very good

    ha ha ha great work! i love the style and the flow in fact i loved everything about this poem..thank you for sharing this with us and keep up the good work..and thank you for the much needed laughter...
  • serious clown gold member
    September 30, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your comments on both my poem,I appreciate it,and good luck to everyone in your contest, best wishes---Norman
  • TravisB
    September 30, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This was great. Very cool interpretation of nothing. It was almost riddle'ish. I reallly enjoyed this. Good job and good luck in the contest.
  • serious clown gold member
    September 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your comment,it is greatly appreciated, best wishes---Norman
  • serious clown gold member
    September 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks once again for the comments and applause,it was nothing really, best wishes---Norman

  • DarkHunter
    September 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Exceptionally Good

    This is an exceptionally good piece and I really enjoy your style. It's all smooth and just rolls of the tongue effortlessly. I like the mix of humour and seriousness that you have combined to create this excellent piece.

  • Never Fall in Love
    September 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    wow
    i am really amazed at the ending

    to some it's a religion
    which really is quite clever,
    for when you come to think of
    nothing lasts forever.

    its like the whole story was full of humor
    and in the end .. bang .. theres the truth
    great write!
    keep it up!
    ~NeVeR~
  • serious clown gold member
    September 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for the comments and the applause,I hope it didn't bring back bad memories, best wishes

  • Psycho Dancer ---
    September 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    it reminds me when american adults bought their children empty boxes and told them to imagine a present =S

    i liked it though!

    and i know it goes a lot deeper than just something in a shop window

    an intreiguing write

  • serious clown gold member
    September 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your very kind words,but it was nothing really,lol,your comments are appreciated, best wishes---Norman

  • forever - silenced
    September 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    haha... i really like this poem it's awesome! i really like the way you have written it and what you have written it is very clever! my favourite lines in this poem are

    "I said, it has a price tag
    but there is nothing inside,
    she said it's very special
    and of course you have to pay,
    you don't see many places
    with nothing on display,
    it seems to be quite popular
    you find it everywhere,"

    I really liked these lines they made me laugh! you have a great way with words! great write keep writting much love

    ~Forever Silenced~
  • serious clown gold member
    September 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you,your comment are appreciated,the idea is to get people to see there is more than one way of looking at everything, best wishes---Norman

  • -Ang-
    September 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    very well written Clown - you seem to pose interesting questions to the reader with every piece you write.

    ang

  • Bullet To The Head
    September 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    wow i like this poem alot...
    "you can find it in any shop
    if you have time to spare,
    there is always someone coming out
    saying they bought nothing there,
    nothing is a funny thing
    it is not there at all,
    but countries go to war
    over nothing, as i recall,"

    i loved thoes lines! haha this were pretty clever.

    this was a great write keep it up! =]

    ♥ Lynn
1 - 60 of 60