a thought indifferent.
Andrew Eisenschenk
it could be that we’re all searching,
finding ways to disappear
beneath the soft ground,
and listen to the footsteps
of life that lives just above.
would this be the answer?
the existing meaning to our winding days?
or just another question; this why?
to break down what is in front of us,
to destroy the very essence
of what we have become,
without thought, without realization.
letting everything slip away
in one frail swoop of indiscretion.
and could we even consider
how this day is no different
than the one before; although the same?
that we are no different
than the very things which we hide,
no different than the answers we believe
in our conscious mind,
in our feign attempt for re-admittance
into this futile struggle
for reassurance that this is life.
Author notes
...again
Written September 5th, 2006
A contest entry
- Blasphemous Rumours by Exodus.
500 points, ended February 5, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
-
I really enjoy the questions you pose to the reader, certainly they are not things that I have been askedbefore in such a way. The first two lines of your poem I found especially engaging.
That said, and it should be obvious that I am also saying I enjoyed reading this piece (and if you didn't get that before you do now ^.^) I did ask for proper capitalisation and punctuation. While you have not disappointed me in the latter, the former is completely lacking. If this is deliberate please let me know the reason. Much love -
now that I have read it.. I have no words... it is a very good piece... filled with profoundly sad truths of our existence... thankfully these experiences are balance out also with joy and promise... the great rollercoaster of life.
-
sorry i did not get a chance to read after i clicked i was called away... now I am busy and I hope to return to give this poem the attention it deserves.
-
Very strong message with the perfect selection of words to convey the message. Thought provoking to the point of consuming. Great write and good luck in the contest.
-
This had an interesting style and had a lot of deep almost pessimistic questions. The world does seem like a dark place. In our little Arkansas town we are mourning the death of one of our own who died five years ago at the world trade center. I do think however the best answer to the hard questions in life is to try and carry on bravley as possible. If for no other reason as a tribute to those who no longer have that privledge.
-
WOW!
I simply loved the piece! It was an amazing piece of work, and the thoughts were quite original! A marvellous piece of work, thought-provoking and interesting. I certainly liked your style, and your poem too!
A Great piece!
Madhumita
-
the words coming out of a gifted poet. the last three lines appealed me most .that reveals the fool's paradise in which we live.i really enjoyed this piece .
-
how true.
i read your comment on why you choose not to use caps and i see your point. i've often done the same for the same reason. some don't like it thinking it's not correct or that i have low self-esteem...not hardly
excellent write, thought provoking and very well said
-
Deep
This was very deep..very real...and a great emotional write that I enjoyed reading. Thanks for sharing and the best of luck to you in the contest!
Kari -
Powerful, honest, personal and great. Inspiration wraught in every line. amazing intuitive patterns coarsing through every word. You have captured so much wealth from this poem, thanks for sharing it.
-
Excellant /intriguing/challenging
A rather thought provoking piece, and its too early in the morning to think. (6:30am) Very well done, just as it is. -
in our feign attempt for re-admittance
into this futile struggle
for reassurance that this is life.
truely so universwal truth with a philosophy of the life bringing the interpretation in terms of our present and future as well..a great work here..
-
Classic 1
Highly Impressive n True Emotions given in this poetic mind !
Well Done My Dear Supermansdead ! Bravo ~
Never borrow sorrows
from within,from outside,
looming around they make life gloomy,
sorrows always come in rows
unless controlled,they keep
burrowing,drain brain,intellect,
make mental makeup to arrest,
avoid these unwanted thoughts,
people around always
try to dig into,keep
puring evil thoughts
distracting good thoughts;
dont give room to borrow sorrows,
narrow,block the entry,
keep mind always refreshed
that keep mind,body healthy,happy.
entertain always good thoughts!
best sincere wishes buddy.....subbu -
good
and could we even consider
how this day is no different
than the one before; although the same?
that we are no different
than the very things which we hide,
no different than the answers we believe
in our conscious mind,
in our feign attempt for re-admittance
into this futile struggle
for reassurance that this is life.
this is a very powerful, deep, thought provoking piece
of writing. this touches the reader, causes questions
and thoughts, and that is what poetry should do, can do.
good job with this.
-
i liked this and it was very original in its thinking
-
This does make you questions things.........very well done job on this piece and you ask many questions that I think we all wonder on from time to time.........awsome job
-
Sabrinasgarden-
In my writing I have stopped using caps, as a way to give every word just as much credit as any other. Unless of course I find a word important, more so than any other word in the piece. That word is then capitalized to shine in the readers eyes and further the meaning of the piece. I feel that if every word I choose to put into my writing has been given enough thought and consideration, then they deserve to be given equal credit. I hope that makes sense...
Thank you very much for your kind words!
~Andrew -
sleepy hollow
youve found yourself a small bit of genius in this piece here.i love the writing as it was very entertaining on its own but i love the whole idea youve come up with here.its very interesting and of course anything that includes graves is always great fun for me. -
I like the piece with no caps, its like a wonderfully flowing meandering thought process. Subjective, Fragmented, a tricky puzzle play with words. Very clever.
-
I was impressed by this piece because of the depth and immense thought which went into it's creation.
"finding ways to disappear
beneath the soft ground,
and listen to the footsteps
of life that lives just above."
Favourite lines although a question: why do you not use any Caps?
-
awesome
-
wow this poem spoke to me like was a tiny voice deep inside saying ..hey Suzi, listen up...such a remarkable job you have done here.
This is an extremely thought provoking piece.
Well done!
I will be looking to click on more of your works in the future!
Hugs, Suzi -
Thought provoking
Pondering the whys of life is the thinker's right. Expressing your views in the form of poetry as you have done, is eternal. I like the way this poem made me think, (I already think too much).
Dimitri -
this is a great philosophical poem on life and what it means to you. A great view from a thoughtful mind. I find that this piece speaks many truths, but by looking at them objectively, you allow the reader to easily agree or disagree without stepping on toes. Completely objective, but without cynicism, excellent writing! ~Robert
Adding your comment:
1 - 24 of 24
8 old applause
