"oh lord", they sighed, "what is this we spy?"
as the horse was wheeled in and the folks wandering by
all came to look, to view this thing
that was bigger than anything they'd ever seen.
"it's a gift from the gods", "for the Trojan horde"
"we have fought for 10 years, and this is our reward"
"where shall we keep it, it's so very pretty"
"I know, lets keep it inside the walls of our city!"
As the king looked down on the City confused
he turned to his son completely bemused
"good lord, those Greeks may be men of swords swift
but by god, they are rubbish at building a gift!"
"BE GONE YOU FOOLS, GO OUT OVER YONDER,
This horse is not staying a minute longer"
so the town folk distraught, with hearts that sank
pushed the monstrosity to the river bank.
"No need to break it up for fire", said the king
"we've stocks a plenty and really the only thing
to do with this horse, you stupid Trojans
is to let it float back to Greece, across the oceans!"
So into the water the horse did go
but instead of float, it went down below
the water level, killing all the soldiers inside
who thought it ever so funny to wait and hide.
Author notes
Written September 5th, 2006
A contest entry
- Alternate History!!! by Mamabekaboo.
300 points, ended October 11, 2006, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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So Funny
Lmao this was such a funny piece of writing my friend, I wish in history class this story had of come up would not of slept through most of history then lol.
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This is cute. Very well done. Thanks for entering my contest. Because He Lives, Beka
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clever and funny
And thats how it should have ended if only they had your forsight lol x -
That was really funny and very cool!
I enjoyed reading it very much. they were so stupid to accept the gift lol!
Excellent rhyme and word choice. I like the comment the king made to his son! And the ending was very nicely written.
Keep on writing and good luck in the contest.
Nooni
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Excellent!!
This is FANTASTIC! Oh, this is a winner. Killer stuff. I love the line about being rubbish at building a gift. Wonderful, wonderful stuff. The only improvement I could suggest is perhaps some tongue-in-cheek, subtle reference to (Trojan) condoms! 
Awesome, awesome work.
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One of my favourite historical stories, and I love what you did with it! This contest is keeping me very much amused with magnificent writes such as this, it's really good, keep it up
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I wrote it in the office so i hear you! hahah! Thanks!
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Excellent
Loooool this was great indeed. Amazing write, thanks for sharing and for the laugh. I needed it now cos I'm in my office getting mad lol.
Great write.
Keep on penning my friend.
Elie -
hahaah! very good! Now enter the competition!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Well done.
I enjoyed the twist in the ending. -
Darling
So witty but why
reverse who does die
if George Washington lost
what of that cost?
Ben Franklyn once said
while tapping his head
victors write history and
losers poetry with elan.
So shouldn't we write
how the Trojan's delight
in losing their fight
or perhaps they're contrite.
Smoosh
Janet -
that was funny i thought it was really nice
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this is cute. it flowed well and was a
real twist on the story of what really
happened. good job. -
hahaha! you aren't invited to play my TROJAN game anymore! you are too good!
hahahahhaha!
Nice work! -
I can't help liking Lesbians
Uh.... is this wishful thinking on the part of your fancy?
Hmmmmm.....
But hey! Ulysses opened the hatch and they all swam out, aided by Poseidon and the Nereids, who helped them to shore!
Then they fought their way to Lesbos and "fixed" all those silly sisters.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
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hahah! I know the feeling. I wanted Eric Banner to beat Brad Pitt! maybe i'll write another TROY poem and change that bit too! ahha!
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That was a really good humourous poem and you have written it so well. the rhyming did not seem forced at all. It was a great ending and one that i wish had happened when i watched the movie Troy. Great job.
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I really like this alternate ending, it's funny and very well written. I think this is a great contest poem. Nice work!
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Thanks for your comments! i'm glad I made you chuckle! I find there isn't enough fun and giggles here! I think funny lighter poems are much harder to write but this was actually quite easy for a change! Great contest!!!!!!!
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Thanks you! Hoard, Horde! both look wrong but i trust you!
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oh this isbrilliant and i like this ending cos it was a shame to see them all get killed when they just liked alittle horse well a big horse but you know what i mean.its a great idea for a competition and i think you may be onto a winner goof luck i mean good luck my finger did a freudian slip.
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OMG...this was just too good...I loved it
just loved it! -
Comical
Haha! This was a fun read! Very creative and original too. Well done, you did a great job of not only writing a superb funny poem, but also making my day end with a giggle and a smile. Thank you. -
historical hilarity I always thought yeah why didnt they just burn the darn thing anyway. But oh woe are the proud and ones that believe they are ten foot tall and bullet proof.
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Hehe, such a cute write. I like the comic twist to a historical event. Keep it up!
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Very funny, witty historical re-write, with only one little niggle, I think your spelling of "hoard" should be "horde" Good luck in this fun contest!
Ann -
I love it! It was really cute and i like the language, good write!
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Was fun entering this contest! inspired! thanks! xx
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Very Good. This is cute and well written at the same time. Thanks for entering my contest.
Because He Lives,
Beka
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