Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Secret.

Missing image

 

 

Our love a distant island, locked by a shimmering sea,
Marooned by the stars within her eyes, she casts her gaze on me,
The nets of need I ache within, that her heart mine alone,
Secluded in a distant dream, I wish the truth be known?
For tempted she the breeze to blow, to cool my seas afire,
She beckons of my heart to know, in laments of pure desire!


That all who see her beauty, may wish their need to say,
As she tempts in waves of sirens, and asks mans soul to stray,

This love I keep a secret, to never speak its wake,
To hold within my heart now, as the ripples on the lake,
For ever she to leave me, that my heart be forlorn,
My island left not virgin, and its sandy beaches torn,


To cast me to the deepest fear, her love she gives to fate,

That all I am would so become my heart, a shriveled hate!
So make me then an island, and meet her there with me,
That only stars then written, on an open empty sea,
No other hearts within this world, this heaven I come to know,

And the secret of our destiny, my eyes will never show!


She is my sky, the palms that shade, the kiss upon my soul,
Without her I am cast alone, not one, not heart, not whole!
That nature goads the man in me, it will not show its head,
That she may others hearts to see, in the worlds unruly bed!
For secret I shall keep of her, and locked in treasured cask,
That I to look within her eyes,
And need to never ask?

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 60 of 60

  • Deaths Prayer
    September 18

    Edit | Reply
    Great poem! you penned a lot of imagery in this one

    I enjoyed this read very well done. you painted a good picture about love. the loss of love and yearning for love.it was sensual and soulful, full of heart and emotion. i wish you well in my contest. good luck

  • I love the picture you chose for your poem. It went very well with your poem. What a wonderful poem you have penned as well. I am saddened by the fact I have to remove this poem from the contest but you've already won a contest. Thanks for entering. kahy


  • Kathraina silver member
    April 1

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is absolutely lovely!
    Stunning piece, I love the tale told here. Raw emotion and intense imagery throughout. Also, great rhyme and flow.
    Bravo!!!


    ♥ kate


  • echo-ink
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    Lovely, what a fantastic story in poetic form. Amazing.
    Thanks for entering.

  • piccola silver member
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    well deserving of the golds. I not only like the write but the nice presentation as well. Thank you for entering


  • The Green Elf
    November 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i love this poem. It's soooooooo amazing! Nice Write!


  • BleedingBlackTears
    October 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Neato! i love it its so well written very powerful and demanding. good luck


  • AutumnsFlame
    October 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW... This BLEW ME AWAY!!!

    What I loved most about it, was that it really reminded me of my girlfriend. I could relate to the theme a lot, which is why this poem spoke to me. The rhyme and imagery were absolutely flawless as well. I really like the description you put into this. You could really feel the emotion when reading it! Thank you for entering my contest and congradulations on staying in it!


    • Keith Drew gold member
      October 6, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      In this world it is so hard to find that distant island.
      For so many wish to travel to the same place.
      My life, my wish, and my heart, look within the beauty of a woman's eyes many times.
      In the hope to find that secret one day.


  • AutumnsFlame
    September 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Damn, I just realized I commented on this twice! Oh well... haha


    • Keith Drew gold member
      September 4, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the wonderful comment. Hope your girlfriend finds her island in life.


  • SomeonesToySoldier gold member
    July 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow that really is a very beautiful piece. I have one that makes me feel like this but I'm not even sure she knows it. Also the rhyme and flow of the piece were awesome.Its really a remarkable poem. Thanks for entering it into my contest.


  • Pretty Britty
    June 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow,
    as always you have penned a gorgeous piece of literature.
    Such romance in this piece, and desire as well.
    I love it, it's amazing.


  • darlintlc silver member
    May 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Your poem is just dripping with romance and desire!

    thanks for entering my contest
    darlintlc

  • ecrivain01
    May 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Too many problems with this ...

    sorry.


  • Roaddog Wolf
    May 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Terrific write you have penned her, very deep in the inner feelings and workings of the heart, shows a respect and integrity that is a refreshing character trait to see. Good Write Thanks for your entry and good luck to you in the contest. xxx

  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    April 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your exquisite entry, good luck, Josie

    • Keith Drew gold member
      April 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the Gold. But much more of a prize would be,if you yourself could find that secret isle.
      Good luck sweet lady in your quest.


  • N e a r
    January 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful. You rhymed so graciously and expressed your love and feelings with such ease!

    Thanks for entering my contest! Good luck!

    M a r l u x i a


  • Sweetangelgrace
    January 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    awwwwwwwww just simply beautiful! My jaw is to the floor, I am in total awe.
    what a wonderful poem for me to read today
    Well expressed. Two thumbs up!
    Goodluck in my contest!

    ~~GRACE~~


  • Mat Larkin
    January 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    excellent work...

    very inspired and nicely crafted...


  • Miss Sarcastical
    November 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is a very good poem good luck in the contest


  • lindaburns gold member
    October 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I don’t want to be less than kind. You have some wonderful images here and some beautiful phrases. I am confused by the way question marks are scattered through the poem in places where I can’t see the question. I think this could be worked into something really excellent. Thank you for entering my contest.


  • wolfcub
    September 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    You've got some really good descriptions and stuff in here but some of it didn't make sense to me - 'that her heart mine alone' and 'to cool my seas afire'. the second sounds like an oxymoron but even so makes little sense to me!
    You have some great rhymes and a great flow and a pretty good poem here though, so that's good!
    Thankyou for entering and good luck in my contest.
    Katie


  • rosepoet
    August 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    wow this is breathtaking. I love every line of it.
    keep the ink flowing my dear poet


  • Ale E
    July 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I liked this a lot. I especially liked your rhyming and flow. Very beautifully written. I liked all the imagery. Nice write- thank you for entering and good luck in my contst.


  • LadyInRed55
    June 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    This poem

    should have won 1st place in the last contest u entered. I just read this poem and I feel the passion and thought plus love you put into this piece. Please let me know your name, I want to read some more of your work.
    Thanks!!!


  • Myjoy gold member
    June 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Sexy tone is right for I heard your voice as I was reading. Oh what disire this poem can put within a woman. To know how this poem was made still blows my mind. To know love without kowning, well done. I love the man and the heart, well said Keith. But you still always amaze me. Bravo.


  • KissMeGoodnight
    April 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    aw. this is gorgeous.
    i love it. your calm and sexxi tone lol.
    amazing


  • aGent Lemon
    March 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you very much for entering this contest. I may add much more of a comment later on since there are so many other submissions.


    You may want to keep in mind that I will try to open more of the same contests one after another if I can earn enough feedback to do so which I must say would be truly appreciated. Altogether, I hope this will also give everybody a glimpse at one of you're favorite accomplishments which hopefully in turn inspire them to look at what else you've got.


  • Erik Ambrose gold member
    March 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very well done. Thanks for entering.


  • Zanark
    March 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Instant finalist


  • Sgt B
    February 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Great Imagery

    I loved the flow you had in this story of yours. Good job ~Ron~

  • wolfcub
    February 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wow! Beautiful flow, beautiful words, beautiful rythm. I loved the rhymes, and the passion and drama that you poured into this dragged me into the poem. I really love this piece, and I think you've definitely acheived somethin here.
    Thankyou for entering and good luck in my contest.
    Katie


  • wings of an angel
    February 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a lovely poem you penned here, your rhythm and rhyme flowed beautifully throughout the entire poem, well done dear poet good luck in my contest


  • Lj-
    January 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, your rhyming was beautiful.

    You've crafted these words beautifully. There's something about the way you write, like it's not in the modern ordering of words, if you get what I'm saying.

    I loved:

    "That only stars then written, on an open empty sea,
    No other hearts within this world, this heaven I come to know?
    And the secrets of my destiny, my eyes will never show!"

    Great, great job!
    Thanks for your entry.
    Best of Luck!!!


  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    December 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Best of luck in the contest


  • Rachael70
    December 12, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    Great Piece

    Wow, this is a great piece. Good luck in the contest.

    ~Majestic Poet

    P.S. Sorry my comment was so short!

  • Tempa Lee
    November 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    keith i just can't get enough of your work. it's just great. keep it coming.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~dani~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


  • Hatstand
    November 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    It's a sweet poem (although the picture won't display, so I'm not sure how much I'm missing from that) and the last stanza is really nice. The fourth line in the last stanza needs editing - 'to' is out of place (if you reverse the inversion and write it in its simple form, you get 'that she may to see other hearts'). Line 3 in the first stanza also needs picking through, I think. 'The nets of need I ache within' and 'that her heart mine alone' both need some work. Maybe punctuate the first 'the nets of need; I ache within'.
    'As she tempts in waves of sirens' and 'My island left not virgin' are good.


  • Frogzter gold member
    October 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    That is one lucky lady! I love this poem and your rhyme is flawless, that in itself is a lost art and you make it look like childs play! A wonderful and inspiring piece! Thanks for sharing and best wishes!
    Frog~


  • looneyeclipse
    October 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    You sure did spell out how important she is in your life.

    Let's hope that the warming of the Earth doesn't cause all the polar ice to melt, raising the sea levels, and drowning that island you spoke of lol...j/k

    I loved the use of metaphors, and the romantic story you told within your poem. Thanks for posting it, and good luck in the contest.


  • jasminerose
    October 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hi Keith,
    A beautiful sad and oh so romantic write! Longing for the one that fulfills our hearts is such an emotional subject we all at some point can share in You wrote this with such perfection!
    Thank you for entering our contest!
    Jasminerose

  • afireinthisheart
    October 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I agree, it's one beautiful penning...a dream captured perfectly...awesome write...smile...David


  • poet2angels gold member
    October 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I truly love this poem. I have to say that this contest has brought the best of the best in rhyming poems, and I do love rhyming and free verse when done well, and this one is truly elegant! It weminds me of a William Wordsworth style and I do mean that as a sincere compliment. I loved the entire poem, but these lines stood out to me...

    "This love I keep in secrets, to never speak its wake,
    To hold within my heart now, as the ripples on the lake,
    For ever she to leave me? That my heart be forlorn?
    My island left not virgin, and its sandy beaches torn?

    To cast me to the deepest fear, her love she gives to fate?
    That all I am would so become, my heart, a shrivelled hate!

    The picture compliments your poem as well
    TY for entering and best of luck in the competition!
    Lynda


  • Frozentearz
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Well Keith I must say this was very impressive,
    and so sensule, soft and wonderful wording,
    your emotions have a beautiful play in this one.
    Thanks for sharing
    warm thoughts
    Frozentearz


  • Nature Song silver member
    September 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Keith, I could not view the picture, not sure why I am sure with this lovely poem for the your lovely lady it is a prefect choice. Nicely done, full of depth & emotions. She must be lucky indeed to have won your heart! ~Sie


  • ThePainter
    September 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Best love poem

    You are her secret, too. She is one lucky lady!
    All I can see is your heart beating with love. It is one of the best love poems you have written. The ending is very touching:

    "For secret I shall keep of her,
    And locked in treasured cask,
    That I to look within her eyes,
    And need to never ask?"

    Now, this made me cry! Thank you, Keith for writing this poem. It is a treasure just like your heart!

    Nataly


  • Lady Altheia gold member
    September 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This poem is so sincere and poetic yet romantic. I think the picture looks kinda like a candlestick but that is just me.

  • hiddenbeauty51011
    September 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    i loved this write it was fantastic great job. i hope to read more poems such as this


  • bleeding-within
    September 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    wo this is great! nice write

  • Trevor DeSouza
    September 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Robert Browning would dance with joy to read such wonderful lines and an equally amazing poem. The poem was strong in content and in every sphere of the art of Poetry writing. You are are simply spellbinding in what you wrote. The choice of words and the occasion were very apt.I don't know what to say---you are way out of this world. I would like to read more of your works. Though you were so sensuous, yet you did not border on the obscene. Your writing was good and clean with the underlying conotation of physical desire. The carnal longing was felt but not made obvious. You have a method in making the readers imagination see it all. Bravo!


  • StormGoddess Greeters member
    September 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Keith, this is beautifully sad. I know, oxymoron of sorts. But something about this is kind of eerie in it's own way, but with a seduction kind of hidden within it. Very nice hun.

    Storm


  • nilav
    September 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    your secret shows a painful longing.it is like every other love poem,but brought out the feeling in powerful words.the emptiness without the loved one is there in your imagery.sometimes if we reveal our love that may be painful to some other people,even with all the frankness of writers we have to keep some things to ourselves


  • LadyUnique silver member
    September 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    first off... you've chosen a beautiful picture to compliment your words
    the way you write is dreamy, kind of old worldly if that makes sense. i hope it does. i want to say 'quaint' but it's not quite right...oh sigh... hate when i can't think of the right word.
    your poem is very long but holds the reader's interest.
    very nicely done


  • PoEtRyInMe
    September 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow! THis is brilliant. B E A U T I F U L write! This was so remarkable incredible. I am going to read more of your stuff I truly enjoyed this!

    ~Kate~


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    September 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    So pure these truths...

    You put me to tears dear soul. Truly this is one of your finest pieces, pulled from deep within that magic heart of yours. That last line ..... how truly wonderful it would be. Beautiful. ~Pamela

  • Keith Drew gold member
    September 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for the comment! But tell me could you see the picture I placed with the poem?
    Edited on Sep 04, 5:56 because ''.


  • Emilia Ricks
    September 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Absolutely fantastic. I am going to bookmark this poem. Wow.. I am left speachless. This poem really struck a cord with me.

1 - 60 of 60