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save the sea

the sea churns
wide and thick
       storms brew against the jet stream


      a sickly stomach
      wanting to purge

      there is something wrong,
      direly wrong.
      memories that populate and
      wriggle about in wiggly schools like fish
      some small and bright,
      darting through reefs in the shallow waters of consciousness

      some
      hideous

      enormous

      slither the floor
      under rocks
      'round open sores
      breaching the sanctity of the mantle
     
how to navigate
how to capture
one by one reel them in
      identify and catalog each species of heartbreak
release them peaceably back into the abyss

save the sea

save the sea

Author notes


Written September 3rd, 2006

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • grannyeri gold member
    September 17, 2006
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    The sea has been filled with all kinds of oils, garbage and who knows what else. Looks so pleasant at times, the tide rolling in and out, crashing against the rocks, when it really is filled with so much unwanted "stuff".

  • Moonlitwolf
    September 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Dude, I love your metaphors here. Very well written. I also enjoy that you can use wriggle and wiggly in the same sentence. Thats pretty awesome.
    "Catalogue each species of heartreak." Thats got to be my favorite line. So well written and it affirms my love of the see. Be sure that I'll be checking out some of your other stuff.


  • Kari gold member
    September 16, 2006
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    Good!

    I love this poem...it was so good. I love the ocean...and everything about it myself..so I really liked this poem here Thanks for sharing!

    Kari


  • WisdomWarrior
    September 16, 2006
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    I love this, from form to story. Well done indeed.


  • homegrown poet
    September 16, 2006
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    It's got this childish air about it. It's what I call a free poem. That is, a poem that gives you a sense of freedom and stilled yet fleeting time.


  • Child of Water
    September 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Amazing piece. Touching and gripping. For me this paragraph was full of rich and shivering imagery
    " some
    enormous
    hideous
    slither the floor
    under rocks
    'round open sores
    breaching the sanctity of the mantle"....really struck me hard. Fantastically sad and heartfelt peace...I will bookmark it. Thanks. Best wishes


  • Mel-the-Believer
    September 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    A very interesting, poem. It made me think. It was descriptive too, at least I think so. I could see a boat at sea and a man at the rail. Good imagery. Great write. God Bless!


  • mAgAn1888
    September 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    great write !this is one of my favorite poems i'v read on allpoetry i think you should keep on writing like this ,countrygurl18


  • mjseattle silver member
    September 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Masterly

    Of all the poems of yours that I've read so far, this is my favorite, and, I think, your best. Everything just seems to fall perfectly into place. I WILL be reading more of your stuff in the near future, motherf...

    Mark


  • sunnystar
    September 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    truly you are an writer i tatallyadmire for the style of writing you have and the hidden or rather mystque messages that you intend to give withain words what is a sea so like a heart,accepting all in its arms but frightened and churned by little storms and to get them all out of the hearts it s a real challenge in saving it you bet this one was a great piece i liked ...sunny..u amaze by your words.

  • Rudolf
    September 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Passion of Float

    I love the sea. Whenever I am sad or mad or glad I love to go to the sea. The sea is so powerful and the crashing of the waves makes all well. You did a lovely job making the sea so visual to us. Makes me want to go to my car and drive to it right now. Thanks Rudolf


  • Dalaney gold member
    September 6, 2006
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    I live on the ocean, so I appreciate and know first hand what you've written here. You are a good writer. No crits, (I'm just not good at it) so you're stuck with...lovely, Gren
    Love,
    Lane


  • soulfultia gold member
    September 5, 2006
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    good

    This is an expressive and creative write... I enjoyed reading it and love when people express their passion in a write. You clearly expressed yourself and I want to thank you for sharing this piece with us. Keep up the good work!


  • Jovensquire
    September 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully written. The indentation is a fantastic metaphore in itself, like the tide coming in then being released, or being drawn under water then breathing again. nicely penned.


  • Night Phoenix
    September 4, 2006
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    Wow. Such beautiful imagery you present here. What a spectacular metaphor!!! I don't know what to say beyond- I'm speechless (and that's an accomplishment!)

1 - 15 of 15