These two promise each other bliss,
with each short-sighted easy kiss,
Their love demands that one must die,
to burn in Hell; their love deny.
A bargain struck by a young man,
desperate to see his wife again,
He, trapped beyond Hell's gloomy gate,
She, still alive and cursing Fate.
He lives by taking others lives,
by bullets, poison, butcher knives,
One thousand souls he must retrieve,
his lover's kisses to receive.
"A thousand souls" the devil says,
and soul by soul the young man pays,
becoming a killing connoisseur,
brings wicked souls to Lucifer.
To Sheol he will soon return
with one more to forever burn,
but born again as countless fools,
these willing slaves; the devil's tools.
The price is set, the contract drawn,
one thousand souls are nearly gone,
He stands and faces Satan's throne,
For the last time he is alone.
"I've killed them all," he says aloud,
still standing tall, defiant, proud,
"Now bring my wife to meet me here,
and let me hold my true love near."
The devil smiles his blackest grin,
draws the forces of evil in,
and sets across the human land,
the full force of his wicked hand.
Buildings fall and mountains crumble,
Oceans thrash as towers tumble,
But when at last it does subside,
His lady is not by his side.
"Father of Lies!" the man shouts out,
"You tricked me, you evil, lazy lout,
Had me do all your dirty work,
Now all you do is sit and smirk."
The devil's smile begins to grow,
"Oh foolish boy, you didn't know?
While you've killed to regain your love,
She's watching you from heaven above."
Author notes
This is what I've been working on all this time... why I havn't been uploading. It's based on the story behind My Chemical Romance's album Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge. Basically, the guy and the girl are in love and somehting happens and he dies and goes to Hell but she's still alive, sooooo... he makes a bargain with the devil. A thousand souls and the devil will kill the girl. I added the twist at the end.
Written September 2nd, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 34 of 34
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Fantastic!
OMG! This is stellar! How dare you say; "go somewhere else because others have better poetry" WRONG! This is one of the beset metered, rhyming poems I have witnessed on this site in a long while. The story unfolds where the reader is on the edge of their seat waiting for what happens next. I love the ending! A clever twist indeed. This is dark and light mixed. I am impressed. A delightful read with an unexpected ending, now who could ask for more?
BRAVO!
Much Love ♥
Renee
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Hoorah!
All I can say is that is a great iterpretation to the album. You did is so I can't even think of a word.
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Thank you! and thankys for the applause too!
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Hey, that's another great idea... thanks for the comment!
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Very good
LOL....this is very good. Love the story, got to admit I was thinking that at the end the Devil was going to make it so the last soul killed was his wife and he'd still have nothing left. I like your twist much better. -
Thank ooo! (And your comment is pretty eloquent too, hee hee)
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This poem is extermely eloquent. ^_^ You have the great talent of being able to rhyme and make sense (perfect sense, I might add), something you should be very proud of. Great job!
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Thanks so much!
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wow, great story, darkness and love, great combo...loved the ending.
Michelle Fey -
Ha, well I certainly wasn't trying to make it true to life, I kind of like your interpretation. Thanks, gald you liked the twist
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Hey i like this poem. It is so true.....the devil uses people like this to do all of his dirty work. You did a great job with this poem. Keep up the good work Oh ya I forgot to tell you...I loved the twist you added at the end.
Kimberly
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Wow, thanks!
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I love this poem; it has such ardent phrasing and every word feels like cupid himself fired it from his bow.
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Thank you very mcuh for the kind compliment.
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Fantastic. This is so excellently rhymed its left me in awe. The story is superb, dark and ironic. It's simply perfect. Well done and thanks for the comment on my poem 'Wintery Implications'. xxx
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Thank you!!!
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i love it nice job. ur a great writer keep it up.
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Thank you!
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I remeber that book... the purple aura, right? Hee hee, thanks for reading and commenting.
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There's nothing that can make it better in my mind. you said your lines very well and made sure that the rhyming didnt sound forced. it flows like a river because its so smooth!!! great job!! im glad i participated in on this group im!!!
emily -
Holy! This is one of your best!! I absolutly love it! OMG! OMG! The rhyming was perfect and I also love how you based it off of MCR. It reminds me of a book I read called "The Wish List". A girl is killed but she can't go into Heaven or Hell becuase she hasn't done enough good or bad deeds. The devil sends out the person who killed her to bring her into hell so he can use her for his own purposes, but Heaven is doing the same thing. I CAN'T GET OVER HOW FREAKIN AWSOME THIS POEM IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Thanks so much for reading!
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Thank you! Glad you liked it.
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Thanks for the comment!
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I love how you used the speech here, awesome concept and story.
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Awesome
This is awesome! Your rhyming and flow were great, and not too mention the entire story in the piece. Probably one of the best that I've read in the past week or so. Really great job, I loved reading it! (P.S. I loved the twist at the end - it was certainly surprising, and had its irony!)
~Nikki -
I liked very much
"The last sound love makes is the sound of a heartbreak."-I knew where you were going but it was cool the way you got me there. This was well written and kept me reading until the end.
Much Love -
Thank you so much! Yay!
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Poetry, like music can be abstract and pretty...which is nice, it allows you to interpret things in your own minds eye. The big kid in me however loves a good bedtime story and what a wonderfully wicked tale you have woven. Absolutly sublime
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Thank you! Thank you soooo much!
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omg wow...just...wow!That is awesome. So very good and sad and awesome and EVERYTHING! I am SPEECHLESS! I really liked it. Phenomenal. ^_^
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Thank You!
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Wow! Thank you so much!
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*rose* Standing ovation *rose*
OMG! This was so wonderful...the whole thing. I loved it! It's tragic for sure. You did such a wonderful job on this. At first I thought it would be so cliche' but I kept reading it and it turned out to be the best poem I have read in quite sometime! I'm proud of ya!
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