Golden rays of lightened spirit
And colors of serenity;
With branches scarred by wrath
And by natures obscenity.
Brightly colored foliage
With many twisted veins;
They're falling to destruction
And their fellow kinds remains.
Laying in the sunlight,
Bright yet still diffused,
Gazing at their mother
And her sisters all abused.
The vivid and stunning twilight
Gleaming through the trees,
Is lighting up the background
And the wafting leaves.
It embraces every wound
And caresses all the slain;
Warming and renewing
Much like the blessed rain.
Now as one seems on fire
And the others watch it burn,
The wind whips through the hollow
And their deceased start to churn.
Soon they're flying through the air
Within a small cyclone,
And there they swirl underfoot
All still quite unknown.
Author notes
Image found on google search.
In a list
A contest entry
- II Pre-writes by Lj-.
345 points, ended December 28, 2006, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Autumn Poetry Contest by FloridaGatorQueen.
525 points, ended September 30, 39 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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This is very beautifully written. I just loved the imagery. I like it when the different colored leaves swirl. I enjoyed the read!!! Thank you for entering my contest
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Excellent write. Unfortunately, I just added the rule that entries may not have won trophies in another contest. I'm sorry!!
Thanks for sharing this, though, and thank you for checking out my contest. Best wishes to you. Take care.
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Gold? Where is your gold trophy?
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The actual trophy is on my authors page. It's not on the poem page because I removed the poem from the contest after it was over so I could enter it in other contests; some people don't allow you to enter if your poem is in another contest. But I did win gold for it. If you were to read the comments you would see people congradulating me as well as one by me thanking them for my first gold. So I'm sorry if I was an inconvenience or something. I hope your contest goes well. Best Wishes,
Lady Lilly
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Thank you for including your image of inspiration, it was really beautiful, much like this poem!
You did a terrific job on the rhyming. I really liked:
"The vivid and stunning twilight
Gleaming through the trees,
Is lighting up the background
And the wafting leaves,"
And:
"All still quite unknown."
Thanks for entering my contest!
Good luck. -
U def are an artist, I didnt even look at the pic link. I saw it perfectly. Congrats on ur first gold.
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its written nicely. i like the pic too, very lovely. thank u
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Deep
Even without the picture, I could envision it clearly, I'm sure. Lovely write. Very deep, very intriquing... loved the rhyming, it didn't seem forced and I particularly enjoyed your choice of words.
I much enjoyed this bit:
"It embraces every wound
And caresses all the slain;
Warming and renewing
Much like the blessed rain."
Very nicely done.
Best of luck in the contest. Judging will take place very soon. (Sorry it's taken me a while, I've been sick lately.)
Love always,
Mended -
Thank You!
Thank You!
I'm so excited cause this is ny first gold!!!! This is so cool I think I'll do my happy dance!!! *wiggles hips and does the running man* 
Thank you again for the congradulations!
Blessed Be
~Lilly~
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Merry meet,
Congratulations on winning the Gold. There were some really good poetry in this contest. I'm not sure what bandaged meant in their comment but I thought that you painted an intresting and wonder picture about autumn. I always love those leaf devils (what we called them when I was young those many years ago in Kansas.
) I thought your word choices were wonderful. I don't see any problems with form or punctuation or really anything else for that matter. Congratulations again on your win.
Amythest -
Actually, my dear, I am showing. I am painting a picture with my words. I wrote this so that readers could see the leaves with their veins wafting down to the ground. I never claimed I was the perfect poet in my contest or in any of my comments and if I felt that this comment of yours was from anything but the spite of the insecure I wouldn't mind it one bit; but leaving nasty comments on my poetry because you have perceived some non-existant insult is quite juvenile. ~Lilly~
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And by natures obscenity - And by nature's obscenity, obscenety is belonging to nature here etc.
Brightly colored foliage
With many twisted veins;
They're falling to destruction
you are telling here not showing.
please don't come in my poetry quoting what you have heard others say in other people's poetry when you haven't a clue yourself! -
how i will miss the summer...
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Hmmm... This is a vivid, meaningful poem about autumn and death. You make the readers think deeper - I like that. And you imply some poignant images:
It embraces every wound
And caresses all the slain;
Warming and renewing
Much like the blessed rain.
Beautiful. Thank you for entering.
melanie -
WHOA! I now know my vote... and by that, I think I say a lot.
Adding your comment:
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