I am the key to the door,
Opening up the home.
You are the well-read novel,
Opening up the heart.
I lock people in tight,
Keeping them safe from harm.
You bring them safely in,
Keeping them in their easy chair.
I am lost easily,
Quickly replaced by a spare.
You are placed carefully,
Quickly found in a moment.
I can lock one out,
As easily as I can let them in.
You can draw one in,
As though magnetized.
I am the key to the door,
Opening up the home.
You are the well-read novel,
Opening up the heart.
Author notes
I'm not sure if I did this right, but I loved the idea of this contest, and decided to take a stab at it. I would love for the great and learned judge, KissTheSky, to tell me if I was successful in the attempt. (and I swear the previous comments were not an attempt to butter you up)
Written September 2nd, 2006
A contest entry
- I am and you are by andsparksflyup.
500 points, ended September 6, 2006, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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A lovely poem. I really enjoyed this one, it was very interesting and deep
Shook some cobwebs from the ol' brain
Well done
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Thanks for catching that, I don't know how that slipped in there.
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This is very interesting...
Although this line seemed a bit off...
"You bring draw them in"
Other than that - tis a very unique style and with a sweet sentiment...
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I liked the way they were opposite of eachother in a way, yet they were like the same in another... It was rather good. Good work!
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opinionated, yes, great and learned, I'm not so sure, but I suppose I can at least make myself sound convincing.
well SPAMkid, as far as your attempt, number one: bravo for the mere fact of attempting. that says something right there about being willing to risk enough to try.
as far as the actual writing, I really liked the way you kept the number of analogies to a minimum and the skillful way you chose to link them together. your "flow" was very strong.
in a more critical sense, I felt the way you chose to elaborate and support your initial analogies was a little juvenille. kind of like saying "you are a book because people read you well" rather than the more sophisticated "you are a book because your meanings and phrases are carefully picked apart like popular fiction"
a confusing differentiation, yes, and unfortunately being able to write and tell the difference just comes in some unexplanable way. nevertheless, you grasped the concept of the contest very well and (not that it means much coming from a stranger, but) I am very proud of you for your willingness to try.
keep up the writing and best of luck to you,
KissTheSky
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