The devil he inspired,
every word I spell
emotions laid out raw
to tell the world my hell
dealing dope for paper
when I was just a teen
it's hard to comprehend
these crazy things I've seen
this worlds like Stevie wonder
most are fucking blind
the world won't see my streets
to afraid of what they'll find
from the thugs upon the street
to the drugs mixed up in violence
to the blood that stains the paths
and the people took in silence
you see my brother died of drugs
but not the dope he sold
the doctor gave him his
God, that was fucking cold
my life's so fucking dark
my shadow ran away
I beg the lord to hear
the sinful things I say
I feel like I'm a ghost writer
the one who goes unseen
and the nightmares of my past
was some crazy fucked up dream
Author notes
Written September 1st, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I empathise! That's all I want to say. Maybe it's too real for me.
Peace Georgia
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Amazing write my friend from start to fins and you could not of said truer words.
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The title instantly reminded me of a poem I wrote called, "Love's An Illusion."
I would change the "these" in this sentence to "the," "these crazy things I've seen."
I'm seeing a lack of punctuation also, and though that seems to be a personal preference now in poetry, it personally puts me off when I read a poem.... but it's nothing big...
Third stanza, "the world's like Stevie Wonder." I think this line is great, it's original and powerful!
"you see my brother died of drugs
but not the dope he sold
the doctor gave him his
God, that was fucking cold" <A powerful stanza!!! A euthenasia reference, no doubt... I find it inspiring to see someone writing about this in a negative light. Props for you!
And your two last stanzas are no let down, the "even my shadow ran away" and ghost writer reference pack a punch. Keep it up. -
Hi it packs a punch straight to the gut, I don't think the swear words are nessesary as it is strong enough without them, it must have been hard to sit down face to face with the truth and you did a good job, all the best after this your only direction is up so all the best, Di
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this is really great....it's really deep and sends out a strong message....it's a great poem, i really enjoyed it....have a great day and peace....:]
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listen and act......do omething anything but
while i was reading this i kept thinking wowo have you nailed this on the head or not...people are blind and wont listen cos if i dont see the care it wont hit me and if i dont hear i can play dumb....brilliantly penned as you do paul people have to listen not for us but for the kids damn the world is in a fucking mess now it has to stop somewhere....keep those words flowing
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Thought provoking, Imaginative, and I loved your creative imagery. Your carefully chosen words painted a picture as I read your poetic work of art. This poem has a nice natural gentle flow. I defiantly wasn't expecting all of the stuff between the first line and the ending statement. Your wording was excellent.
Great revelation, and a very good poem. I am glad I read it. thanks for sharing. Keep up the great work. Best of wishes to you. good luck in all that you do....peace always in all ways.
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