Somewhere from deep within
my deepest conciousness
I remember, I remember
The sweet smell of you
Your softness and warmth
As you held me close
to your breast.
and later as I toddled,
you anxiously watching,
always present to catch me, if I fell
I remember, I remember,
grazing knees, falling off trees,
scuffling with friends and you,
my guardian angel always there;
with a band aid, a hug, a kiss,
a cookie and a glass of milk,
then ruffling my hair with a smile.
I remember, I remember
Holidays by the sea,
climbing mountains,
the camping trips, and
fishing with dad.
Bonfires, ghost stories and
the smell of marshmallows
roasting in the air
I remember, I remember
Christmas, and Easter
Thanksgiving, Halloween;
Family around tables piled high,
presents, joy, gentle teasing
laughter ringing in the air
I remember, I remember
you tucking me in every night,
bedtime stories of fabulous places
elves witches gnomes and fairies,
my torn old blankie clutched to my chest,
while from the corner smiled wisely,
Goofy my dear teddy bear.
I remember, I remember
Ruff, dear Ruff
Was there ever such a dog!
Always loving, always frisky,
Always ready for a game.
Ruff poor, poor old Ruff,
blind in one eye,
the parting, the pain,
the final good bye.
I remember, I remember
Janey, oh sweet Janey
from the white house
across the road
playing as kids, then growing up
shy smiles, soft kisses
her love always a steady flame.
I remember, I remember
your tender glance,
the cake, the twenty candles,
the day before I left,
then as we said our good byes
pride vying with tears in your eyes
as you beheld me in my uniform,
the bye, the wave, then suddenly you running,
to envelop me in a close embrace.
How close, how close, mother you held me,
giving me all your love, your strength,
a hug with a thousand blessings,
the last of a million hugs.
Oh how I wish for a million more
Alas, Alas for it is not to be
For now the time has come
Three days the sand has clawed
like a wild animal trapped in my throat
while all around the harsh unforgiving desert
unleashed its relentless fury
this day dawned dark and gloomy
like a promise of the end
the promise is fulfilled, a snipers bullet
is lodged firmly in my chest
life ebbs now as blood flows
my blood, your blood
flowing upon the blood red sand
no more soft breast or lap to lie on
no more soft words or tender caress
no antiseptics or ointments
no bandages or pads
but harsh coarse sand ruthlessly pressing
into wound, skin, bone. and flesh
as I lie here alone, far from home
a dying stranger in a strange land
your love, your toil, all that you gave me
your milk, your blood, your sweat, your tears,
your hopes, your dreams, all that we planned
now mingling with the cold red sand
a last breath left oh wind carry it far
Ccrry it please to my mama
A last soft kiss, a tender caress
A last word breathed
The word Goodbye!
Author notes
This poem was written somewhere in the end of March 2003. I live in Kuwait the war was too close and watching the troops on TV drive into Iraq watching them on the news each day, it was all very traumatising, I guess i wrote this to make some sense of the loss.
Written April 17th, 2003
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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Very moving. It drives home the pointlessness of war. Sacrificed for nothing. The memories of growing up made the poem stronger. Drew the reader in, but we anticipated tragedy.
People who are blind to the truth can not or will not open their eyes. Bush hypnotized the majority in the US with lies. Many do see, but unfortunately, not enough. He convinced the religious to take an unreligious stand and feel righteous. Hopefully, it will be better as time passes than it was before.
Andy -
this is a sad but seriouly taken poem. this is how it would feel if i was on my last few dying moments. i would remember all of these things and more. you did well. congradulations... i will make my decision based on your poem.. thank you again for entering my contest
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What a wonderful piece this is Pari. Tears rolled down my face as I read this piece. You have lead such an interesting and yet difficult life. I can see now how you would be so active in wanting a group named "peace chain". Keep up the great work.
Cheryl -
this is heart wrenchingly sad...as a mother, it makes me think of my daughter...this kind of relationship is probably the most important one ever. you did an amzaing job with expressing the emotions involved...I know she is still around in spirit...and loves you wherever you are.
best wishes..
~ Lea -
this poem is the best poem in the whole in tire world i wish you will write more poems like this one im going to make it my second favorite poem in the whole world you are going to win first place if you dont you better enter my contest that im going to make shortly great poem i loved it
Brandon -
very nicely written piece, you used a very eloquent vocab without sounding like you have a phd, i liked the repetition of the phrase "i remember i remember" although it seemed to have vanished in the last stanza? also, that stanza was rather longer than the rest of the poem, which i havent counted but seemed to fit together.. this was definately a powerful piece, and i think the ending was pretty good, but certainly not deserving of the excellent piece you wrote, it is an insult to your talent to leave it there in my opinion... but, it is your poem
nice job on this
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The memories expressed brought joy, a happiness to my heart, for I dont have those kind of memories growing up and I was spun into this world of images of memories that are not mine. I could see clearly, love and compassion, a mother, a daughter, special moments and most of all, I could feel heartbreak at the sight of that uniform.
I'm not sure how I feel about war, about our children leaving us to serve a purpose that is said to be selfish, or is it self-preservation for us all? I could not imagine my own child leaving me in this way.
And then it stopped. My heart skipped a beat as I read the end, how unfair. I cant imagine anyone ever having to feel this.. to die alone, though I know it happens, more than we know, more than we acknowledge.
Thank you for this brilliantly crafted write. You have captured my heart and caused an ache, for the daugther lost and for the mother who has lost a child.
~tear~
With love,
Criss -
this made me cry. that is not all that easy to do but you managed it with this amazing story/poem. the tone, the flow carried me on and on and i was so into it by the time the end came that i found i was crying. images that played in my mind so clearly.
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A good poem, I liked it a lot I liked the way this lulls in the reader into a happy time and then it becomes so sad towards the end, but it's still well-written as are all your poems A beautiful, but sad, read. Keep on writing
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Thank you for all the comments, your critiques have been highly insightful. They reveal an amzing person in you as do your poems too and thanks for those words
"Keep inspiring, I believe it is your destiny"
I hope it is and I hope I can live up to it.
Thanks once again -
amazingly insightful, vivid truth
Hey I'm sad enough coping with my mother's imminent death. This ripped my heart out and actually made me sob. How remarkably well you portrayed a childhood. I often think of the grieving families left behind by our soldiers, but I have never dared to contemplate the feelings of the soldiers themselves. Perhaps I'm too weak to venture there. Oh God, how aweful for them, to die so far from home away from those they love. Thanks now I will grieve ten fold. You are an amazing talent. It is as if you penetrate each issue and see it in its rawest form. I admire your work so much. Your heart pours into your words, what a unique special person you are. A rare asset to this trouble world we exist in. Keep inspiring, I believe it is your destiny. 
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This is really amazing Pari. It captures shat I believe so many of the boys go through. I work with a woman who lost her son this spring. he dies in a car bombing in Bagdhad. He was a young man of 20 and in his belongings were several letters to her that he had yet to send. he usually sent several together because mail flow was not regular. they are the last words she has of his and they say much the same. He missed her. how sad though that it takes this seperation for children to realize what their parents have meant to them. We take much for granted until it is taken away. i hope all that read this take a closer look at what they have and maybe tell someone they love them before it is too late.
your words are amazing Pari and yes your perspective is not the one I thought you would have taken.
God Bless,
Susan -
Sounds like an assignment I once had for class. Beautifuly written, and that last stanza is riveting.
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Its a great poem but for me it is a little long - that is not meant as a critizem - more a reflection on my own powers of focous and consentration. . .
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I agree with Pamela..WoW. The last stanza grabs one by the shirt collar and gives one a good smack in the gob. It's bold, brilliant and so tenderly written. The harsh horrible reality is tempered so beautifully with the tender love and unbreakable bonds of Mother and Son. Good stuff, this!! x Tilly
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Wow! This was so very touching..beautifully written..
I'm in awe of this write!
Excellent work..BRAVO!
Much Love & peace
~Pamela -
You grabbed my by the heart, wrung it out and put it back. An Exceptional poem, trbute, story call it what you will. It was descriptive, heartfelt and made me so grateful that my own son is safe and well.
You have done a wonderful job with this as some of them comments above confirm.
~Von~ -
As a Vietnam Vet, I am very impressed and taken by this highly charged poem. Feels very accurate and no doubt, has actually occured often. Well presented and a wonderful lead into the final lines.
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I'm completely with Thathom on this one. Integrity is right. Again, I'm impressed by the solidity of your work. This is a very communicative poem that presents the whole idea of home memories with a throw of the net that is bound to catch most of us in it.
The subject matter is very well thought out.
The last stanza took me completely by surprise (partly because I'm tired and I kindof missed the point of the uniformed parting), it's tone - abstract at times, and with a tumbling intensity - so necessarily different to the calm warmth of the rest of the poem.
As with anything so dramatic, one of the strongest impressions is the physical. The image of the stranded soldier, so young and with almost tortured time to think of his past life is a moving one.
This is a very topical poem considering the times.
Sober but delivered straight up.
Edited on May 30, 3:27 because ''. -
Glad you advised this as a read
Really enjoyed it. A story within it too, quite rare lately with poems. People seem to just ramble words of being sad or happy.. with no real purpose.
This has a purpose and integrity and I thought it was truly amazing Really good poem
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Touching. I'm not sure there's more to say.
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beatiful sad it brought a tear to my eye
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Excellent
Beautifully described. Grabbed my heart. Excellent job! Such a sweet fun loving beginning with such a sad ending.. We will never forget those who serve our country. Thanks for sharing such deep personal thoughts. -
oh crikey, goosbumos galour here, the ending to this was so damn haunting this is such a tragic but beautiful tale you told here, you held my attention from beginging to end. Well done.
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And you thought mine was good I think you have done a excellent job here . I enjoy this so very much thank for shareing.
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Excellent
A compelling read my Dear ...
You related this sad tale oh so well ...
Imagery and emotions to the fore ... beautifully described.
Thank you for sharing with us all your beautiful inner thoughts.
Take every care,
Sammy.
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excellent
This is gorgeous, reminisant and a wonderful tribute to one held dear.
So many dont take the time to appreciate those we have in our lives and express to them how we feel, and when it is too late we are left feeling so much more than loss.
The love flows through your words and it is a wonderful piece to read.
thank you for the pleasure
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guilty
if i didnt know what it was like i wouldnt be able to say what i am about to say, most soldiers fear this, however we over come it so that we can do what is neccassary, what we feel is right, if we didnt over come it we wouldve gone AWOL. myself im only here due to injury, and surgry and i miss my brothers that are over there fighting on without me. one lone soldier without his brothers. sad but true, and as long as there are people like you who care we will be there. i read a poem and it was for people that care about soldiers and i want you to remember this line. i am a soldier and its me whos got your back........ great write hun..... -
OMG this one totally grabbed my heart and squeezed it. I am seriously in tears after I read this. This reminded me of all those wonderful things with my own sons.
Beautifully expressed!
Red
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