A melting moon shines tonight
As the wind sings it's delight.
And while the deep, gentle lake
Slowly rocks inside it's wake,
I inhale the rose's scent
Even as I now repent
For curing my own torment.
As the thorn enters my wrist
And I feel the flesh resist
The heavens begin to cry
While my soul tries to deny.
Now, as my blood is dripping
I feel my spirit slipping
And reality ripping.
And as the rain falls to me
My heart struggles to be free;
For while my mind starts to stray
I hear angels start to pray.
While the weeping willows weep
And the cold begins to creep
I feel myself drift to sleep.
Author notes
I'm feeling a little suicidal right now. This is my version of the Alliterisen form by The Risen Sun.
Written August 31st, 2006
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Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Wow
Very descriptive and great job on writing this. I can see how that suicidal mood caused you to write this. I have times like that too...lately it's been writing about how I hate my mother and miss my sibs.
Great job and best of luck to you.
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Great detail and descriptions- I'm sorry I couldn't judge this contest.
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I liked it all, your as deep as the Grand Canyon.
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Two thumbs up
This is a great write. I really like it. Good luck in my contest. -
this is a beautiful poem. the idea of the roses thorns cutting you was a delicate way of writing suicide. its an amazing poem. good luck in the contest and keep writing
Thankyou For Entering -
wow thats a beautiful poem i love it applause and i loved the flow and everythins so anyway lots of luk in this gr8 contest
vanyel -
Wow, this is so good. I am feeling this same way right now. Great expression of feeling and emotion. Well done. Best of luck in the contest. Jeannie
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a serenity painted death.
there is a grotesque beauty to it all,but i suppose that is just me and my own thoughts.
i think i shall come back again to read a few more of your writtings. -
Thanks
Thank you! I'm glad you liked the poem and if you ever want to talk my yahoo messenger is TwistedBloodyLilly just like here. Thanks again. ~Lilly~ -
Thanks
Thank you sweetheart. I am a cutter but I write about suicide so I won't actually do it; it helps me work out these feelings. Thank you for your concern and I'm quite happy you enjoyed the poem. Thank you again. ~Lilly~ -
wow i love this and i need a sis so u mostlikey have a spot! thanks
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wow. just stumbled upon this piece .. the title drew me in. a lovely, melancholy poem. imagery quite graphic and flow/rhythm is great.
it maybe not my place to say, but my conscience demands it -- i do hope you take measures to keep yourself from harm ...
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