Darkness weighs on me
with heavy breath he delivers
his list of
what if's...
i try to dream him away
but his presence finds me
even there
leaking sorrow,
dripping nightmare
I seek to deny him
but slowly he seeps
out my pores
like morbid ink spilling over
all my lies
sins of yesterday and tomorrow
twirling, swirling
whispering
darling you'll never escape
He is claiming me
He is claiming me
again
Author notes
Something dark. This is about my ongoing struggle with depression. It's like it fights to stay there and is only masked sometimes by my handy dandy anti depressants. Wating, just under the surface, for me to miss a day. Like I did today. Can ya tell? LOL
Written August 30th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- ~Lonely? All alone? By yourself? (You're not alone)~ by schrodinger2011.
300 points, ended September 21, 2006, 19 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark and Depressing...Please enter by XHollowXEyesX.
700 points, ended April 6, 2007, 119 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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sins of yesterday and tomorrow
twirling, swirling
whispering
darling you'll never escape
He is claiming me
He is claiming me
again
I really like those lines, i think it was a wonderful flow, and had good impact for a very conclusive ending, good luck in the contest i clicked this from (lol)! may you be granted gold -
this was a great write and i can totally relate to all that you are saying and feeling in this poem..your words were strong, powerful and emotional as well..keep writting your very talented and good luck in the contest
~Chrissy~ -
wow... I am speechless. this is such a powerful write, the impact it has on me is incredible. awesome flow ans use of vocabulary, so simple yet so much meaning and depth.
absolutley loved it.
thanks for entering and goodluck
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good
hey i liked the rhyming and the meaning behind it to
gongrats keep going -
I like the poems about darkness , because the human are so weak at that time, cuz he can't see the things that might hurt him, but then again remember there is no imortal darkness, there will be Sun after the darkness, it is nice poem , but hopfuly you will leave the dark days behind and listen to Cilen Dion when she sings(NEW DAY HAS COME) , and hopful I can be the light for you.
but I still like that you showing how bad is the darkness
I love you -
Great poem. Sad yet like you said, morbid. It was a little short, but that's okay. Some short poetry is actually pretty good. I love the last three lines. Best part in the poem. I had and still have battles with my depression. It's off and on. I rely on my poetry help me out. I think it's better to write about things than actually doing it. I wish you luck!
♥
Vermillion -
I can so relate to this write. Wow I know how you feel and it is not a great feeling. I could feel the despair in your write. the flow was excellent. Good luck in the contest
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This was a neat way to oragnize a poem. Great write!
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Wow, I am amazed. I have tried to describe depression to other people who have never had it and never been able to make them understand. Mayhaps I will have to tell them to call you from now on. This is great.
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"i try to dream him away
but his presence finds me
even there
leaking sorrow,
dripping nightmare"
You know one of the best things about poetry is that even if a stanza is kinda blah two lines can make it incredible. And those last two lines made that stanza incredible. And the flow! GOD! I did not see that coming. I liked all the rest of the stanzas though that's why I didn't quote them. < 3
Anyways, the entire poem is excellent. It gives you a sort of angsty dreamy feel and then kind of a heavy weight as you read because of the VERY nice flow and the subject matter that so many of us can relate to. Great job! And good luck in the contest! < 3 -
i like how you've lain this poem out. it works really well
there are so many of us who understand depression, who live with it every day, who fight the beast yet look normal to the rest of the world. we know where you are coming from
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Can't escape Darkness' weight. Haevy poem. I could feel the darkness descend and though I finally wrote an uplifting poem, it calls me back to my comfort Zone. Wonderful job. faeryPixieFey.
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This is a fantastic piece of writing. So understandable for those of us who have been there. It eats away at who you are, controls every thought, feeling, action until it feels like it has completely taken over your life and leaves you feeling like everything is falling down round you. I've been there so can relate totally. But this is a great piece of writing, with powerful imagery that holds the reader the whole way through the poem. I only hope that you stay strong and get on with your life. Love Claire
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GR8! =]
You've done an EXCELLENT job! Best Of Luck in the contest!! You might get a SHINING GOLD TROPHY! GOD bless u wid alot of LOVE!
**$h@/\/\z**
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So very relatable. Hell, I don't even have to miss a day of anti-depressants for the darkness to come haunting me again. As I've written in one of my poems "making my life no longer mine." Most of my poetry is dark, as the darkness is where I spend the majority of my time so says my author's page. I hate the darkness with such intensity it cannot be explained. Yet I'm sure you can understand, as you probably feel the same way. When will the madness end? Soon, I hope. I know I haven't the strength to endure much more of this. I could go on and on, especially since last week was one of my darkest moments yet, but I'll stop here, and thank you for sharing yourself and your work. Don't give up.
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Per you authors notes.Yep! But the thing to remember ,is tomorrow is a brand new day.Not at all the same.And filled with surprises if your there to see them.It's never exactly as we think it will be.Sometimes much better.~~Suseann This was a piece I too can relate to,and descriptive.
Edited on Aug 31 because ''. -
Thank you PerfectImperfection, I am really glad you liked it. Great contest too!
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This is good. Not only good - this is great... Most of what I write is personal, alot of it is sad... You have given words to a feeling that is so unexplainable,
...so painful
...so unbearable.
A face to the emptiness that can flood your world; if only in an instant. I really enjoyed this, more than i can say. Thanks so much for entering!
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I like this. And the way you put your words together. I loved the idea of "Darkness weighs on me" Great job! Reminds me of two of my poems with Miss Murder in the title. I wrote them as if my depression were a person. Anyway you did a great job expressing your self too. Keep it up and good luck in the contest.
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