Can my art, ever questions finding,
Bring you forth into daylight, calling
From night shade with its shadows’ binding,
Where somnolence from stars is falling?
Please say, my love, what are you thinking?
What far stars are those pale eyes seeing
While I, from beauty’s chalice drinking,
Sit meditating on your being?
Perhaps it’s love shall be your guiding,
Or else some buoy, with urgent ringing,
Set your fair galley safely gliding
Away from all the siren-singing.
You have such eyes as lead to sighing,
And lips which could force mine to lying!
Author notes
I wrote this as an exercise, having looked at and admired the sketch by J W Waterhouse. I took an English sonnet, reduced the syllable-per-line count to nine, and finished each line with an "-ing" word. Each line does start off in iambs, so take the second syllable as being stressed throughout. It makes it a little tricky to read aloud, but the effect is what I wanted.
Written August 30th, 2006
In a list
- Sonnets, sonnets, and more bloody sonnets • next in list
- Published works • next in list
- Inspired by the paintings of J W Waterhouse • next in list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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The more I'm reading about this form, and seeing some stellar examples, the more I'm falling wholeheartedly in the "want to try this for myself" camp. It seems from reading this aloud, to give the sonnet form a softer and gentler sound, and makes for fun and thoroughly enjoyable reading. Thumbs up for creating this form, and I would sure love to learn this style from you.
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If you try it, please send me a link. I would love to see it.
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very interesting to see the original Marshalline sonnet as I enjoyed the article -- still haven't gotten around to trying to tackle this but it's in the back of my mind. A lovely ekphrastic piece here for this tender sketch which I have never seen before. I look forward to seeing something from you again in one of my contests. Thanks.
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I actually prefer this sketch to the finished painting. Thanks for your kind comments.
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I did not notice that all the lines ended in 'ing' until I read your notes. 9 syllables is interesting. This is nice, a good change from regular sonnets.
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I just needed that freedom. You'll notice that the "ing" endings have't stopped several lines running on from each other. Thanks for the visit and applause.
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Thank you Tirell.
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Beautiful Cosmic Fabric:)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I like this form you have created here, your gothic version though seems more like a scottish canzonette though for it's meloncholly nature... well done! -
Thanks Jordi
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I love the gentle rhythm set by the first stanza
Great job!
-Jordi -
Many thanks for the appreciation.
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This poem has a lovely flow. It also goes well with the picture (which isn't always the case, sadly).
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No comment.
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Laugh and I wet everywhere else... lapoe..
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Yes I know his paintings quite well. The Lady.... is very famous. I am so glad you like this one.
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This is once more an elegant bunch of grace and living proof of your wonderous feeling for words...I like John william Waterhouse, too. Have you ever seen "The Lady of Shalott" by him? Or "My sweet rose" or "The shrine"? Best wishes for your next piece! Lily
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Well, Melodies, my sweet - that was as it should have been!
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The form was not what I saw..I only saw this beautiful woman through your eyes and it was a sweet experience. You drew me in, completely!
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{slapping a smile on your face} Smile and the world smiles with you - cry and you wet your blouse!
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Mairi,your words are a sketched design, shadows and lines of a masterpiece.. I never know quite what to say, think or feel
after I read you... I'm always left in awe... so shut me
up and slap a on my face... lapoe
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A new form? I thought I was merely messing about, setting myself a task as an exercise. If it's a new form, write a few in it for me, Michael. If anyone can you can! And by the way, thank you.
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I had to read it twice to get the hang of it, but very nicely done. I had some trouble with the first line until I figured it out. Congrats on being the 47th thousand person to come up with a new form on AP. (She was one of Waterhouse's favorite models I believe.)
Edited on Aug 30, 10:48 because 'addition'.
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