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Snow White's Crime

Missing image
The old witch came at Snow White's request, a blood red apple in her hand.
For it was Snow White that did suggest, this crime so gruesome and grand.

Good friends hugged for the last time, before Snow White took the apple.
Just as the bell tolled its midday chime, from the town's small chapel.

Bringing the fruit to her red stained lips, a slight smile wavering there.
Her hand on the table in a firm grip, beautiful eyes filled with despair.

Teeth sinking deep into the tender fruit, the poison spilling out.
Snow White fulfilling her deadly pursuit, life gone without a doubt.

The old witch came at Snow White's request, a blood red apple in her hand.
For it was Snow White that did suggest, this crime so gruesome and grand.

Author notes

Written August 29th, 2006
Option 5

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 29 of 29

  • Rinoasis
    December 2, 2007
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    I like this one. It's grimm & about Snow White!<33 Good job! Will definitely read your other poems.


  • Beating gold member
    August 31, 2007
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    "Teeth sinking deep into the tender fruit, the poison spilling out.
    Snow White fulfilling her deadly pursuit, life gone without a doubt."
    I really like those lines, and the repeated part. I guess this appeals to me more than others?? haha joke!
    Good imagery! Great job!


  • Heartless Angel
    August 20, 2007

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    amazing as always

    wow. Suididal snow white. I like. This is as good as the others and the rhyme scheme matched to boot. I like how Snow white smirks a little as she bites the poisoned apple and it was truly the poem, not the picture which allowed me to picture it in my head. Wonderful job again. amazing as usual.

    Sincerely,
    Lillian Madeline


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    August 12, 2007

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    wow this was dark and powerful and i loved the story it was just different and twisted exactly what i wanted
    well done


  • Lyrical Nonsense
    August 11, 2007

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    Well written.... interesting.... Not sure if I understand why Snow White wanted to die..... have to think about it....

  • Diatribes
    May 31, 2007

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    This story part of the story always reminds me of Eve and the serpent.
    Though there aren't really any similarities beyond a beautiful girl and a temptous villian.


  • Sahlili20
    March 26, 2007
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    this is an interesting write!
    Thank you for entering my contest!


  • The White Rabbit
    January 24, 2007

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    nicrr porm. I love the idea behind it. I love twisted fairytales. if you ever feel like it, could you write one about alice in wondeland?? I've always wanted to hear it told in a diffrent way, thought the story is already pretty twisted there is always room fofr more twisted tales in the world with lvoe and giggles, the white rabbit

    PS i like that picturee alo


  • Twilight Moon
    January 3, 2007
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    reall good

    great twist to a classic story..it was real good


  • angelfruitcake
    January 1, 2007

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    I love it, I absolutely think that picture is so beatiful. Besides writing I want to be a photographer. And that is a very gorgeous picture. And it went great with your poem. It was so intriging. Most people find snow white innocent, oh no but u changed that view that people have on her. This poem is to die for. I would love to hear more. I think that maybe you should consider writing ones bout cinderella and bell an sleeping beauty. All of those princesses. TO make people realize that it isn't all peaches and pecans. Life is told at many different aspects. And Yours is rather flattering. Well I guess I better turn in. But for now, keep up your great work, one of the far best writes i have read.


  • starsandmoonshine
    December 14, 2006
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    wow thats very well interpurted
    stars


  • bunnybee
    December 13, 2006
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    Different but yet brillant


  • Winter-Raven
    December 12, 2006
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    Shocked

    Wow this was a great write... The way you presented Snow Whites death... as an act of suicide? A wonderful twist to an interesting tale. This made me smile for some reason. THankyou for participating in my contest. Good luck.


  • stormprincess
    November 28, 2006
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    loved your rhyme and rhythm. nice retell of snow white. very dark. love the background and picture too!


  • BlackNirvana
    November 27, 2006
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    It is the most unique, detailed, and thought out poem I have seen!


  • Angel Full Of Hurt
    September 29, 2006
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    interesting way of looking at snow white and making it a fabulous poem, i never LIKED snow white, it kinda sucked to me but this poem made Snow White a beautiful and more interesting than the story/cartoon..anyway, this is a talented write..keep it up!


  • ApatheticDelusions
    September 21, 2006
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    Well, I am not much of a Snow White fan...but you did a good job with this though, I kept me entertained long enough to read it, which is a real accomplishment. Ussualy I get through the first line and am like "Well, I am bored." Although your great rhyming is what kept me wanting to read more. You are great at finding rhyming words, you make it look so easy.


  • Amaranth Dihdzere
    September 4, 2006
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    Very nice.You got it from the movie snow white eh.Anyway I really liked it.

  • pozo
    August 31, 2006
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    Great piece, I liked the flow. I think the suicidal themes were already present in Snow White (or was it murder?) you just made it better with this. I like this story because it breaks down the idea that Snow White/the Queen were women battling for men (in the classic male-created stereotype) and made them have a more pleasant, if somewhat dark, relationship. Keep writing, I liked your use of rhyme. Great narrative here. I especially liked the cyclic nature of this poem created by the repetition of the first couplet at the end. Does this form have a name or is it just a general rhyming poem?
    All the best
    Pozo
    PS all are just my interpretations


  • Khadidja the Wise
    August 31, 2006
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    I like the twist you gave this poem. However I'm not sure about the flow of it, but I really liked it anyway. I don't think it would go with the content otherwise.


  • tattooedxfairy
    August 31, 2006
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    I really loved this new spin on an old favorite. It flowed beautifully and was great fun to read. Keep up the wonderful work and good luck in the contest.

  • Whiplash
    August 31, 2006
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    Love the wonderful images in the poem and your very descriptive form of writing. I also liked the repetition of the first verse at the end as I think that it finished off the poem wonderfully. Good luck in the contest


  • Firequeen
    August 30, 2006
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    a wonderful write
    very different and yes i agree a wonderful twist
    good luck to you in the contest.
    Keep up the great writting
    Firequeen


  • masterblaster gold member
    August 30, 2006
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    Hi, new twist to an old fairy tale, it was the wicked queen disguised as a crone I believe in the original story who gave snow white the poisoned apple, twisted now into suicide well it is different, lol, all the best in the comp, Di


  • Iohagh
    August 30, 2006
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    Darling Chelsea

    For she whose lips
    kiss her apple's slips
    tart with poison sent
    is a poison rent.

    Smoosh

    Janet


  • Cherie Elise
    August 29, 2006
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    Fantastic

    Wow....i'd have to say one of my favorite so far....i like how you used the disney fairy tale and got it from this picture very well done and good luck
    Cherie


  • MadisonRae
    August 29, 2006
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    classic fairy tales with a modern twist always interest me. So naturally, this was very pleasing (yet depressing) to read. Darker poems always grab my attention better the lighter kind so, this one really made me think about Snow white and all the things i relate to her. How wonderfully written!

    Madison


  • dark raindrop
    August 29, 2006
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    This has really great imagery. Snow White is a classic tale, nicely done in the poem form. I really liked reading this.


  • FaeryPixieFey
    August 29, 2006
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    Admirable Write

    Oh this was sublime, surreal and without a doubt different. FaeryPixieFey.

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