My Fault (Do I Care To Place The Blame?)

I guess that means he did no wrong.
I trusted him.
He unzipped his jeans.
Put my hands in.
That's my fault.
He spoke to me
Telling me what I should do
Told me to trust him
That the last thing he wanted to do
Is hurt me
Told me i had to let him make me happy-
Like I made him.

Let him return the favour.
So he is not in debt.,
I let him talk me into it
Manipulating my mind..

Yes, I am seductive.
Yes, I am a flirt.
It's all my fault that my eyes are a "turn on" for him.
Should I let that force my eyes shut,
So I can no longer see the beauties of the world?
The alcohol in my system trusted him
This is my fault.
Obviously.

It gets too much
I try to pull his hands out
The tears stream down my cheeks
As whimper at him to stop.
This situation is beyond my control..

I scream a hoarse whisper
At him to stop..
Over and over I repeat my words.
He hears not a single letter..
My body shakes
As I have this panic attack.
He tells me I am above fear.
That I must face this fact
And rise above my fear.
I wish he would stop..

But I forget..
This is my fault.
I told him I loved him back.
I felt guilty.
I made the mistake of trusting him.

Only one person understands
What that alcohol let me do..
Releasing my barriers..
Only she knows what that has done to me.

..My past takes its toll..

And I will forever be haunted
By the object of my fears..
That were all my fault.