Inside him he dies away slowly
Inside him he's losing it all bit by bit
Inside him his life begins to fade
The day she decided she is walking away
Inside him there lies his fragile heart
Inside him his fragile heart bleeds
Inside him his blood flows quietly
Quietly flowing out from inside of him
Inside him the deep water is still
Stillness and calm before a storm
A storm to erupt like a dormant volcano
An anguish shrieking only of her name
Inside him time is a stand still
Torturous seconds with no end in sight
Inside him if you listen very closely
You can hear him softly flirting with insanity
Inside him he knows she's gone
Inside him somehow that doesn't make a difference
Inside him now lives an insatiable hole
A black hole vacuuming everything inside of him
Inside him this is it
This is all that's inside of him
Author notes
Option 5, ininaboo
Written August 28th, 2006
A contest entry
- Catch my attention by zciindiiz.
300 points, ended August 29, 2006, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tons of Options... but it's from me, so it'll be different!!! by Corinthians13-4.
456 points, ended January 2, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I sense a lot of feeling in your write (if there wasn't it wouldn't really be poetry, would it?) That just may be a personal best for you. Keep on writing!
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Thanks for reading and commenting. i havent been active in here for a while as i've been busy. and it's always nice to get new comments. i'm a fan of your work and glad that you liked mine.
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For the firs time I choose this poem with no any special reason and I am very satisfied with your used words, especialy with adjectives. Good used pictures and inner feeling are bpoured out the best way. With your repetitions you makes this poem very strong. Readers can feel your pain in all dimensions. Nice done.
~Sonja~ -
thanks. i'm sure it was a tough one to judge with the tons of entries you got. well done and congrats.
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Oh gosh, that is so sad. I hope this never happens to you and it's just something you thought and wrote down, because it's just too sad. I loved the words you used and how you kept repeating "inside him". Great write and good luck in the contest~
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