I will think of you when it rains
When drops sound on the tin roof above
And the scent of the world washed clean
rises from the ground.
I will remember you at sunset
In the feeling of sand beneath my feet
Your smile like luminous seashells
washed in on the tide.
You will be with me in the darkness
When night's infinite stillness surrounds me
The memory of you lights my way
like the stars above.
I will search for you for eternity
And find your image in everything that I am
Although you are lost to me forever, still
I will love.
Author notes
"live in the giant pumpkin"
A contest entry
- Love, Love, Love by Drako Alghastor.
300 points, ended December 15, 2006, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make us cry by WriteOrWrong597.
525 points, ended December 29, 2006, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The best of the best (pre-writes) by buddyboy.
700 points, ended April 19, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show Me Love by TimeAfterTime.
425 points, ended September 8, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - *~*~ Break My Heart *~*~* by Melissa Burns.
475 points, ended November 21, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Wanted: Make Me Think Of Him And Cry. by TangibleTattoos.
1000 points, ended December 15, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Form of Love by Perfectly Imperfect.
450 points, ended January 4, 2008, 31 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Goodbye My Lover by steal-my-scene.
600 points, ended May 23, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me cry....options =] and PW allowed :D by LeilaJayne.
900 points, ended May 17, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - To dwell on you... by Li snuffles.
700 points, ended February 16, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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This is a nice piece. I can see the emotion, or feel it rather. Good word usage. Good luck.
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I really like this piece
Well done and thank you for entering x
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*~*~* Thank you very much *~*~* For entering my contest! I hope you had as much fun entering as I do reading them all
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This is so beatiful and romatic to read. The title was smiple and really cutie for this poem. I loved your begging part of the poem though I think the ending was kind of weak, but still a really great piece. I had a really joy in reading this.
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I think this could be ended better than with what you have. It seems incomplete, and I do not feel that's something you did on purpose. I can see what you wrote at the end could seem as a completion but it doesn't seem that way to me. It reads a tad drawn out.
Perhaps just adding a "you" at the end of the line would suit. It's not as if you're rhyming, so it wouldn't hurt the meter (though there isn't any), and I think it'd end it better.
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Well, this is a beautiful piece of devotion for someone and the love you actually feel for this person. A very pure feeling you are describing here, something we don't come across with that often anymore...
There's something weird going on with the last two lines of first stanza in my opinion:
And the scent of the world washed clean
rises from the ground.
The word 'rises' doesn't seem to connect with the previous lines. Although it's possible that I didn't get it because English isn't my maternal language
If that is the case, then please ignore this little remark
For the rest you have done a wonderful job expressing your feelings!
Leander -
We have probably been writing about love longer than anything else. There is just so much that can be said. You've said it well. I LOVE the sound of rain on a tin roof.
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great
Rememberence of a love it's beautiful. I like "Your smile like luminous seashells washed in on the tide." I remember my husband's smile too. very nice write.
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I really like this piece. It is full of love and the last line is perfect. Thanks for sharing!
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love this write great write on a past love and their memory that was shared. thank you for sharing and posting.
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Hallmark quality
NIce read! Gentle and kind with innocence.
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I love this piece! It's so multifaceted - could be for a lover or a mother or a friend. Great job here!
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Thankyou! This was written about the first (and only so far!)man I ever fell in love with. He passed away about 2 months before I wrote this.
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Amazing! Asolutly beatifull!"I will think of you when it rains, When drops sound on the tin roof above" Wow! geart wording here, you did great. I am sure you will win the contests! I through you a
and blow you a ♥.
Good luck, keep writing, and God bless,
~Amber
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Good poem. Good luck.
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This really touched my heart and soul. I found it to be quite heartfelt and loving with wonderful imagery. A delight to read! Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us! Best wishes
Frog~ -
I found your poem to be very emotional, heartfelt, romantic, and loving. The purity of love pours out from every verse. A very touching poem indeed.
Thanks for posting it, and good luck in the contest.
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I love this one! What a vivid painter you are. I hope those who are judging this contest recognize what a gem you have in this one.
Added you to my favorite list as a fellow kindred spirit who feels the call of the Emerald Isle. Luck to you.
Slainte -
Thankyou so much for your lovely comment! I checked out the lyrics you mentioned - beautiful!
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Truest of Love never really leaves us....I am a firm believer in this
This is very very beautiful!
I can relate and know where this poem stems from
A wonderful heartfelt poem you have entered!!
Thank you for sharing this with all of us!
Jasminerose
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you will always hold onto love, no matter what consequences caused the loss...for once you get the experience of that...it's embedded forever...beautifully written...smile...David
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I really loved this poem for the reason that it was written with beautiful and touching words that anyone who has lost someone, can relate to...It brought a memory back to me, and reminded me that even though people leave us, we still have them close everyday in everything we do, see, and hear...It reminded me of a song that I hold dear "Without you" from the musical "RENT" The lyrics are on my homepage. TY for bringing a smile and touching the heart! Love your poem!
Lynda
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That is so pretty hun.. I love love poems cause they have so much raw emotion in them.. you did an awesome job and i love it...
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Two thumb up
This is wonderful. This is a simple poem, yet you brought it together with style and grace. Good luck in this contest. -
very heart felt!thats the
pain of love painted in
vivid detail that screams
compassion
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