No others dance -
just you and I -
a thousand miles apart,
yet moving
to this same music.
In this moment, imagined,
your head upon my shoulder,
every word is ours,
exists to find new ways
to sing to you;
all music
is the sound
of our two heartbeats
in syncopation
with the moment of our joining.
I can almost feel you, now,
slow dancing in my arms
as the rest of the world
fades to gray.
Author notes
Written August 27th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Write Off The Painting V by Nam.
500 points, ended September 18, 2006, 3 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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"No others dance -
just you and I -
a thousand miles apart,
yet moving
to this same music."
Sighhh...Indeed, that is what the truest Love feels like, isn't it, Scott??? Beautifully portrayed sense of longing & completion, my Friend...Congratulations, Scribe...
Wanda
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CONGRATULATIONS ON WINNIG THE SILVER! Your poem is worth more than GOLD! Brilliant! A deeply moving work!
Much Love ♥
Renee
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Hi Scott.....I always seem to reflect on the straight forward seemingly down to earth expressions you exibit......I did have to refresh on the syncopation unity though.....a word ive not seen used....perhaps even remember.....I do seem to find grandeure in your work though....its always something profoundly done with certain elegance......wonderfully done....
Malabu -
This is exactly how I feel when Ray holds me in his arms during a slow-grind. LOL Oh yes, this is lovely. The best to you in this challenge.
Always ♥
Renee
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stunning this made me shiver so intense and romantic i love the pic and Your write does it justice well done and good luck xx Cheryl
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i can almost feel ur breath upon my neck
i can almost feel ur touch upon my skin
i can almost feel u dipping me
and then i look into ur eyes
our souls intertwined
as we dance in the pale moonlight -
Mmm I love the fading to gray.
It's so very...vague, as far as colors go. Perfect for long distance separation. -
Expressive
Well executed poem. Young love, nothing else exists I especially like the part about the dictionary and the rest of the world fading to gray, emphasizing the point. It is special when two people so far apart can still feel so close. Very talented write.
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A well written piece,good visual of two lovers dancing and getting lost within the music.Liked the syncopation reference to two hearts beating in unity.
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The opening line is the best. It sets the stage.
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i'm sorry i understand now. i meant no harm.
very glad that i did read this time
for i found your poem to be amazingly beautiful.
thanks for making me see what wonderful talent you have. again so sorry.
joyce
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Excellant / fun/romantic
Very nicely done. -
I personally would have said,
"every word is ours-
An entire language.."
I think it sounds far more elegant in its own right. But your use of verbiage did in no way hinder your messege or your talent as a writer. I wish you the best of luck in the contest. -
This is so entirely beautiful. Thank you, my love. I am forever yours.
Saffron
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