the day dawned gray again
(not that i was up to see the dawn,
but what does it matter
when the sun doesn't rise here anymore?)
i sit on my patio,
the gray smoke from my cigarette
rolling up to lose itself in the gray sky.
the ikea plastic folding chair upon which i sit has two broken slats,
and i think about how neither it nor i
support the weight like we're supposed to.
Author notes
yeah, it's cryptic as fuck, but so am i today, "muthafucka" (required contest word)
Written August 27th, 2006
A contest entry
- I've Got 500 Points and an Idea That You Should Write a Poem by EPiCSLEAZE.
500 points, ended September 4, 2006, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Funny, as I read that a commercial with the song "Ain't no sunshine when she's gone" Is playing, how ironic, eh? Interesting piece with apparent fluff and yet... I can see hidden depths within it as well. Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors.
Hetohke'e * 
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN HOODWINKED
; Courtesy of the Poetic Bandits
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thanks, bs
your comment is just about the best compliment i could get, cuz i do love to bite.
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critics give it four stars
Your poetry always has a little bit of bite to the end, that moment of realization and familiarity...I like it here, and I wonder how many of us really DO hold weight like we're supposed to. That ikea chair is a strangely powerful image. Keep writin'. -
thanks, dawn
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thanks, sis as always, your comments are greatly appreciated!
love & hugs,
C~ -
Very informative and well imagery. I so can relate to the feeling of being gray. Wonderfully written..Thank you for sharing. Dawn
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Sis, I think this is powerful stuff because it is cryptic and real when one feels numb and the seemingly inane observations one makes tend to describe the emotions felt very well in this state of being. This is what I expect of you - you have a different way of seeing the world and it translates very well into your writing. I liked the gray of the cigarette losing itself in the gray of the sky and of course the chair with the two broken slats was excellent. Excellent work Sis!!!
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thanks, BxM great contest idea!
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Very very nicely done. I like this a lot! Great job and good luck!
Joey x
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