fast flowing river
shallow bubbleing waters
over rocks and sand
bouncing joyfully
merrily it swirls and flows
carrying secrets
ancient truths once told
to children that cherished her
and played on her shore
showing earths beauty
giving life to everyone
while keeping life strong
passing on wisdom
that will one day spring up life
from seeds of knowledge
wisdom of the earth
carried by the flowing stream
reaches all in time
Renee Chandler
from an old addline
With contributations by
Catz, Bigmammajen, minion and Bella Norte
© December 28, 2005
Author notes
This is an old haiku addline with contributions from those listed above. I like the way it turned out and with great thanks to those who helped with it, I post it as a poem.
The original addline can be found at http://allpoetry.com/addline/show/1704948
Written January 27th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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i cant do one Haiku well, let alone a series of them. This is wonderful, a necklace of fresh water pears shimmering brightly and i was carried along that stream so softly, i forgot i was reading at all. blessings and best wishes, ~richard
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Thank you so much for your wonderful indepth comment, CBminstrel. I agree with you as to what many people write in the name of haiku.... and many times disagree with it being a true haiku.
I love haiku, both reading and writing it, and normally follow the form with each one being a moment in time, a complete thought. I may post some of mine later.
This particular post here is a compilation of a haiku add-line which I did awhile back. Each contribution, by the poets listed at the end of the poem, makes up the whole of this one. With so many different additions, each sort of being a part of the one before, makes it difficult to keep each one seperate as to thought and moment. I don't know if you read the original, the link in my author comment...but that's where this series came from.
Take care and I hope you'll decide to read some of my other posts. I'd love to hear your thoughts on them as well.
ramblin
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I lovely entry :-) Beautiful language, and each haiku worked well in it's section. It's not often I find new haiku's that I like, as I feel we don't do them justice anymore compared to the original haiku's. A haiku should tell it's own mini story in such a few words, that's the challenge and the beauty...and I can't decide if I think it's a shame that you've strayed from that to make a whole poem out of a series of that to tell the story instead of finding the words to do it in a single piece...or if I think it's a brilliant idea to just face the fact it's so difficult for modern haiku's to work as a story anymore as we've long forgotten the double meaning of different parts of nature, and so adapting the form so it can tell that story. Either way, I enjoyed it very much for what it was :-)
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I don't usally like the nature poems but this is very good.
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Awesome!
ancient truths once told
to children that cherished her
and played on her shore
I love that one This was incredible...yes catz is wonderful..my ap granna
Anyway thanks for sharing u did great putting it together!
Kari
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