abandoned
children in times of war
the starving so hungry
for love
desperate to separate
from the pain
but only having
each other
Author notes
By the way, William Carlos Williams wrote the Red Wheelbarrow about innoccence in my opinion but basically it describes the wheelbarrow and some chickens beside it.
Written August 26th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Imagists by Sincerely.
300 points, ended September 5, 2006, 4 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Thank you. That effect was what I was going for in this piece. TO sicken is such a wonderful thing.
Eh, figured I'd try to write something morbid in a different style then my norm. Glad it repulsed you.
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Ah man, what a hard hitting piece this is. I cannot say I enjoyed it because I'd be more deviant than I already am. You wrote it well, so well I am sickened. Yes war is hell, but sometimes so is life.
~*PointLessOne*~ -
This picture was take in Vietnam. I found it very inspiring.. and by the way this was not my normal style of writing. I thought I'd try something new for a contest. Yes, it is metaphorically about society.
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This really does focus around society. No one is caring about our futures or anyone else thats probably about to die right now. Even though this is really short, it made exellent points. Society really is going downhill. Great write!
Yakhana -
Eh, everyone gathers different things from a poem. I guess I read too much into things in high school. I am a free verse poet, so I hope I did get the style right. Thanks for commenting and I am very OC as well. Any suggestions you have are good. Thanks!
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I like what you've started with here--you've got a good feel for the style and know what's going on. I personally would seperate it a bit differently so that the main point of each stanza is a bit more clear but that's just me being OC. (example: The starving/hungry for love) Nice stuff. (the red wheelbarrow is about how important an everyday object is to everyday life. It's literally just a red wheelbarrow and it's purpose.)
Much Love. -
War is hell
the child is 'boxed' in no matter which way he turns, and the oldeer child knows it.
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