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Orange Blossoms

orange trees in bloom
fill the air with sweet perfume
tasty fruit real soon.

Author notes

Written April 15th, 2003

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    January 31

    Edit | Reply
    I have to agree that it is a touch lightweight for a haiku, but judging it simply as a little poem with such-and-such an arrangement of syllables I can see its charm.

    Grammar - hmmm... "real soon" strikes me as vernacular rather than faulty grammar as such, and not something I would pull someone up for, if that were their natural speech. OK it's not my cup of tea either, but I'm going to let it pass.

    I am thoroughly enjoying reading through all the poems in this contest.

  • Vera Rich gold member
    January 26
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering. But although the theme is very much to the point, the piece itself - like most micropoems - fails to grab me. And I cannot help feeling that to resort to faulty gramar to the syllable count of the haiku/senryu form come out correctly is cheating a little.

    But, as i said, thank you for entering..

  • sheshe143
    April 15, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    lovely


  • Sabur Mukhtar
    April 15, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    liKE laDY wiTH noT reAl TAn thE FakE booSomS
    yeS?