The ship has docked in dead of night
It's cargo old and stale
The ship was doomed the very eve
The motley crew set sail
A fog has settled all around
It steals the very air
The stillness of this quiet night
Is broke by someone there
A form emerges from the mist
A tall and slender gent
With blood red eyes and pale white face
From whence this gent was sent?
The ship devoid of all it's crew
All mates were left behind
Save for a chap, a broken man
It seems he's lost his mind
The mindless mate is standing there
Beside her, on the deck
As Mia of the darkest night
Draws life from this mates neck
The form below stands motionless
His blood red eyes aglow
He waits for Mia of the night
Together they will go
~~~
"I've waited for you dearest one"
"I hope you're feeling well"
He touched her face with cold white hands
"There's so much I must tell"
The mindless mate was close at hand
Content to do her will
He knows he must obey her words
He knows his blood she'll spill
A wagon waits out in the fog
Awaiting Mia's box
The mindless mate will load it up
And chain it down with locks
The three of them set off into
The darkness of the night
They venture to her native home
Beneath the pale moonlight
Copyright 2003 By Johnny Wheeler
Author notes
Written April 15th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Dark Poetry II by .
300 points, ended June 12, 2005, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Excellent
Excellent. You manage your poetry well. You are able to write on the same subject and yet keep the subject fresh. Simply wonderful. -
You are captivating me Johnny, Mia the beauty of the night, the goddess of the dark, her power within her as she stands beside a man, one begging to do her bidding.
-
I applaud you and your style. The poems that you submitted and some of the others (I was intrigued to read them after I read these) have there very own vibe and style to them. They're dark, sensual, beautiful, and full of their own life. it's hard to capture all of those things in one work but you have most deffinately mastered the skill. Briliant work. Goog luck in the contest!!
~
alyssa~
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This is very beautiful, Johnny. Your poems about Mia are probably my favorite ones. I love the visions they give and the excellent use of words. I'm going to have to read the rest now :).
Excellent work!
-Kayla
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Mia is a character that could have more stories. I don't think the readers are ready for an ending yet. These just make us hunger for more. They are all fantastic. Very well done.
-Intricate -
Chilling! You're weaving a very intense story here and I can't wait to read more.
-
Compelling
I am pleased to make aquaintance with Mia of the dark
May her tale be only just beginning,
I hope to hear more of your spinning
of the princess so dark of the night
passions are their hunger bright
sweet vampires of the cursed night.
Wonderful, this will hopefully be just a hint of what is to come.. -
fantastic!
This was very intresting, I loved the sotry line and he flow. it made alot of sense, unlike most of the story poems Ive read lately. I hope to see more of this Mia character because obviously the poets and critiques above me like her alot. Anyways, onto the poem! I really really liked the rhyming. All of the poems Ive read by you have been rhyming and they flow so well like you dont even need to think about the words you are typing. Excellent write. i really enjoyed it! -
Wonderful
Very well done though I can't yet see an ending. I think Mia might just be seen again and I do hope so as I so enjoy the vampire pieces. I rather am intrigued of the mate, might be interesting to slip into his adventures? Well just a thought, my imagination is running off with me so I'll leave you with, wonderful write and I'm so glad I get to share it *S* Thanks!
-Angel aka WoundedAngel. -
oooh i love this....and agree with Von...this lends itself well to a further installment.
i love it.
Ann -
I feel that there is more to come yet Johnny. I don't see Mia calling it a day (or should that be night) now she's off the ship.
I've enjoyed her stories so far.
~Von~
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