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Lifes list

I want to slide down a double rainbow
And ride a jetting meteor across the sky,
Maybe visit the man in the moon
So many things to do before i die.

I want to ride an elephant on safari
Take a tour of King Tut's tomb,
Soar with Peter Pan to Neverland
From the Wizard Of Oz ride the witches broom.

Bungee jump off the Grand Canyon
Take a trip to the bottom of the sea,
Ice skate across the frozen tundra
Go to England, meet the Queen for tea.

So many things I want to do
Before I leave this place called home,
Heaven is next on my agenda
There my soul shall be forever free to roam.


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Author notes

JUST SOME THINGS I'D LIKE TO DO!
Written August 25th, 2006

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • xorandomxo
    February 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow i love this.
    love it.
    i want to go to England!
    thanks for entering.
    good luck.

    unbreakable♥


  • PatheticKt
    January 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    what a lovely poem!
    it's heavenly and pretty much breathtaking
    and well, yeah, i imagined all the actions
    you've written in this lovely poem yet again!
    cheers, cheers! i luff it! *clap*


  • Three Doves
    July 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    If you would like, you could enter a fresh piece of writing being just as creative but more relative to the contest. Thank you again for your entry and I hope you choose to re-enter.


  • Three Doves
    July 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I'm a little confused with your list of things you'd like to do. How does it relate to the contest?

  • acytra
    July 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Amen!!! I love this!

    Great flow, imagery and imagination! I love this sooo much.....great luck in this contest! You are a sure winner dear! I love it!


  • Viyanna Rosemarie 2
    July 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Heaven is next on my agenda
    There my soul shall be forever free to roam.

    the perfect ending to a perfect balloon ride. thank you for sharing this with me and i wish you well in this contest that you have entered. viyanna rosemarie 2


  • tawk gold member
    July 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    So many wonderful things on your list to do!! Such wonderful imagery and flow. I so enjoyed reading


  • Ladybug
    June 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Amen!
    this is brillant, meter and thought match the criteria

    thanks! for following the rules of descriptions

    Tamara

  • Ladybug
    May 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is kwel and j ust what I was asking for. /so far you are the first one that followed the rules and request.
    hhhmmmm that I thought were so simple . sorry you had entered this before and not won for you will for certain be taking home a trophy with me.

    Tamara


  • Timeless Wisdom silver member
    May 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Very Well Written

    This does not meet what I was looking for in a humorous poem..however...I will still keep it in and leave a wonderous comment on it because thats what this contest was for, to promote my commenting and reading. Thanks a million for your entry, I loved how this poem flowed, it had a wonderful overall structure and a nice rhyme scheme as well. I most certainly applaud this list of things to do, it is a wonderous life's agenda. Thanks again for your entry.

    ~Ray~


    PS: Please do not reply to this comment as this is an anonymous contest...please wait until after judging to respond to this comment. Thanks A Million


  • XXBrunettexBarbieXX
    April 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow! this was such a powerful poem..it really blew me away..the words you used were very powerful and emotional as well..i really enjoyed reading this poem it was such a great write! keep writting


  • Heavens Child
    April 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I absolutely love this! It brought joy to this reader and a sense of flying free being able to go where no man has gone before. I love how you've combined mostly fantasy with a touch of things that could be possible. Brilliantly done! Thank you for entry in my contest.


  • Lively Matter
    March 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very good write but this really isn't the kind of fantasy i was looking for, this is a fantasy of something you want i guess i should edit the contest again, Very good write anyway thanks for sharing


  • Shantalina
    February 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Soar with Peter Pan to Neverland
    From the Wizard Of Oz ride the witches broom.

    I am all for the neverland and peter pan thing so this part drew me in. Wonderful write!


  • Nicole Cudworth
    January 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    These are all things I would like to do as well! The Peter Pan line was my favorite! Thank you for entering my contest and allowing me to get a glimpse of what you want out of life!

    Love and luck in all you endeavor and may ALL your dreams come true!


  • honey bear
    January 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    very good

    thank you for sharing this fun write with us,by the way you can do all them without even going outside if your imagination passport is in good condition .good luck in the contest and thank you for entering this very fun write


  • xox-lankan-xox
    December 15, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent!

    Excellent poem! It's a great poem to read and I really liked it! Where'd you get the idea for this poem? Thanks so mich for entering my contest! Keep up the great work and good luck in the contest! My favourite lines were "So many things to do before i die.

    I want to ride an elephant on safari
    Take a tour of King Tut's tomb,
    Soar with Peter Pan to Neverland
    From the Wizard Of Oz ride the witches broom" Thanks again!


  • Lionslove silver member
    December 6, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    ...from the "Simon Cowell" of judges: it is so dreadfully disappointing that the ending was ruined by such a strong break in metre. it's all sweet and lovely...but lacks a certain "punch" overall. it is clear you are a writer with talent, however...so don't be discouraged. with the number of writes in this contest and the varied styles and quality of writes, i can't recommend this particular write for the finalists list. however, it looks like one of the other co-judges disagrees with me...so...you never know.

    thanks or your entry...and best of luck!

    (co-judge(
    Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

  • Thedragonisgone
    December 4, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    Fun flavor!

    THis reminds me of taking a little trip with Father Tyreseus and Genesis playing in the background. I think we so many of us have lists of things to do before we leave this earth. For certain, I enjoyed your little journey hear. Not sure if you're under the 100 word limit - perhaps you are I didn't count every line. Anyway, this had a fun and lilting mood to it. Best of luck in the contest.


  • AngelKissez059
    November 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    aHHH!!! VERY VERY WELL DONE!!!! i loved it so much! i woul LOVE ot do al lthese things too! and how you rhymed it it has a very nice flow! i loved loved loved it! thanks fro entering i cant tell this contest will be tough wishesto you for the best of luck! *god bless* ~kelc


  • Elvenfairy
    November 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this was a nice poem. I too wish I could do the things you mention. Taht is why I read and dream so much. It is the only way I ever get to have adventure in my life. Great poem, thanks for entering my conetst

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