My Rose lost Petals
My rose soft and tender,
each petal with its own plunder.
Reminding me of what being I was?
Waiting and observing the world
moving faster and faster.
The time moves slower and slower
as it pass, my rose lost petals.
One by one, soft and tender
Reminding me each of its own plunder
my rose shed petals.
Each petal reminds me,
What I was taught?
To what I fought?
Each petal, fallen
My rose grown thinner,
as my soul being thinner and thinner
Each petal, reminds me
Of what I had learned,
And to what I gain?
Each petal, fallen
I feel to be inhuman
As thorns are sharpen
My sorrow breeds in memory,
loneliness to melancholy,
Alone in the darkness of greed.
Greed, which darkens my rose,
Weakening its petals as the world grows.
I sit and observe this world
Changing from, what I have thought?
Which didn’t resemble to what I have taught?
I was taught to lend a hand in need,
But I see the whole world had their deeds
To there needs, to which my hands
Couldn’t feed, I see broken bands
In sinful huts, to hypocrisy it feeds.
And I was amazed, I was taught that
You will gain at your good deed,
But people use it for there greed
All my hopes crash down
Like darkness at dawn
So I lost my petals, soft and tender
My rose became thinner and thinner
My soul became thinner and thinner
So its adieu,
My rose had no petals.
My rose had no petals.
My rose had No petals.
Soft and tender
to what I remember!!!!!!
A contest entry
- Raven Qualifier - Culture: Religion, Society and Politics by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended August 1, 2007, 84 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inner feeling on life by Li snuffles.
430 points, ended December 16, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites But NO "fresh" writes by ecrivain01.
450 points, ended June 6, 2008, 77 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites!! Send em on over! by perfectsunset.
800 points, ended July 2, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1706 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything you want by MrCrepsley.
600 points, ended September 10, 2008, 195 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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Wow; this was so elegant and beautifully expressed.
Thanks for entering and best of luck
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Thanks for entering ...
and good luck with the other contests.
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truly astounding poem. well penned.
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Thank you for entering!
This poem is lovely .. i love how you personify the rose as a symbol of life
good luck..xXx -
I cannot see your HM?
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well this poem had won hm long time back.. when there were no green trophies just points..
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Great job
Well...it may be 55 lines...(I said less than 50)but I will keep you in.
It's a very beautiful poem and tells so much about you. It's wonderful and I am happy to have gotten to read it.
Best of luck and great wishes to you.
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thanks.. i thougth so u wud appreciate it so i dare to enter.. thnks a lot
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hi i thought this was very good and i enjoyed reading this i also liked the flow and style in which you wrote thanks for entering and good luck
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thanks for ur sweet comment n applaud
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Very well written. Enjoyed the vast imagery in this piece and of course because it is metaphorically about Roses and everyone whos everyone knoews I love Roses [thus, the username].
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Wow the rose petal compare to your soul is well done. What started out as noble deed turns out to be twisted by others greed. This is a life lesson learn the hard way. What we learn does conflict with the world around us. I think many of us can relate to the words shared. It makes one sad to see how greed has taken over our world today. Even those with the best thoughts can be taken in by it illusion of hope. This is a very in depth write. Which carries a range of feelings. Some day our petals do get thinner. Then someone comes and heals those petals give us our hope and joy back. I love the imagery express my your words. I think it shows so much more to the reader. As we get older and older see the world changing in a great many ways. What amazes me the most is the kindness of the human heart. It what brings hope. We all make mistakes. I think this is a great write about human nature in all of our glory to be good and bad.
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thanks for your lovely words of appreciation and for your time.. it makes my effort a worth
thanks again
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Wow, you portrayed quite a picture here. Its oozing with imagery, and the wording was fantastic. Wonderful write!
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This is an intersting piece. I can picture this in my head quite well. Great job! I loved it! Good luck in the contest!
<3 Jenerali -
it was filled with emotion but i still think it needs a little bit of work to reach it's full potential thank you for entering
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hey zexzagel...thnx for ur lovely comment..WELL U GOT MY POEM VERY WELL..thnx for ur patience
regards
abuyi
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Very nice poem, I liked the metaphor of the rose. This may not be what you were aiming for, but what I got out of it was the trials and tribulations of the world seems to pluck at your petals...in other words takes a piece of you. and It gets to the point where your just tired of being picked at because you barely have enough petals left, so anger takes it's place. I liked this poem because that's how I feel day to day and I felt that through this poem. Great job and thank you for entering.
~Lia -
I love the meaning behind the rose and how much the world takes from each of us. Great job.
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hi sunshinefaerie, thanx for your comment...it made me happy and gave feeling a that i belong to a group.
god bless you
abuyi -
Hi
I am in one of the groups you're in
you said you wanted comments
This is really good!!!!
Great job!
I luv it, and i m also sry
God bless,
SF -
amazing
A lot of seemingly hidden meaning here. Beautiful! I love the flow here, and the sweet sensation that can be found. This is really great! The world today... I have my own opinions on that. Many of my poetry has something to do with stopping to smell the roses once in a while. This really is fantastic!
Much love, as always,
Bubbles -
thanx for ur comment...i really appericiated.....
adieu -
Truly a Masterpiece
I really enojyed this piece, and I'm glad to see that you put a lot of thought into it. It made me continue reading which is always a good thing. The things I enjoyed about this piece was: The repitition, the repitition was one of the things that really made me want to continue reading. The symbolism, the rose symbolized your life and was a great way of explaining things. I truly enjoyed it and I think it's one of the greatest poems I have read so far. The concept was amazing as well as your choice of words. And it's good because most people can relate to what you wrote about. Two thumbs up!!
Keep Writing.
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Rosy great!
Another great piece filled with meaning and depth... Which is good in my books. I liked the premise of using a rose, it just really speaks out somehow. and the title is alrite, but maybe "a rose with no petals" would be nice but hey thats my opinion. Do keep it up though, great work
Cheers
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