Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

City Of The Dead/SongLyrics(dark)

Look all around
See the colors
Feel the cold
Doesn't everything seem black?
Rivers dried up
Flowers crumbled to ash
As I waste away no going back

Chorus

Earth has relinquished
Abandonment has taken over
Colors have faded
Should I surrender to
the change
or
just become the hated

Skeletons surround the burial ground
Is this not the city of the dead?
Rainbows and sunshine dancing
Are just metaphors in my mind

Chorus

Earth has relinquished
Abandonment has taken over
Colors have faded
Should I surrender to
the change
or
just become the hated

Skeletons surround?
(Is this not the city of the dead?)
Skeletons surround?
(Rainbows and sunshine dancing
are just metaphors in my mind )
Skeletons surround?
Is this not the city of the dead?

A contest entry

What did you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 51 of 51

  • Blissfullhatred silver member
    May 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Rainbows and sunshine dancing
    are just metaphors in my mind

    Sounds like my way of life. lol. Very good.
    FINALIST
    Good Luck. *Rose*


  • Dead Hair
    June 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    'Rainbows and sunshine dancing
    Are just metaphors in my mind'
    I love those lines! I actually love the whole thing. Very haunting, something you think about for quite a while afterwards.


  • PoetryDove
    June 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hey I liked it even though it was a little dark!
    I'm one of those people who sing a tune to it, and I found one that works lol
    I do agree with you, it is a rather dark metaphor... but heck, I like it!

    Chorus

    Earth has relinquished
    Abandonment has taken over
    Colors have faded
    Should I surrender to
    the change
    or
    just become the hated

    I especially love the chorus!!!!!
    Dang, you really had a way with words with this one.
    The choice of words you've chosen are perfect!
    Metaphorically it makes so much sense.

    Skeletons surround the burial ground
    Is this not the city of the dead?
    Rainbows and sunshine dancing
    Are just metaphors in my mind

    "Is this not the city of the dead?" that's a very chilling part! I can picture it all right now.
    "Rainbows and sunshine dancing are just metaphors in my mind" is sooo good. Just "metaphors" of happy things, eh? LOL That is a brilliant part.

    You did a great job!
    Thank you for entering
    ~Poetrydove~


  • Barbara gold member
    March 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Chilling! and kind of creepy....
    just become the hated... cool line.

    Congrats!


  • BloodCrusted
    March 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I did exactly what Todmeister did!
    I tried to pick out a tune that I know by another artist, and sang to it. (Unfortunately, it didn't work)

    I like the deep lyrics alot!

    "Rivers dried up
    Flowers crumbled to ash
    As I waste away no going back"

    I loved those lines. They gave you a clue on actually how bad this was.. that everything is dying, and some things were dead (skeletons)

    Well, thank you for entering these amazing lyrics, and good luck in my contest!

    -System of Cyanide


  • Todmeister
    December 12, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    Pretty cool - I started signing it with a really random tune, but to my surprise it worked with it!

    A nice write; you've got some really great lines in there. Inspirational.


    • Kari gold member
      December 12, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      I am very glad that you liked it Hmm I wonder what random tune you used


  • Frodofan silver member
    December 12, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    Neat format. I think this has some great vivid imagery. Definently fitting for the contest. Thanks for entering.

    • Kari gold member
      December 12, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      No Problem. I've been thinking about writing some more lyrics on this note so it was you having this contest almost confirmation for me to start it off again
      Kamala


  • Kari gold member
    September 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks hun I am glad you liked it


  • freespirit51
    September 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    These are great lyrics. I am not a fan of dark but they sound great.


  • Kari gold member
    August 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I am so glad u liked it hun!


  • SMario15
    August 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    very nice poem you had written


  • Kari gold member
    August 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I am glad you enjoyed it Thanks for your comment!

    Kari


  • Sierra Darling
    August 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this was a very good write. "Should i surrender to the change or just become the hated" those are my favorite lines. great job.

    -sierra


  • Kari gold member
    August 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    lol thanks for your comment...I am glad you liked it

    Kari


  • Jcsketch82 gold member
    August 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    nice

    Funny, I just finished reading 'On a pale horse' a book based on death, and this piece would fit right in. I love the concept and images and could feel the flow. I think the skull-head would be proud to hum this tune.


  • Kari gold member
    August 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    ~Master Ktulu~
    I am very pleased that you like them

    Kari


  • Ktulu Blackwolfe silver member
    August 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Kari, I absolutely loved these lyrics, which I will remind you that I told you that you can write lyrics. Very good job.

    ~Master Ktulu~


  • Kari gold member
    August 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thank u so much! I am glad u liked it!!


  • Broken-Rickie
    August 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    TWO THUMBS UP

    Wow! This is really cool and really good!


  • Kari gold member
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    oooooooo thanks I am very glad you liked it!!


  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I think you did a beautiful job on this Kari, it paints a distinct image in the mind and is well written! Beautifully done lyrics


  • Kari gold member
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    hehe thanks sweety I am glad u liked it huney.


  • HekatesMinion
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Sometimes being the hated is not always a bad thing, it rather keeps me from feeling much pain, and I have no arguments with that. I loved this piece my wonderful wife, but to tell you the truth, I know it seems all black right now, as it does in my life at this point. But you are an amazing woman, and you will find whatever it is your soul searches for. Love and Hugs. Oh yeah, and big sloppy kisses too.


  • Kari gold member
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is the only second song I've done before lol...I am still learning on songs so....

  • TutorGirl114
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    wow thats really deep i wish i could hear the tune and how it goes. Do u have any more songs?

  • Kari gold member
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks everyone...next time I will try to make it more imagery Thanks again everyone for your comments!!

    Kari


  • caseyboy
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    well this is a very emotionaly felt song. it was very good.


  • Lady Eventide
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Well done, yet I would like, as a reader, to have more imagery. It's deep and dark, though, that much I can see. Good job. Some of the lines were just so...wow...I'm speechless. Keep up the good work.

  • pozo
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Great song which I liked a lot. Keep writing and thanks for commenting on my poem
    All the best
    Pozo


  • Kari gold member
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you hun! I am glad u liked it!


  • Letigre
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderfull

    Utterly Wonderfull, I loved it : ]


  • Kari gold member
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks big sis I am so glad u liked it!!


  • babyalah
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    You do a great job on this sis! Well done to ya
    keep it up!


  • Kari gold member
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    aw Thanks for your kind comment hun I might write another I might not I don't know lol.

    Kari


  • Tam
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow! Great song.....I wish I had your talent! I could never write lyrics but you sure can.
    You should continue to write songs, you have a gift. Blessings! Tammy


  • Kari gold member
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Your very welcome and thanks for your applause and comment. I am glad you enjoyed it!

    Kari


  • The Black Iris
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your comment on my poem. Anyhow, i really liked this song, it is a wonderful song. i think that maybe you could have put more imagery in but then again it is sometimes best left to be quite simple. It had a nice flow and i especially liked the last stanza. Great write.

  • Kari gold member
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks...well it is only my second song ever I'm still learning a LOT lol hmmm I am not sure on that...I think that is left for the reader to decide..


  • abuyi
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    nice work..but i coudnt feel the imagery you wanted to present....so the music of the song must very profound..
    (thats my veiw)
    i liked this"(Rainbows and sunshine dancing
    are just metaphors in my mind )" sounds kool..

    so are u defining the city of death or trying to recognise city of death?????

    well its a nice work..very unique and creative...but i feel ...there can be more better work from you..

    well keep the ink flowing
    adieu
    abuyi


  • Kari gold member
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks lol I am glad u liked it...


  • Firequeen
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    very well done kari.
    i agree it should be a heavy metal song..lol


  • Kari gold member
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I am glad u liked it thanks


  • Maili Knephthan gold member
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Very nicley done. I liked this very much it came out very well...Nice write.................................................................


  • Kari gold member
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thanks sis!!!


  • Abscessed
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oh yea Ktulu's song challenge!!! Wow I completely forgot about that between this mess of an upgrade and complaining about bugs

    Really good attempt I wish you luck in the challenge

    abscessed


  • Kari gold member
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    awww your comment has made my day thank u so very much for your sweet words I am glad u liked it!


  • WelshDragon
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent. I could hear the bass chords, the high pitched scream of guitar and wailing vocals. Bloody hope is was meant to be heavy lol
    Bravo


  • Kari gold member
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks Aunt Kelly I am so glad u like it!


  • wings of an angel
    August 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Kari this is a very good write you had written dear niece

1 - 51 of 51