You can be the candle
And I can be the long wick,
Not one of those fat round ones
But a tall slender silver candlestick.
You can light my fire anytime
Then I can drip all over you,
Fire burning as our sweet love
As a candle holder for two.
You can burn for up to three or four hours
As the wick, I'll stay in place,
The aroma of your sweetness fills the room
And there is wax all over the place.
Oh how we fit so well together
We must both be present to work right,
So I must go find a lighter
For very soon it will turn to night.
And I can be the long wick,
Not one of those fat round ones
But a tall slender silver candlestick.
You can light my fire anytime
Then I can drip all over you,
Fire burning as our sweet love
As a candle holder for two.
You can burn for up to three or four hours
As the wick, I'll stay in place,
The aroma of your sweetness fills the room
And there is wax all over the place.
Oh how we fit so well together
We must both be present to work right,
So I must go find a lighter
For very soon it will turn to night.
Author notes
COPYRIGHT (C) 8/23/2006
WRITTEN BY POETDONTKNOWIT
Written August 23rd, 2006
A contest entry
- Best Poet On AP:Season:2:Round:1 by wakingdevil.
600 points, ended November 25, 2006, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me happy -- Options -- First contest by Stormy Sky.
375 points, ended December 20, 2006, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Easy Creativity Contest................No Rules! 300 easy points! by stop drop and roll.
460 points, ended January 2, 2007, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poet Laureate of all AP for the year 2007 Contest # 87 at The Winkler by Andantino.
875 points, ended January 12, 2007, 65 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CANDLEMAS by Vera Rich.
300 points, ended February 10, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ♥ Do You Bleed Glitter? ♥ by Dead Star--x.
450 points, ended March 22, 2007, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Wonder... by lie.
700 points, ended April 1, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Still Life; wonder in the everyday. by squeezy.
600 points, ended May 13, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - You've Carried Me Over The Edge by Gone.
380 points, ended July 19, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Synethesia- Blending Of The Senses by Mercury Rising.
600 points, ended December 16, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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A very humorous and whimsical piece of poetry that has a certain adorable innocence of expression that I really admire. Best of luck in my contest, and thanks for entering.
David
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I feel this did not really fit the description of my contest title.... it all felt to comfortable...
I am looking for the kind of passion which hurts, even when it feels good!!!
sorry, and thanks for entering
x -
Thanks for entering... I will give a detailed review prior to announcing the results
cheers
James
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Nice metaphor
I wouldn't call this a still life, because the objects were so overtly metaphors for people (so you were describing a relationship by using the idea of candles, rather than describing a candle itself/alone).
That aside, this is a really good piece; a well-used form, a great metaphor- sustained and elaborated on, great combination of narrative, tension and mood. Really enjoyable.
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Interesting. It felt to me, that in the first stanza the even lines were a little off of meter.
This reads as a very lyrical piece. I think that the idea of candles and passion is a little overused, but you added a degree of creativity with your imagery in the third stanza.
Everything was complete and you told a full story.
Good job.
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i dont know why but this reminds me of blue october ♥ i think its because that line but heres an applaud x]
thanx for entering & good luck!
x-amount of words
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Poet, Watch out you don't get burnt. lmaoooooooooooo Very humorous and not what I think of with the candlestick. I think of Miss Scarlett with the lead pipe in the conservatory. Good luck in the contest. Keep smiling. Jeff
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a good piece, very candlelight-hearted. i wish that you have good luck in this contest you have entered. spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
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acknowledgement - and reminder on bonus points
Thank you for entering. I regret the delay in starting to process the entries; however, when I was about to open them on Candlemas morning, I discovered that the "system" had listed the competition as closing on 6 February - 4 days later. So, in case anyone was working to this later deadline, I let the competition run on. Naturally, I did not look at the page again until this morning (6 February) - and then I found the closing date had reverted to 2 February as I had originally intended it to be. (I do NOT understand how this happened - however, the finer points of the internet remain a mystery to me).
I am now acknowledging entries, and - in view of the delay, will download them for judging so that I shall not have to look at your page again before I have reached my decision.
So,this means that the period for critiquing other entries can begin as from now, and run until Friday (9 February) mid-day London time.
If you wish to earn bonus points for critiquing, please critique at least three entries by other people. Critiques should be written in good English, avoiding text-speak, should be at least 50 words long, and be MEANINGFUL.
Please note that critiques dated before the competition closed will not, repeat NOT, count towards bonus points.
Also that to be eligible for bonus points you MUST leave your poem in the competition until the FINAL report on it is sent to you as an IM. Withdrawing it prematurely could mean that other competitors who have critiqued it could lose THEIR chances of a bonus. -
Very interesting spin on the second option. I like it. Especially the candle and wick idea. Very nice touch. Good job and good luck in this contest.
~PoisonedRationality~ -
A nice simple love story of a candle
) Well written!Thanks for entering and best of luck
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This is cute and clever, but MSLJ is looking for discursive writing.
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i liked the simplicity and personality of this poem, another consistent effort.
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ok i see the words thanks
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you still havent told me which words that you have chossen in your piece.
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