Am I Better Off Dead?

I always thought id be better off dead
Some nights i just want to blow off my head
This pain inside has created a monster
All those who hurt me are on my death roster
They will pay
I was never the violent type till today
The only way for me to release this evil inside me
Is to gather my problems and confront reality
Well what can i say about my father
He cheated on my mother
Im no one to judge, only the man above
My father....he doesnt deserve my love
My mother...I DO love her
There is nothing i wouldnt do for her
A divorce
A striking force
I felt like someone stabbed me for the first time
Ive been back-stabbed many times, I feel it inside
All this drove me to a bad habit
Im an alcoholic...
Mrs. Right hasnt appeared, i need her
Im a stoner...
Wow im glad I let it out
I hope no one i love follows my footsteps, follows my route
This pain....its real
Only one man i want to talk to
In the middle of the church i kneel...