You smoked my last cigarette
and laughed.
Thought my addiction would leave me
fish-faced,
begging;
but I quit
smoking and you-
never looking back.
I was young.
Reeled in by your fisherman tales
and straddle-the-line-between
bad boy and homecoming king;
(you were quite debonair
with a ragged hat and cigarette dangling)
left home, strung out on our
'we'll pretend this is love
until something better comes along'
but I forgot to keep searching
never realizing
in naivety
your all night fishing trips
were 'a little strange' fixes
while you knew I would still be
chain smoking
(when mimicry becomes more than flattery
and I mocked your look with piled ashes)
and waiting:
for something real
something dry to the touch
something you weren't
but I never did learn to fish
with any real skill.
Author notes
Written August 23rd, 2006
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Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Oh man... these light backgrounds are just killing my eyes.
I'm so not cut out for the light. It's sad really. I had wanted to be an airforce pilot and fly jets when I was a teenager, but my head is too sensitive to endure the forces of gravity. One more dead dream. My best friend back then, wanted to too, and she did go into the air force... Guess I fucked up when I got pregnant. But likewise, she had an abortion at 15, or she would never have been able to. So it's doing what we can live with, right?
Sorry, I'm rambling. Guess, that's what this poem made me think of being in the similiar vein of remincing and regrets.
Really liked this one. Liked it when I first read it, and I still really like it now. I love story style poems that carry the burdenous weight of past and feelings. Reminds me of your older style when I first met you (which I happen to like).
It's exploratory in nature, seeking definition even as it defines. And I find those kinds of pieces the best because they leave room for personal interpertation on the part of the reader.
The lines about the debonair look with a ragged hat and dangling cigarrette were right on the money and I could see him there, and the why you would fall. It painted very real life reasons in two lines. Very nice.
The only thing I had a question about was here:
~~something you wasn't~~
Did you mean 'wasn't' in slang, because otherwise, shouldn't it be 'weren't'?
But yeah, this was nice too. -
Thank you Annalise, for entering the contest. This poem is just filled with wonderful metaphors. You have done a beautiful job on this poem.
Best of luck in the contest!!!
~much love~
carol
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this is an amazing poem i really liked this one anyway thank for entering and good luck
Edited on Aug 26, 7:06 because ''. -
A metaphorical masterpiece, as always Melinda.
In my humble opinion, fishing isn't the answer. Defining qualities you admire, and then visualizing it... until it happens, that's your ticket. If there's an invitation to go fishing to go along with it when it does happen, smile and accept lol
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Meli this is not the words from a mere female...they are the words from a sarcastic, been there, done that, raw, real women. This is the exact reason I will never, ever stop reading your work...well done again...Trina LOVE IT!!!
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i have been an avid fisherman and know what i am doing in most situations from freshwater flyfishing to longrange deep sea and have gotten my share of limits, whoppers and jackpots but i have to tell you when i get outfished it is usually not by other guys. if i am to be outfished it is most likely a, how did you say it? "a mere female" There is an intuitive advantage most women have in trying new things when fishing that most guys would not attempt – that gives them an amazing advantage. I love the imagery in your poem and the free flow of expression. Blessings and best wishes, ~richard
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thought provoking, unique
Well expressed. I like your link to the fishing trip [girls can fish too]. The feeling I had was creepy like you were a prey...I hope I am wrong with that emotion. Nevertheless, your poem is well spaced, it has vivid imagery and well chosen vocabulary to give it that 'feel'.
Richard -
The metaphor of the fishing made this even more powerful, as it made the deeper meaning more hidden - and therefore seem more bitter in a way..
Jess.. -
wow, that was amazing
i loved this alot
beautiful work
<3
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