nave
weathered charcoal gray with time,
plates and ridges twist until they merge
where cantilevers lift an open-ended vault,
so sunbeams filter shifting through the shade.
pillars rise throughout the halflight,
closing ranks until they fade from view,
motionless as specters looming in the haze.
each living column spreads a weave
of tentacles that reach and interlock
intricate mosaics beneath the brush of sight
which hold the heavy spires strong against the wind.
narrow aisles rim the hall,
wound amongst a staggered colonnade,
part edifice, part fallen ruin, part burnt remains,
forever steeped in age, the rings of ancient life.
understory
stained glass sunlight plays across
vibrant woods which bear no hint of stain,
carved by artisans adept with detailed patterns,
the natural elegance of spiritual design.
sculptures pose a story told
through frozen gestures symbolizing grace;
a sense of history and a mode of life revealed
in living artifacts that teach with outstretched arms.
fixed beneath skyscraping crowns,
adorned in absolute simplicity,
universal altars dominate the gloom.
limbs reach upward, waving prayers
high into the ever-phasing vaults
which crown the open closures in shades of green and blue
or random bits of starscape, etched in moonstone hues.
vespers
screens of undulating green
conceal the many fountainheads of song,
echoed through the stillness with steady rise and fall,
sometimes a hymnal chorus, sometimes a whispered chant.
cascades accompany cantatas
among the columns, flowing font to font,
warbling out a mix of subtle harmonies,
which tingle through the air like rows of crystal bells.
murmurs mist an earthen floor,
resonating down from clerestory heights,
every moment touched by plainsong cadences,
filtered through a gallery of wood and stone.
syncopated slips of sound
punctuate the airs with sudden rests,
silence, prism clear, etched deep within the mind.
Author notes
to learn more about the trisect: allpoetry.com/column/1780251/all=1
Written August 2nd, 2006
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 48 of 48
-
this was not 1 of your best according to my calculations but i do still like it. You never create anything i don't like
-
uhg....
I have a copy of this somewhere but I can't find it...probably at moms in all of those stupid files I can't find a place for...I always read this when I need to clear my mind...I focus on the cathedral and the praise being given and wish I was there in the massive beautiful building and that I didn't have to worry with everything in life...it would be my escape...you built this one so well Erin...I have thought many times that when I get my own house I will have the text of this poem written professionally across my livingroom wall...like someone would hang a painting....that way I don't have to go hunting through the files to find it...it will be right there on my wall for me to read any time I please.... -
I noticed something
I notice that the tercet in each section moves down...like the tercet was the second stanza in the first sect...it was the third in the second..and the last in the last.....nice...i like that...
KAY
-
hj
-
This one and "beads" have to be my absolute personal favorites...
-
truly amazing
I don't even know what to say. This is a wondeful poem that is so original, and smart. I think about those things all the time. I think it is brialliant. Thank you so much for sharing this. I will tell people about it.
. Rewarded 4
-
In need of publicity...too great to keep to yourself
Where is this in an anthology, or did you publish your own book?
-
Sounds like soemthing I would write, hence, my obvious approval of it. The diction used is quite wonderful; I love that this poem is verbose but not arrogant...the speaker sounds awe-inspired and irresistibly draws the reader into the world of wonder...the first and second stanzas of 'understory' are striking, and I love their descriptiveness. I am also fascinated by the simplicity and fluidness of the first stanza of 'vespers'.
Glorious Poem -
i think that this is a good piece of poetry i find which you have written here with some style, it holds a nice gentle rhythm to the poem and the flow is very nice indeed. i enjoyed reading it with my eyes. i thank you very much indeed for sharing your poetic talent. spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
-
I feel as if I'm inside that cathedral! a beautiful piece of writing. Thank you for sharing this.
-
Wow. What a unique structure!!! I loved it! Your descriptions were absolutely beautiful. It felt like I was there. Well done. This pieces catches ones spiritual side as well as ones poetic side. What an amazingly beautiful piece.
-
Grand!
To me this poem feels like a focussed, facetted meditation on form.
I really love the way an almost contained spiritual passion seeps through the seemingly observational tone.
I could feel my mind's eye glide through this majestic building, full of visible, but overlooked treasures for the soul.
I love:
"pillars rise throughout the halflight,
closing ranks until they fade from view,
motionless as specters looming in the haze"
A timeless quiet contemplation on achievement in an architectural and spiritual sense.
Bravo!
Ferenc
Edited on Sep 15, 9:40 because ''. -
Hi rthis is a very lovely write, great flow and a feel that is breath taking,a real pleasure to read this poem, you capture it so well, if you can find an honest comp,lol, this could go for gold, all the best a lovely lovely poem, hugs Di
-
excellent
Good job indeed contextual analysis at its best.Place description and features description with words tightly wrought and woven.Loved the iamgery in this feature ful poem.Holy precints were never described in a better manner.Did you read anything from me on this site? -
Wow, a lot of work went into this. Good job.
dp -
I like it alot, it has great imagry, the set up was strange, like how your stanza's were, but that is cool every one has a unique style, well not everyone but everyone should lol kepp up the good work
-
1)The COLOR of ur imagery stands out as in these lines:
stained glass sunlight plays across
vibrant woods which bear no hint of stain,
carved by artisans adept with detailed patterns,
the natural elegance of spiritual design.
2)The SOUND of your poetry stands out as in these lines:
screens of undulating green
conceal the many fountainheads of song,
echoed through the stillness with steady rise and fall,
sometimes a hymnal chorus, sometimes a whispered chant
3)I must say your fantasy soars!!!!!
Keep writing in! Sophie. -
is: a tercet is a three line stanza. a quatrain is a four line stanza. the nave of a cathedral is the main hall. vespers are evening prayers, but through extension can be prayer in general.
i decided to applaud comment when i hit your observation about my "use of light and metaphor". this constituted an observation about the poem in relation to your experience that helped me see some of what you experienced as you read. Pure Thought gave the poem away with his comment. the poem isn't "meant" to be understood as a poem about a redwood forest; this is just the inspiration. the poem is meant to be experienced however the reader will interpret it. this has been written almost entirely out in the interpretive field--the observer so far removed from the poem's words that the reader can himself become the observer--this is the primary goal of the trisect.
since you're going for the tree poems, you may find a lesser piece of mine worth reading, called "The Phantom of Wheeler Camp". it's in my mixed forms list. -
I feel a bit odd right now. I don't even know what a tercet is,
or a notch, or a nave or a vespa. I am trying not to feel ashamed for neglecting this craft, and failing. I have always tried to place meaning over form, but you have worked a thorn into my tongue by way of your silence. This piece, and the Lotus Tree, like I said, are megastructures, containing ratios and mathematical gradients I find worthy of the subject matter. I have been writing since I was seven, but I see that I have been a lazy writer. Not to say I am discouraged, quite the contrary.
I figured, arrogantly, that my "tinker toy, petronus towers" comment would earn your applause.
So this is a promise of a critique.
I hope to earn your applause,so don't go easy on me,hold your standards firm. I doubt you would go easy anyway. But from the first two readings my impression is this:
Beautiful use of light and metaphor, and I know as I study this piece I'll find more and more.
Maybe the reasons I feel ashamed are that you have shown your love of trees more beautifully than I ever have, and I love trees so much,and I suspect you love trees more than I do. If I hold my eyes just right I see them billowing away, know what I mean?
Anyway, my A.D.D and hypersocial nature betray me. Hope I don't
wear you thin with all this gush. I'm just a sucker for great writing, which you provide. -
Hm, now you say so I do! It's certainly a good idea!
-
KW: did you notice how the tercet moved down amongst the quatrains one notch each segment? it's an experimental structure. wanted to see what the effect would be. i think it worked out well, and it seemed to fit the idea behind the content, too. very glad you could enjoy this.
-
I don't really know what to say. I really liked it, but it seems strange to have a three line stanza, in the middle of four line stanzas.
But it certainly is "etched deep within my mind". -
I’m really not sure what to think of this… It is interesting that is for sure. I see a person walking through an old church imagining what it was like before it became old and run down; which could symbolize many things. (:
-
Shamefully out of applause
I'm surprised no one realized he depicted Gods ultimate cathedral. The natural beauty of the deep woods. There is no building that can compare with His creation. Excellently written, and yes His house is 'etched deep within my mind'.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Humbley,
Pure Thought -
eligent (sorry about the spelling)
wow. I absolutly love the way that churches look. sometimes when I got in the to the sanctuary when it is dark and quite, I get shivers and unexplained haunting emotions...I love it...weirdly enough, I felt the same way reading your poem. I try to imagin the patence that it must have taken to write such a beautiful peace. thank you so very much for sharing.
--shiny wallet -
lovely poem
bravo!!!!! -
excellent write
powerful imagery, this goes beyond the norm in my experience.
every part opens a new window of the senses. you are very talented so keep writing on!this reads easily and enjoyably -
Very expressive lines you have penned here. Educational as well as entertaining to read. Cathedrals are amazing, as is the one in Koln, Germany and many others in France and Europe. The words are wonderful and so alive, bring this poem up many notches to the top.
-
I'm catholic and I think cathedrals are beautiful, especially gothic ones and so the title drew me in. What an amazing poem. I love the imagery. You did such a great job on this. You are truly talented. Keep up the amazing work.
love always and forever, midnite rae
aka:marissa rae -
I'd forgotten how much I'd missed reading you.
Such deep imagery, and yes, a sense of solitude.
You are a dedicated poet, with alot of talent, and vision. Thanks for sharing it.
Amazing work.
-
i enjoy how the poem moves you through the cathedral as if it were a tour guide with each stanza titles with a different area of the cathedral, powerful structure
-
You make every single word count. Amazing. Simply amazing.
-
I love old buildings with history. They tell so much about the place and the culture more so than the actual Mass sometimes. I love that you made this into a trisect!! another wonderful poem.
-
Superb/Inspirational/unique
A fantastic write, I loved it. Not only reminded me of the many times I have sat in a cathedral between Mass's, but also of a marvelous retreat in a Russian Orothdox Monastery. -
a wonderful piece here, full to bursting with imagery, makes me want to stroll around the angles, a tilt to my head as i gather the sights spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
-
This is the best write I've witnessed at AP to date.
Stunning is all I can say.
You have somehow elevated the poetry here to a much higher level.
This is far more than simple poetry, and your words create a much more powerful effect than the common cat in the hattish rhyming tales of woe.
Very well done.
Rumer -
murmurs mist an earthen floor,
resonating down from clerestory heights,
every moment touched by plainsong cadences,
filtered through a gallery of wood and stone.
this is with so much powerful immagery and metaphors touching the depth of the capacity which is a poet's greatness here..great work indeed..
-
whoa this is some piece... long and very interesting. i really like it becuz its a new style of writing that ive never seen. good job!
-
"sculptures pose a story told
through frozen gestures symbolizing grace"
I did construction news reporting for over 12 years; I am familiar with the terminology & can easily visualize the structure you've so eloquently defined...This is a lovely & intricate penning, filled with rapturous description & impressive flow throughout...your verbiage is well~chosen & defines the borders of the piece with clarity & precision...The imagery is unique & profound, enhancing your writing with vivid pictures painting your words...This has a quiet sense of solitude about it...it makes us pause & ponder our own existence...there are many layers that require us to unveil our own thoughts in perspective...Please carry on, Zahhar...The world needs all of the Poets it can hold... Wanda
-
weathered charcoal gray with time,
plates and ridges twist until they merge
where cantilevers lift an open-ended vault,
so sunbeams filter shifting through the shade.
Tis stanza sounds like you've set up a place for yourself where light has to cross many obstacles to touch it's destination. The first line makes everthing sound tiring and run-down...I think this is an excellent first stanza to attract your readers.
Stained glass sunlight plays across
vibrant woods which bear no hint of stain,
carved by artisans adept with detailed patterns,
the natural elegance of spiritual design.
This is kind of like a church that I visited when I was down in Mexico, every morning this seemed take place. Light would fall through the windows revealing all the dust in the air. It made things seems so different in my setting. It reminded me of how modern America actually is compared to Mexico. "The natural elegance of spiritual design" What is this? Is this is the love for buildings built with the spirit of GOD? It does say in the bible, "If the house be vein, it shall fall."
Overall I think you've done better. I like most of your old poems. When you started writing about the solar system and all that jazz your stylle began to change. But hey, i'm a hypocrite, your work is a million times better than mine.
GOD BLESS,
Carino -
I absolutely adore old historial buildings and i think you really have something here! I actually got goosebumps reading this and could almost smell the damp and hear the echo! Amazing!
Well Done! -
A very good piece, and the imagery is excellent. This poem both is able to describe the scene visually and bring out the emotional reverence for such places.
-
tam: this is exactly the goal of a trisect.
-
this is a beautifully descriptive piece describing
a beautiful place. you did a good job of having
us see and feel the essence of this building.
good job. -
tiptoeing quietly from your words
My, very well done....
I can't explain this but a "quiet" has fallen on my spirit as though I am actually standing in a cathedral and overwhelmed by it's sheer spirituality I am rendered quiet. Out of respect.
This is strange, it is almost like I did NOT read your words, but experienced them. Does that make sense?
Of course not. I shall simply applaud and exit.
Quietly. Blessings! Tammy -
red: you're a perfect candidate for looking at a little more information concerning this poem. i'm going to send you a link via im and i hope you'll go have a look (you'll need to make a myspace account if you don't already have one in order to see the blog--which provides a lot of information about the inspiration behind this poem). hope you'll enjoy. i think you'll be surprised.
-
I read this because I am an architect and have visited most of the cathredrals of France, England, Spain, and Italy. You've done a wonderful job of capturing both the physical character and the atmosphere of these places. I want to compliment that you took time to capture not just the visual but also audible atmosphere. The first time I ever heard singing in a cathedral is etched in my mind. I hope with time you add other components of these places to this piece. Although I realize you have dealt with the interior space, possibly the portals with their sculptures guarding against evil spirits and the spires pentrating the sky would be appropriate, equally interesting studies. Wonderful work.
-
Hushed!
You know what....I think I can feel now when you have posted something here...because I am the first again!..lol
Now to the comment...lol
I once heard a cathedral be referred to as a soul....and I thought..now there is an idea...but then again I was later thinking...there are so many black souls out there...but of course a cathedral is sacred and each soul is in a way ...cause only the owner of if knows the contents besides its' maker.... when I walk into a cathedral i get this hushed feeling...like nothing is in there...then i hear these opera sounding voices...(someone told me they were angels once but i later figured out they were just old ladies in robes...lol)
So ...while reading your poem I don't know if it was a glimpse of that hushed feeling inside...or if you just like describing cathedrals..lol.....Great write my friend...
KAY
Adding your comment:
1 - 48 of 48
