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man and nature

          Man and  nature
                           

As I walked along the path
Crushing grass under with wrath
That wanted to whisper sounds
Left unsaid beyond bounds

As I rested under the tree
One blue leaf fell on me
That wanted to conspire with light
Planning future far in sight

As I passed a well-known tree
One blue and blushing smile on me
That  brought me back my youth
And sure, well did it soothe

As I passed the mountain still
Stopping wind to play on hill
Flirting flower and dancing deer
Lulling leaves all keep me near

As the brooding breeze did wink
And the fading sun did sink
Bringing me my memory past
Dissolving the moon at last

When I left a lasting sigh
Dancing waves did keep me high




           
                           

Author notes

No 14. Nature
nilav

A contest entry

What did you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 14 of 14
  • Abnormal
    December 30, 2008

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    This was a nice poem about the woods. The rhyme sounded a little forced in the first verse though. But, the rest of it was good! It had strong imagery to this, well done. Thank you and good luck!


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    June 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I often find myself shuffling my feet, ripping at nature, for what it has done to me.
    Though for the most part, I adore nature.


  • Luna Tique Fringe
    May 3, 2008
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    Thanks for entering.


  • EternalMemory
    May 3, 2008

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    I liked this, but (this is just be my opinion) it didn't quite seem finished - perhaps just one more line just to finalise it?
    Thanks for entering.


  • tawk gold member
    April 3, 2008

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    I love to walk in the woods it brings a sense of such peace too me. What an amazing write so full of vivid imagery and emotions. I felt like I was there with you. Thanks for entering and good luck. Theresa


  • parntsoftwins
    March 26, 2008

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    I enjoyed this write very much. It so clearly shows how nature has it's own beautiful ways of helping to soothe our emotions, and stresses. Each description was absolutly beautiful, soothing me as i read it! Thank you very much for entering and sharing this piece with us! I wish you luck! Hugs~Nikki


  • kareneisenlord gold member
    March 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I liked it. Very dreamy and beautifully written in a lovely flow and rhythm and rhyme. You expressed well the healing qualities of nature in you poem here as you started off with tension in your footsteps. Then, as you proceeded, Nature seduced away your anger and soothed you until you finally met with your inner self, the child of your past and your center.

    I was left with the image in the end, of you cradled in the arms of mother nature. You produced very nice imagery in your poem.

    "As the brooding breeze did wink
    And the fading sun did sink
    Bringing me my memory past
    Dissolving the moon at last

    When I left a lasting sigh
    Dancing waves did keep me high"


    Thank you for your entry and best of luck to you!


  • IndividualEleven
    July 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Good write, good flow and nice rhymes, did a great job on the imagery and journey you brought the reader on, thanks for entering - Eleven.


  • Deindichter
    July 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Lots of great internal rhymes here, a bit forced in the begining it seems, but for the most part pretty fluid. I like the endrhyme you have going on, plus a ton of great images as its been said a few times prior to this comment. I liked the inversion you had toward the end. Great job on the piece, and good luck with the contest.


  • Sunshine Always
    March 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful images float around my head from the words you have written here in this exceptional piece.Put together very well. Thanks for sharing...mal


  • Amicus2K9
    January 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I think, surmise, our cultures are far too different for me to comprehend the meaning of this poem, especially being led here by your message.

    I was banned from AP a few years back, for challenging the moderating authorities herein and all of what I had posted, old and new was removed.

    What remains is bits and pieces and should not, or perhaps cannot reflect my writings...


    I have tried with three readings to understand the man/woman philosophy/poetry conflict you asserted and I see only possible, unsure, uncertain suggestions as to your meaning and that is without a doubt, my inability to comprehend and not your failure.

    And the nature bit also...as I think of the brief exchanges we have had, the nature of man, the nature of the beast, the nature of nature itself, exists independent of what you or I perceive, as as well, functions quite without our permission or approval.

    I apologize, if necessary, I did not have a good evening...I had added over 8,000 words to a story, 17,000 words over all, a very difficult and emotional story and suddenly it was gone... consumed by the evil gods of the computer, I was left with page 1 of 1 and a single letter, 'n' and nothing more.

    I am rather discombobulated at the moment as I know I can never repeat what I wrote and there is nothing, not even an old file to recover.

    So I wish the best for you as I go to drown my self in a bottle somewhere...


    thank you for the interest...


    amicus...




  • zilbermann silver member
    January 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Yes, I like it! You are using rhyme well here, and I am old fashioned enough to be partial to rhyme. I look forward to reading more of your poetry in the future. Put a reward on it if possible. I want points so I can reward others for reading mine.


  • wakingdevil
    August 30, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Well created and well written and weaved together beautifully.Thanks for entering and best of luck


  • Sandi Alford gold member
    August 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    The parallels between Nature's imagery and human emotions are formidable. Your title, wonderful and so fitting, causing the mind to ponder both sides. Great work!
    Best wishes in this contest, blessings Sandi

1 - 14 of 14