The sky is chocolate, prior to a wild wet rain,
when dust is collected, beaten into submission,
until it loses its glossy glitter.
Voice of thunder, spear of revenge,
bitterness collected in updrafts,
sweetened by the rock of an ocean sky.
Fall acid-brown spots slapping leaves,
until they dry with a strange disease,
like women waiting for a warrior
who would wound them.
Universe weeps at her work;
Constant scrubbing of dirty laundry,
her veils slipping along mountain teeth
and prairie tongue. Greedily
the lake swallows it.
Author notes
Option 2
I live among the heavens
made of billions of stars and planets.
The Earth is part of me
while it swirls upon its axis.
I really am quite famous
they named a chocolate bar for me.
Could you tell me what I'm called--
Pretty, pretty please?
Mars Bar
Written August 22nd, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Webs of the mind by Sandi Alford.
300 points, ended September 5, 2006, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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thank you, Gaylene. i am glad you liked it..I so love to write poetry and it is an addiction of mine.
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thank you Frozentearz. and, I always appreciate that you come and find my work and comment so nicely on them.
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Congratulations on your place in this contest and your lovely silver trophy
I loved your poem
Gaylene
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Congratulations on your award
always a joy to read your page.
Love and Light
Frozentearz -
thank you DK. I wanted to push the envelop a little. i am glad it worked enough for you to appreciate it. I do appreciate you stopping by and commenting.
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lol....I love candy bar..I hates chocolate...aren't I silly?
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lOVELY IMAGERY! Chocolate sky has quite a ring to it...Mars bar didn't occur to me, I interpreted it as Milky Way, but this was a charming and thought provoking interpretation taking a surprising direction! Well done!
DK -
Of course we have Mars bars, Sweetie...The Mars company also makes Milky Ways & M&M's...I call 'em candy bars 'cause not every one I eat is chocolate...some of 'em are just caramel...
I dunno, maybe it's a Kansas thing, who knows??? 
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Aw, the Milky way. I bet that americans do not even have a Mars Bar, do they? Well, we are a weird bunch, anyways, we callt hem "chocolate Bars", even if they aren't chocolate and you call them "Candy Bars", even if they ARE chocolate. hee hee
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"Universe weeps at her work;
Constant scrubbing of dirty laundry,
her veils slipping along mountain teeth
and prairie tongue. Greedily
the lake swallows it."
What glorious songs you whisper across the distance, dear Lady...Wonderful use of metaphor & verbiage...Beautifully original penning, my Sister...So many lines within to feast our ravenous eyes upon...Gorgeous details throughout...& I don't think I'll ever view laundry in the same way again... Brava, Carol...Good luck in the contest... Wanda
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A very unusual write.I loved evry word.Well done, ros
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Youa re welcome, Sandi.....I often am amazed at where lines come from. This one simply wrote itself onceI climbed on that plane.
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Exquisite imagery
The Mother of the Universe has a lot of daily chores, and this one I had a front row seat to experience...sheer beauty that delighted all the senses! Too many great lines to mention, this must be savored in it's entirety, wonderfully done!
Thank you for joining us in the web of the mind, Best wishes! Sandi
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This was great I can see this is going to be a wonderful contest
already
I always enjoy my visit to your poems,
Warm thoughts
Frozentears
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