Requiem Vows
Come o’er fleeting shoulders of shadows you lost in your harrowed youth, my love.
Hiding in the twilight will do you no good, for the hungry dead will still reach you,
Rising from the vigil of your innermost massacres of belov’d dreams.
In the funeral suit you were buried in centuries ago, you linger among the pews,
Sitting and citing words from our holy martyr Saint Valentine, glass impaled in his eyes
Teeming and writhing of the divine arrows lacing his robes with vile red endearments.
Over wakes you spat blood on roses and dropped your tears in ink o’er vestibule marble.
Paramour of my darkest dreams, I’ve seen your requiem mass shrouding your eyes.
Hide your frigid reveries of spider lace and burial silk, and open your immortal soul,
Eternally awaiting my everlasting kiss since the last rose was lain on your sepulcher.
Raise your gaze, my ghostly aristocrat, for even in death I have come for our embrace.
Author notes
I wrote this tonight...is response to your contest. For someone. Someone that's as much in love with the idea of classical beauty in death as any martyred lover's ghost would be.
Written August 22nd, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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Ayla, you're still an amazing writer. I've always admired that about you.
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Now that was something worth reading. Been sitting here trying to find something of old, if that makes sense, to read and bathe in. Very well done my little angel. Have missed you!
Hugs,
Mom
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Haha. Engaged as in promise ring. I don't plan on getting married until I'm 21
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engaged? ENGAGED? Have I approved this?????
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:-)
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wow this was amazing and touching. ive always loved ur writing
keep it up!!
<3333
Diya -
Woah, this is well-written, intriguing, interesting.... not what I normally read, but I like this one very very much! Congratulations on impressing me( ) and... well... well done!
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ahh this is so original and gave me goosebumps. have you seen phantom of the opera? it has the same feel. wow.
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so the acrostic reas christoper?
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Interesting.
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I've never read a poem quite like this before. It's really good! Good luck in the contest!
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superb
Well yes dear there is beauty in death! All those squashed roses mashed in between the pages of I love you and go ....Of course this is absolutely beautiful. As of late I have finally been able to tap into that darkside. And write it. Something I've been so envious of when it is done and done well. There are two itsy witsy things missing here though. You said this is an acrostic, but unless I'm missing a marble or two (which isn't out of the extreme possibilty) your missing the letter H and your I needs to be capitalized. I thought it was just the continuation of the stanza. Other than that, sheer perfection. Love the title too.
~Michelle~
Edited on Aug 23, 3:21 because 'bad grammer'. -
Well written, maybe some shadows of motzart? Mabe some Barnabus Collins and Dark Shadows? Angelique even? I liked this and was refreshed with the new of it. You did a very nice job and should expand on this story - Sandra
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This is really an amazing piece. I've read your stuff before, and never cease to be amazed at your beauty in the art of writing. What you attain is only what I aspire to. Your words are beautiful, and the imagery in this poem is almost beyond words. Keep up the great work.
Crystal -
realy great write
your words made this poem /song come to life
great -
The last line makes the piece. It's wonderful.
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Acrostics are so hard to write in that some have no connection between the lines - you have written them with continuity and relationship to each other.
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10/10
You Write With Such An Easy Expertise.
The Words Flow So Well....
I Once Read That To Be Comfortable With An Art Form, You Must First Practise Until You Find It Easily. I Think You've Done It. It's Fantastic. The Adjectives, The Language.
Thankyou, Its Excellent -
Personally I think that martyrdom is a bit over-rated, but that is only my opinion. I can't see much glamour in desth...however as far as the poem is concerned , it stands on its own merits and the metaphors and comparisons seem to be well researched and presented. If Christopher reads this I am sure he will enjoy it and be flattered that you know him this well,
my best to the both of you,
reenie
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Wow! your usage of metaphors were fabulous! I don't totally understand every line yet, but I know it gave me an eerie feeling!
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Haha yes
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This was well written, but it's not really the kind of thing I like.
Still, well done on a good write. -
I had tried this but failed. You did a beautiful job using many metaphors.
Good luck.
Rose
Edited on Aug 22, 4:04 because ''. -
This was a well written piece, and i enjoyed reading this. It displays pure love for some one, and that is something i like to read in poems. I really liked this line
'Raise your gaze, my ghostly aristocrat, for even in death I have come for our embrace'.
i think that is beautiful. well done with this. keep up the good work
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very nice...!!!
i am loosing words to comment on it...!!! -
good
The last line is a beautiful description. Dreamy and well thought out. He's a lucky man. -
is his name christoper
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well worth the read
well i hope christoper appreciates your love as well as you write he should be very proud and humbled at the sametime. I enjoyed your write you have some very powerful imagey a well crafted write. a pleasure to read good luck in the contest
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