Atrocious wounds snake their way up her shaking arm
Mocking her with silent traumatizing words
Her bloodshot eyes reverberate the fatigue within
Putting her trust in him has left her exhausted
Morbid thoughts eat away at her unsteady mind
She's dangerously close to self destruction
She has fallen into the depths of this nightmare
Crimson imperfections leak from her punctured veins
She's pathetically drowning in her self standards
Miserable cries of help escape her blackened lips
Her cries are ignored just like her
She's rapidly growing tired of this life
The grave eagerly calls her name
She writes her apologies on tear stained paper
With burning tears in her eyes she signs it goodbye on her abused wrist
She can no longer handle the aggravating pain
She lost everything she never had...
Author notes
eh this sucks i know. the flow is off, and it can use a major adjustment. tell me what you think. be brutal....
Written August 20th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Yet again. Another depressing write but the detail was really good. I'm not a huge fan of self loathing, depression and cutting poetry. But you add a sense of humor (for me) and a lot more morbidness than I would have thought. It's really good. Keep it up.
♥
Vermillion -
You're right, the flow is a bit off but the wonderful vocabulary and the perfect wording makes up for it for the most part =] I liked how you said she was drowning in her self standards, and how at the end you say she lost everything she never had. I feel that that final statement makes this piece even more powerful. =] Great job.
xxJessieMK -
Wow. Stunning, shocking work. I really liked it, scartch that, loved it. It was really beautiful with great words used to create a clear image. Really good. (Thank you for the comment!)
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I like it alot actually. It definetly doesnt suck. Its amazing!!
-Lacey -
Whoa. Just...stunned. Awesome write, Isa!!!
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Isabel, this is a beautiful poem. Awesome write. I LOVE this poem. It's really good. I can't even think of words to describe this amazing poem. Awesome write. I SM"ORE YOU!
Me
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This is amazing. The images that you've portrayed here are clear in my mind. "Dead End" is certainly off the hook!
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