Cameras flash,
peddlers hawk souvenirs,
fatherless children
still question why,
cry water color tears,
soak hearts and stick figures
of private 9-11's
stored up in painted heavens;
"Miss you dad" and "I love you's"
never run dry.
Author notes
yesterday we went to Ground Zero in Manhattan, so impressed and touched by the pictures that were drawn by children of fallen police and firemen from 9-11 on the walls there for all to see, like a museum.
Written August 20th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- I hope you've got inspiration - 15 lines or less by DancingRed.
300 points, ended April 9, 2007, 49 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Words To Shatter A Smile by Exodus.
600 points, ended July 7, 2007, 37 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BLOW MY MIND UP by Swan song.
1000 points, ended August 26, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Come along AP Poets, Time to Win!! by Hebz.
525 points, ended March 17, 2008, 84 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Move me! Anything goes. by Temprance.
450 points, ended June 10, 2008, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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I personally think this is a very well done piece and did enjoy it. I'm sorry but I will have to remove it from the contest because it has gone over the 30 word line limit that is on the contest several places in yellow. I'm sorry.
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this has 61 words, word limit is 54 thank you for sharing this beautiful write of emotions and feelings displayed from a horrid day for all. please feel free to submit another write with the word limit this includes the title.
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Cameras flash, peddlers hawk souvenirs,
fatherless children still question why,
cry water color tears, soaking hearts and stick figures
of private 9-11's stored up in painted heavens;
miss you dad and I love you’s never running dry.
9-11
the day
I cried -
Very good and vivid
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This is just amazing. Thank you so much for taking the time to enter this. You have some stunning imagery and metaphor in here. Wow I'm not really sure what else to say, I guess "thank you" is it.
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Congratulations to you on an excellent poem, and a silver trophy, this inspires me to not take a second of life for granted! Well done!
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This is beautiful. Not only is the subject itself utterly touching, but you've expressed it in such a deep and personal way. I'm not so keen on the rhyme, but that's nothing compared to the emotion that's oozing from every word. Thanks for entering.
DancingRed.
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Nicely said.
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Your poem is really very profound. It really stirs the soul, makes you think, makes you feel! It conveys a lot in just a few words. And very powerfully, indeed! Keep up the good work!
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saying that this is beautiful is an understatment--i truly loved this poem....it says so much....i love the line: "miss you dad and i love you's never running dry"--this is a masterpiece--marvelous work....have a great day and peace....:]
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Short and simple yet, the raw emotion behind this poem makes it very amazing. It tell exactly what happened without going into indepth detail.
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So much meaning in such a short poem. _nora
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Omg this poem is wonderful. I mean it is a very sad sad topic and yet the poem some how makes us all see things we didnt before. Thank you for letting me read this poem and for having the courage to write on such atopic. This poem tells people like me who live in Iowa and are not even close to there just what an impact all this made on the world and those who had loved one s in the towers how hard it must be. omg I am rambling on and on. sorry bgut anyway thank you for sharing this with me. Keep penning.
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Very Good
For how short it was, it carried over it's point very well. Poignant, I think that's how you spell the word. Very good job. -
I really love this--and to me if I had to complain about anything it would be that there's not enough, it's too short! (haha) I really like the last few lines, they are so powerful and touching that it made me shudder--and I read A LOT of poetry
Very wonderful, I enjoyed this. I hope to see more of your writing!
Mech
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This is a great topic to pick for a poem. it is very touching and it is amazing to see childern around the world drawing pictures for their fathers, mothers and friends. Beatiful write!
-piney -
Oh my! What a piece that you have pened here! I like this one a lot! It is very short and words but so powerful in the ones that you have. I really took to the concept of water colored tears. It said to me that they were of the most pure and innocent kind and I thought that was a really great way of putting it. Also, it was such a profound tragedy and I liked how you narrowed down the focus to one point. It helps us take it all in better. I think that you have done a great job of expressing yourself here. So thanks for featuring this so that we all had a chance to share your words and feelings with you!
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Very Good
No sure I could handle going there, Thanks for seeing more then most. You capture a memeory that most will never see. Excellent write and good eye. Keep the pen flowing. -
This is a very touchy subject, even years later. It was horrific what happend on September 11th, and I am one opposed to the movie making of the events. I don't think it's right to bring back what were trying to move on and become stornger from.
X Autumn X
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This is beautiful. I've never been there . . . to tell the truth . . . I'm kind of scared to go . . . scared of what I will see and the memories those pictures will bring.
Well written
Keep penning . . . keep sharing . . . and much luck to you in any and all future poetic ventures!
Maggie
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