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Untitled Dog Poem

Just a small pup,
wandering in the jungle,
behind the doghouse.
Siblings cowered by the door.
Beyond the jungle, something waited.
Barreling through the tangled weeds,
smells assault keen nose.
What is this?!
New strange odor mixed with familiar.
New bug to catch?
One with pincher's maybe?
Last bug had pincher's,
mean sucker made nose ache for weeks.
Nose to the ground , tracking, stalking.
Smell so strong , invades every cell.
Stick snaps to the left , off I go.
Wait! Slow down, slow down!
Don't want to scare it off.
Belly low, crawling, creeping up on it.
Ears alert , eyes watchful for any movement,
gotta find it.
Body goes ridged when small furry creature appears.
Pounce position assumed , steady now,
must get this part perfect or I'll miss the prey.
QUICK , dash , dash!
Human shouts , alerting the animal.
Human scolds as she scoops me up and hands me to a new pair of hands.
Who is this?
What's happening?
Squirm , Squirm , trying to get away.
Didn't mean to get in trouble.
Am I getting in one of those roaring things?
Looking out the clear barrier at my siblings.
Mommy?!
She's barking and pacing.
Mommy?!
I promise not to chase the thing again.
Please , let me out of this moving thing.
Whimper , Whimper , piddle on the floor.
Cry louder maybe they will let me out.
I promise not to chase the furry thing again!
Please take me back , won't be a bad puppy anymore.
Furry thing ruined my life.
New human uses a chain,
all day on the chain.
Bark , Bark, can anyone here me?
Where is food?
Where is water?
Where is love?
Furry thing ruined my life.
Human calls it a squirrel.
I see you off in the distance,
climbing the trees, hiding in the leaves.
Thoughts consumed by you.
Dangerous , angry thoughts.
Want to bite , tear , rip , eat you.
Teach you to ruin my life.
Lung , Lung , truly angry now.
Chain breaks , rip across the yard.
Must get the squirrel!
So close , can taste fur on my tongue.
Jaws snap close , coming away with just fluff.
Sit at the bottom of tree , watching , waiting for next time.

Author notes

I started out with a fiction piece but I didn’t like how it was going so I tried a poem for it
Written August 20th, 2006

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Jamilichid
    August 26, 2006
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    And although your poem was about frustratio, and that came across, the contest was for the amount of passion and i judged accordingly

  • Jamilichid
    August 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    odor is actually spelt 'odour' but that was all

  • Ravette
    August 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Slightly confused I don't see any spelling mistakes so if you see some could you please point them out? This is not about passion its about frustration mainly.


  • Jamilichid
    August 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    It was good, but not very passionate, and i see you didnt spell check like the rules asked, otherwise great and good luck!


  • Scrapped Soul
    August 22, 2006
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    bwahaha... sorry I just liked the puppy at the end of the poem where he's about to tear up a squirrel. But I feel really bad for him.... taken away from his family like that... good job

  • WintersDarkCherub
    August 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Its sad...to tie a dog up

1 - 6 of 6