You're all over him, like you think he's yours
How can you do that, you're such a fucking whore
We tell you to stop, but you never listen
So I'll sit here and I'll cry, tears of pure crimson.
I thought you were my Friend, but you proved me wrong
I know how I'll handle this, I hope I can stay strong
You run around saying "soon he'll be mine"
But he'll never be yours bitch,so stop feeding us that pathetic line.
Everyone tells you to just back off you witch
But you act like you can't hear, are you fucking deaf bitch?
You dont know that deep inside, I'm slowly dying
And you'll never see these crimson tears I've been crying
Ok so this is old I just felt I should edit it a bit because I read it and was like ew lol. what do you think?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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alrite it wuz iight but the flow wazn't der but I luv how u write lyke from u so it sounds very much tru u feel me? but it seem lyke all talk der wuz no poetic thangs in dis but I thought u did good. Keep writing.....
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I think it's really good. I really like it.
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The poem was well-expressed. Personally, I think the profanity made piece more angry and powerful. Your pain and anger was shown well. However, the lines about your crimson tears were quite clichéd. Nevertheless, for it being one of your first poems, it was good and full of emotions. Keep writing and you’ll get better.
- Andi -
i don't like the cussing, i think it takes away from the poem, makes it...shallow....the parts about the crimson tears are wonderful, though
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omg I love this girly! i am gonna miss u when i go bk home! i love the poem..she is a frikin whore lol
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pretty just like me
its really pretty. The attitude in the poem is very clear, never stand back and allow people to hurt you. always be strong on the outside even though on the inside ur a wreck... -
This is so beautiful and kind of weird since i too used to have a relationship like this, and i called him bunny, and i wrote something like this which i haven't yet posted on here. But this is so beautiful.
I loved the repetition of Bunny as though you are trying to ground the person you talk to, and make them realise, but each time it feels more lost, leaving it to the end of the line.
Crimson tears is a lovely line too, but you know, no matter how much oit hurts right now. It won't always hurt. It took me a year to say that, but it lessens eventually. Don't let him hurt you.
I hope you're ok
keep writing
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