~Innocence~
Where is daddy? Where is brother?
I miss them so I have to wonder-
but being a child of only five
has left my bonnet a bee-hive…
~Ponders~
Thoughts fly around inside my head.
I’m told, “Don’t worry, go to bed.”
But sleep’s elusive as can be-
I know for naught my destiny…
~Until~
Awakened on a bomb filled night,
my mother screamed in utter fright!
Exploding plaster took our lives
and dust now coats my vacant eyes…
~Awakening~
So now I look down on the sight
from high above in ethereal light-
a village crumbled, streaked in red,
with innocent victims lying dead…
~To truths~
Distance calls me; it’s time to go.
But before I do, you have to know-
I’ve witnessed more than eyes should see
from each new dose of atrocity…
~What price do YOU deem too high? ~
Author notes
Goes without saying
Written August 20th, 2006
In a list
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aww mann. i didn't try it out yet... maybe i'm to scared that i wont even be able to be on the same poetry globe as you
for your collection again -
A Gem Stone of a Poem!
beautifully penned poem here you have written my good friend. I really liked the contrast and the over all flow of the entire poem. I loved howe the layout was set up and how you space dit all out to make it look more appealing and easier on the eyes. Excellent poem all round and although I ran out of applauses who cares I am going to applaud any ways. Beautifully inked.
Sincerely, Paul 
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Ah. The form is spectacular... a wonderful write, though such a sad subject.
Good luck in the contest. This should do well, I think.
Meli -
Sadly, life seems to be conflict from beginning to end, and wars seem to be the most hideous aspect of that. Good luck in the contest.
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It was a nice poem, but I think i'm late to respond. After appologising for that I would say the very fantastic feature of your poem is the different labled aspects covered in it. They really shine like gems. Thanks for writing for my contest and all the best for crimson's contest.
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oh what a truth is said in this post, great risks and suffering
at the hands of what? lets say idiots, to have young or innocents pay with their lives, thank you for sharing and best of luck in the contest..
MM -
this is well done, good luck in the contest. There are some punctuation problems but overall this is very well written
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This was awesome. It was written with raw honesty and deep compassion. Very well done.
Soulful Woman -
Awakened on a bomb filled night,
my mother screamed in utter fright!
Exploding plaster took our lives
and dust now coats my vacant eyes…
I can see the distress of the poet with in the poetic words here..so touching write indeed..
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wow couldn't have written it any better wonderful job of writing so full of truth and emotions of pain from war it really stinks
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very well done
Very nice write. It is all to often that the children pay the high price for the stupid mistakes of the adults. LIke any reasonable person I hate war and I hate most of all the it kills and maims the innocent who had nothing to do with starting it in the first place. The ones who started it tend to make lots of money. What war is worth the life of one innocent child?
You have awesome usage of words. The form is nicely laid out and I love the theme and the thoughts behind it. This is a great piece of poetry -
Wonderful
Gut wrenching is right. It flows well, and the sing-song quality of the rhyming is in stark contrast to the content, which is very effective here. Nice job. Keep up the good work. -
This one grabs the heart strings. Sometimes we forget about the children in a war. No child should have to go through this because of what some stupid adults do.
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Prince Charming put my reaction in words far more expressive than I can bring to bear. Although I have never been subjected to war; the words of this poem, and the reaction it raised, at a guess, from at least one who has, is universal.
When will mankind learn that war isn't endless, but peace should be. With great admiration, jono -
i love how deep you delved into this subject... i think that you ended it perfectly, really thinking about how to keep that attention from your readers. and good job. you got it. <3
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Ooh, very nice! I love the depth and realness of it, it was just so intense. I just wanna read it again and again. War is a pitiful thing that man should never have been introduced to. Wonderful job, I'd say more but haven't slept and I don't wanna say anything that might come out wrong. So again, wonderful job.
Now, a wish that your talent never fades...
Best~Wishes~and~Poison~Kisses
-Allura- -
Now this one was right out of a classic!!!
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Could use some meter work,but applause is in
You ask what price do I deem too high
The day I decide not to try.
Percy Shelley, in the eighteenth centuty felt that "tyrants themselves neither then nor now,nor ever,left or leave a path to freedom but through their own blood."
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beautiful and sad
I think inocence should be protected. Your poem was beautiful and sad and true, well, it could be for some people. It shows to me how young children can face trama's. I know someone who experienced such trama in his life he became autistic. I thought your poem had a beautiful structure.
Keep penning,
Holly. -
great
wonderful piece and all so true and real to life of today...who is going the lives that are being bombed ...I lke the way you broke it into parts very cleaver...peace to the world ...my world dream and prayer -
BEAUTIFUL!
AWESOME READING HERE. WORDS FLOW WELL & AS I SAY, WAR IS NOT HEALTHY FOR CHILDREN OR OTHER LIVING THINGS! THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR TALENT
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Excellent work
A very thought provoking peice of work, well written,well constructed,and all too believeable.Will give all who read it pause for thought. -
Your work here raises a gut wrenching reality. Well written piece. I like who you've artfully structured this as well. Good one.
~Mary O
Edited on Aug 20, 5:43 because ''. -
SUPER FANTASTIC
You know that i always think a lot about wars. Talk about the madness. You have showed that very well in your words. Wars so far have never brought us much good. There is not much difference between the wars from now and thousand years ago. The weapons in our hands are changed the cruelty stays the same. In days of today there is no longer black and white. There is no longer a knight with a sword in hand that has to face his opponent or the innocent. Now its just pushing a button and a hunderd miles away are people dying because of the rocket that appears out of the sky. The wars in the middle east are not simple wars. Just stated on little fact but go back in time. Only by reading the history of a few thousand years would made you aware of what is really happening and why. To made an oppinion of who's wrong or who's right can not be done easely by pointing a finger. The story is to long to desrcibe here, but only by reading and studying the history can learn you more. To me violence can never be an answer to end the suffering but finding the dialog and learn from each others history to understand each other. We all believe in our own Gods. Gods that stood for peace and reading our books could learn us to find a way out. Not to listen to fanatics that just want to fight and abuse our believings for all the wrong reasons. When there will be elections again. I would like to call upon everybody to vote for freedom and for understanding so we can end the suffering for millions arround the globe
Angel you know better then everybody that i have loved the way you wrote your poem and i hope it reached millions of readers. And made us all think. We are all responseble for the cruelty on this earth
Love your Prince -
Oh! It’s a nice piece of work pall, it’s really too hard an experience for the innocence to view and realize the brutality of the human civilization. High-quality sense of ‘fear’ and ‘destruction’ are been imparted through out the lines where uncertainty broods and threats the simple, blameless lives.
Nice one…
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I liked several lines in this poem : "And dust now coats my vacant eyes" is one of them - it's as though you are saying that the child is blinded metaphorically as her only means of self-protection from the "atrocities" no young eyes should ever witness. Well done. camus
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Innocence cannot be protected. That fact never seems to be addressed till AFTER the atrocities have taken place. Whether killed, maimed or traumatized, the young, the old, the innocent pay a terrible price. I commend EVERY loyal soldier, I mourn EVERY hurt to ANY innocent.
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a child of only 5 gave me a pricking pain.a nice poem with the beautiful rhyme
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