With my every swift stroke,
The Reaper's rhyme I invoke.
It invades my selfish mind
And frees this soul, so confined.
Such scarlet drops I'm grieving;
They move me to believing
That I control something true.
I'm shaking from such passion
And my face is all ashen.
Now death dawns in the corner,
Like such an avid mourner.
He desires my distress
And with purpose I profess,
"You shall never have my soul."
Author notes
It's an obscure poem about cutting.
Image Credit: suicidesheep at deviantart.com
I'm proud of this poem, I think it flows well and conveys my feeling of lack of self-control.
In a list
A contest entry
- Make bakacoconut feel better by bakacoconut.
550 points, ended March 3, 2007, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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The message is deep
And profound, Our minds are a mystery and we will never really know why we do what we do. And what make us to lose self control. Thanks for entering and good luck
LISA
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This poem is far from cliché and holds a message that people find to be true. The rhyme scheme was great and it flowed really well. Great write and best of luck in the contest.
Cheers,
Coconut
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Ur message is so intense, ur on fire chic. My fav lines are "Such scarlet drops I'm grieving". "They move me to believing" "That I control something true". Save the best for last "You shall never have my soul."
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A truly wonderful rhyming alliterisen composed here.Brilliantly expressed with the alliteration flowing smoothly and great rhyming.Thanks for entering and best of luck
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You have done a superb job with this form, wonderful alliteration and a perfect lyrical flow, Excellent write!
Best wishes in this contest! Blessings
Sandi
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Great poem deep and meaningful! I found this verse particularly stricking...
With my every swift stroke,
The Reaper's rhyme I invoke.
It invades my selfish mind
And frees this soul, so confined.
Such scarlet drops I'm grieving;
They move me to believing
That I control something true.
Breath taking!
Thanx for entering and good luck!
Ginny
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Excellent
OOOOO! Gave me goose bumps! Great write. I appreciate poets who rhyme. It's the hardest form so it deserves more admiration.
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