deceptive reflection

I look in the mirror and what do I see
an image I'm not sure that is quite me
on the inside I know all that I've been through
yet on the outside I seem to conceal from you
I keep a smile to appear strong
if you think that's me, you are quite wrong
even in my eyes, it will tell you a lie
because showing my fears, seeing me cry
is something of a risk I'd rather not do
you broke my heart the last time I trusted you
a precious laugh and calm composure
I keep you deceived, inside I have no closure
the outside reflection smells like a rose
while the hidden shadows decompose
don't try to find me, I'm not there
my broken heart I will not bare
so you can shatter whats left, i will not allow
trusting no one, protecting myself, this I vow
if this means hiding myself from each and every one of you
you better believe this is something I'll do
I lose myself a little everyday
forgetting my lies I try to portray
to a point my reflection is no longer my own
and I'm sorry  for this is what I've known
It's what works for me and keeps me secure
so to make sure no more pain I'll have to endure
In the end I know sometimes it's not the best
not only does it keep out the bad, but all the rest
the chances of joy become slim, and finding someone true
because when you came along I ended up just hurting you too
this deceptive reflection has no name
not only fooling you but myself the same
Its purpose to prevent further hurt has done just reverse
Its blocked out chances of good which is even worse
I wish I could let down my gaurd and take off the mask
but facing the fear of the unknown is a lot to ask