Yesterday was the man that
dropped the rose on my feet
My heart learned the
sense---of a single love
My heart was ever annointed
with the drop of that rose
BUT
he returned
I thought it was forever
forever
like air will ever stay
An accident it was
for that rose wasn't for me
oh how could I be so silly
For he picked it up
and put it in his BASKET
with the OTHERS.....
Author notes
This is a poem that I wrote describing a meatphoric scene that took place within my heart after my boyfriend broke up with me. I like this style more of classic yet old folk type write. Very lament old time style. I love hte lines i picked i thought they were deep.
Yesterday was the man the dropped the rose on my feet
I never heard of this line before I like this poem
My heart learned the
sense---- of a single love.
I love the reption
My heart was ever annointed
with the drop of that rose....
I bring up my heart again in to this. The way it is written was the beat i was in. Its angry yet satisfied used to love that why the poem is like that. This is how I felt when i was this man who i thought was speacial it turned how he wasn't. I was like eveyrone else.
Written August 19th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Closes in 10 Minutes! by in-the-twilight.
600 points, ended February 7, 2007, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - strong feelings by Violent Glass.
425 points, ended March 3, 2008, 67 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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the title is poetry enough...
the image is just unforgetable in the mind
and I love this part
Yesterday was the man that
dropped the rose on my feet
My heart learned the
sense---of a single love
My heart was ever annointed
with the drop of that rose
Anna Lee
a different take on this metaphor
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very good write
i agree with your authors notes about the poem i think it was good i felt the emotion that you have put into it i also like that it wasn't all drawn out it was short simple and sweet and if you had the ability to keep me intureted in the poem then i have to give it a 10 thumbs up
good write and i hope to see more of you work. i did feel tho that the name of the poem made me think this poem was going to be to another love poem and i am glad to see that is wasnt what i thought it was going to be
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"My heart was ever annointed
with the drop of that rose"
Ohh.
Very hard hitting.
Thank you for the entry!
x -
Wow kind of a stab in the back I would say! I completely loved this write! Thanks for entering! Rock on! xoxo meg
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thanks for the silver too
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oh my
this is a great poem. i thought of a song that i heard a few months ago when i read this poem. I am going to post the lyrics to this song because it reminded me of just this song: here it is ::::::::::
"Where The Wild Roses Grow"
Nick Clave (feat. Kylie Minogue)
They call me The Wild Rose
But my name was Elisa Day
Why they call me it I do not know
For my name was Elisa Day
From the first day I saw her I knew she was the one
She stared in my eyes and smiled
For her lips were the colour of the roses
That grew down the river, all bloody and wild
When he knocked on my door and entered the room
My trembling subsided in his sure embrace
He would be my first man, and with a careful hand
He wiped at the tears that ran down my face
[Chorus]
On the second day I brought her a flower
She was more beautiful than any woman I'd seen
I said, "Do you know where the wild roses grow
So sweet and scarlet and free?"
On the second day he came with a single red rose
Said: "Will you give me your loss and your sorrow"
I nodded my head, as I lay on the bed
He said, "If I show you the roses, will you follow?"
[Chorus]
On the third day he took me to the river
He showed me the roses and we kissed
And the last thing I heard was a muttered word
As he knelt (stood smiling) above me with a rock in his fist
On the last day I took her where the wild roses grow
And she lay on the bank, the wind light as a thief
And I kissed her goodbye, said, "All beauty must die"
And lent down and planted a rose between her teeth
[Chorus]
Excellent poem. Thanks for sharing and entering my contest. Good luck to you.. Kassie. -
hey I loved it too. cool.
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This is a good write that you had penned here
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Layout / Look: 19/20
The whole vampiric looking face with the red eyes and even crying blood does sort of fit with the poem, but I think one of the backgrounds that has a rose would be more symbolic since your ending said, "with the others."
Flow: 22/20
There were some rough patches, but not too many.
Spelling / Grammar: 15/20
I see quite a bit of grammar mistakes. There are at least two withtin your first stanza.
Word Usage: 23/25
Not too bad. There are more words that are more symbolic for sadness that what you used.
Other: 21/25
I would like to recommend not using the ........ and -------- so much. Yes, they make the reader want to read on, but only because it seems like you're dropping off and just want to make more lines.
Your total score is 100/125. Congrats and good luck.
Dio Benedice,
♥ Beth -
good
aww, this poem is so sad, great terms of metaphores, it's all so true and always happens but what else can you expect from a guy..ntohing but let down.
good poem and good luck in your contest!
I hope you win! for this poem is very
full of free thinking mind wondering thoughts about men.
haha kinda funny but thats what I got out of your poem! good write and keep it all up! I tihnk you'll win!!!
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This was so beautiful and sad. I could feel the pain in the lines you wrote. You had the hope and then the dissapointment.
It hurts so much when they leave but it opens doors for others to really drop a rose at your feet. Be well..
Soulful Woman
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