The scent of blood fills my soul
with this craving, ahunting I go
looking for something willing and soft
A malleable female who will like it rough
my sights are set on the raven-haired beauty
virginal vision, oh what a cutie!
taunting my body with her innocence fair
what a feast I'll once back in my lair
silent and deadly from behind
she'll never tell what happened this night
roughly pounded in sexual haze
her crying pleas feed my raping ways
raven hair spread in haloed form
broken vision by captured arms
raped and beaten until crimson flows
tied tightly for me like a terrified whore
luscious body covered in blood
feeding my blood thirsty need like a glove
her tears cascade smearing the blood
while my desires explode and gush forth
licking her blood, I creep in between
pressing my knife handle into her seams
then replacing the knife with something hard
filling her so her screams can be heard
she knows inside that her prayers failed
her screams go unheard as her flesh pales
but my fun has only begun
My knife touches her flesh and slowly turns
bucking and fighting to save her own life
I smile, penetrate and caress with my knife
resting a moment in her terror and pain
my glistening knives make her insane
slowly I torture this beautiful child
cutting her flesh as her terror goes wild
razor sharp edges slices her flesh
her screams of pain rise as she sees death
each slice I take prolongs her pain
I sit and I watch as slowly she fades
until she whimpers and whispers once more
"Please don't do this, I can't take anymore"
Her bloodied body before me bound
I've given her love as I know how
now she wants to leave me alone?
Begging to die? The ungrateful whore!
Now the bitch is better off dead
no hero's saving, off with her head!
with a final slice of my knife
I bid her good night
Author notes
Sorry for the rhyming but this is what came out at the time. I have chosen insanity for this one.
Written August 19th, 2006
A contest entry
- dark poems by loserchild16.
315 points, ended March 28, 2007, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Epitome of Hatred/ The Seed of Insanity by A Soul Torn Asunder.
800 points, ended March 30, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - enter the dark woods by completely mad.
600 points, ended April 28, 2008, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me nasty (may have vulgar images/words) by takemypainaway.
450 points, ended June 4, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'll Show You A Sweet Dream by KateMadness.
475 points, ended June 12, 2008, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Oh
Hmm, I loved the entire poem. I don't get poems like this often, so I am so happy to have read something so...strange.
And yet it happens so.
Great job and thank you dearly for the 'Sweet Dream'.
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mmm this is so hot...I love a good rape poem, and this one is very good thank you for entering
completely mad -
WOW!!
i know you took this out of my contest for whatever reason,
but this is REALLY, REALLY GOOD!!!!
Everything about it, this is a hot fuckin write ^_^
amazing job,
*applauses*
you are uber talented
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Don't apologize, I like it. Okay, since I see no need for sugar coating things, I'm going to talk straight with you (something I very seldom do so look out, lol).
I was going to keep you out of the finalist list. Until I read your comment a little ways down. What you said struck me, and I really liked it. It really is scary how easy it is to access "scary psycho killer mode," almost too easy sometimes. And I loved how you added that the murdered could easily be any one of us. Perfectly said by the way.
Now, as for the poem there were some stumbling points with the rhyming, but other than that you've painted an excellently dark and twisted story here in the blood of the one in your brain. Poor thing, she never did stand a chance. Come to think of it... I'm not really sure why I wasn't going to add you. Maybe I was just too afraid of you, lol.
Best of luck,
Amanda
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This is disgusting. I don't like this. This is not a good poem. This is beyond innappropriate for my contest. How can someone even think of this. I'm sorry but this is just plain wrong. HELLO, I"M ONLY 16. Gosh this is just plain stupid. How can you even think of doing something like this. You need to get your priorities straight, and go see a psychiatrist or something cause this poem is just UHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Sounds like the work of a true Anne Rice Fan. I am thinking of "Interview with a Vampire" and "The Vampire Lestat" (1st 2 books in her Vampire Chronicles) in which there are a couple of whores in "the new country" when the USA was a settlement... and the whores, Lestat lerns just stole from and murdered their victim, so Lestat tortures them... feeding his vampiric lust for blood while doing his part to purge some of the evil from the streets. Check it out... I hope you love her work as much as I do... YUMM!!
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I would change one of the 'haze's to 'ways'. Last line feels like it needs a different rhythm 'I bid her goodbye and good night' maybe. I like this poem quite a lot. It definitely catches the readers attention and draws them into the story. While the rhyme is not consistant, the rhythm seems pretty good and helps to provide an overall good effect.
Andy
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This is sad and tragic. At first, it reminded me of Kira and Shar, which is probably why it was sad for me to read. Heh. It's still hauntingly beautiful though.
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very great write,although the word sexual has been repeated a lot of time,but don't worry thats not an offense,but please read rule# 9,a lot of people really forget about it...thanks for entering the contest...
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Anyone can think about things like this, fortunately there are few who actually act on these type of thoughts. I love to write dark, it allows me to express my anger sometimes; but I would never harm anyone. I think most people are similar.
This was very well written and had good flow. You bring out the character of the killer well. -
LOL.. hon relax about me I am fine...lolol... I am one who believes that to understand someone, you almost have to walk in their mind. So that is what I did with this poem. I tried to place myself in the mind of a serial murderer and quite frankly, it kinda freaks me at how easily we all can do this. Yes we control it but the monster in this poem could easily be anyone of us.
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Dark & Chilling
I'm kinda worried about you
I find serial killers fascinating myself. I think you have gotten into Ted Bundy's head totally
Very scary stuff here and all to realistic. Your rythm and flow are good, shock value puts it over the top. Best wishes in the comp, you are a very serious contender. shudder
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Very well done
Weird, really like weird. Yet, it was well written. -
Holy Damn, Sylvyrwyng. This is just freaking awesome! I loved this dark side of you. Damn near made my blood boil. I have to bookmark this. Ohhh you know I love the dark side.
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