I am finally able to rest,
Propped out straight on my frozen marble bed,
Reliving memories, a warmth inside my cold chest,
Broken thoughts whirling about inside my head.
Let me be, my Love,
Leave my bedside and let me sleep,
My dark heart no longer beats for you,
Nor for anyone...
Strangely, this chill does not bother me,
The frost caresses my lips,
And my cold-stiffened limbs grow languid,
And I am finally able to relax.
All the scars accumulated in my waking life
Seem to fade in a single instant,
Flaking off my visage
As does dried blood.
So leave me, my Love,
Let me sleep and let me dream
And let me grieve and let me rejoice
That I am here on a marble bed and you are not.
Author notes
Heya, just wanted to let you know that this isn't a fresh write...
Written August 19th, 2006
A contest entry
- Dark, scary, and everything inbetween by horrorfanatic.
400 points, ended November 13, 2006, 43 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Slough of Despond... dark poetry contest by gasolinequeen.
550 points, ended February 10, 2007, 41 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - DARK by skilter.
350 points, ended August 15, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Deepest Darkest Secret by Ntagatf.
500 points, ended September 6, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Great work, I ejoyed reading this, its sad, yet finds some kind of peace... Its a wonderful write, thank you for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! Keep up the great work
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thisis a wonderfully donr darkwrite. you really painted a vivid image with your wods here. i love whole idea of the marble bed. great write and never stop writing.
Rob
P.S. i am the recruiter for Gluttons For Punishnent and ill be forwarding some of your work to the head administrator -
very nicely written, a fairly sad story, well done
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This is so raw and original. I loved the dark independence with this piece. It's very thought-provoking and no weakness. It's very stimulating and encouraging. Congrats on your trophies.
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Hey, thanks a lot!
I think this is only piece that I really got my point across without being stereotypical and cliche.
Thanks for noticing that it wasn't all 'oh, I'm dead, woe is me.' I really appreciate that.
Again, thanks for reading and the congrats!
nikki
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Most beautifully crafted. The imagery was pure gothic. I simply adored the sorrow in this piece. It etched me with emotion most captivating to the dark heart. Congrats on your trophies.
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I absolutely adored it. I love the imagery and the power in the voice. Thank you so very much for sharing, and best of talent in the contest!
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this is really good. very well written
good luck in my contest
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Well met-
To tell you the truth, I hadn't noticed the rhyme. Although now that I look at it, it does follow a pattern... I generally do not rhyme or use a set rhythm, so it was quite unintentional.
As for the background, I use this one a lot, there is something uniquely morbid about the dark purple rose just under the bright one, and it utterly facinates me. I have also come to connect it to dark poems, it's been used for quite a lot of my Bella Saga, so it's become comfortable to me. That and I like roses.
I agree with you on the irritation of seeing entries to a contest that look like the author had never seen a dictionary or even knows rudimentary English grammar. I like the idea of your contest, and I wish you best of luck in the judging!
May your fangs stay ever sharp-
Bella De'Winter
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Sad in a way but at the same time... comforting. I enjoyed you carrying the same metaphor through the entire poem, it brought it all together incredibly well so it didn't seem stuttered or awkward. Thankyou for following my rule about punctuation and spelling, there's nothing that pisses me off more than someone who can't take enough care with their poetry to edit it. That said the only critical thing I have to comment on is the rhyme confused me. In the first stanza it is A,B,A,B but after that it is like you just give up on it. Would you mind explaining it to me? Was the rhyme accidental? Last thing, how does the background fit in with the theme of the poem?
Thankyou for entering and best of luck,
Take care. -
well met-
yeah, lemme just say that mrs boujoukos wasnt to pleased with me during the poetry unit... i wrote 'black bella' for school and she considered calling my mum and dad over it...well, i didnt really get along well with her anyway, she dislikes non-conformists and goths, and i fit into both catagories...
may your fangs stay ever sharp-
Bella De'Winter
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Well done, dear daughter! Quite breathtaking! I like this poem very much and thought while I read it that your English teacher would be pop her eyes over this one!
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good work
i like this poem bella i love all of your poems keep it up -
OMG WOW WOW what a brillently written and unique piece a talented one at that I enjoyed reading over and over
thank you very much for your entering as it is appeciated
take care and good luck in my contestx
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