Lord hold her in your loving arms
Let her soul be free
Pull her close with your gentle hands
Please, keep her safe for me
Teach her how to not be sad
For all the ones left here
Show her that we love her
And we'll always hold her dear
Wipe away the tears that fall
Down from her eyes
Please, give her peace, my Lord
And quiet all her cries
Let her know how much I'll miss her
But, I'm happy she's at peace
For I know she's passing through your gates
Where she will walk with ease
Author notes
This was written for my sister who passed away last week, after a long fight with cancer. I plan on reading this at her memorial next week, so any feedback would be appreciated.
Written August 19th, 2006
A contest entry
- Anything Fresh by HerbalGoat.
300 points, ended August 26, 2006, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - OPTIONS!!! by Dragonollia.
475 points, ended January 19, 2007, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites that dont suck. by parachute fog.
400 points, ended October 20, 2007, 93 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1706 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best by condor.
2600 points, ended August 20, 192 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
-
I'm so sorry for oyur loss and I am sure your sister would have just loved this tribute to her. It was wonderfully written and full of the emotion we could feel. I bet she had a big smile on her face as this was read at her service. Thank you for entering and the best of luck in the contest.
-
-
Thank you and I'm sorry that it took so long to reply to your comment, it has been a rough year. I so hope you were right and she heard this and liked it!
~DAWN~
-
-
Great!
first of all, am sorry for your loss, and surely she's in Heaven right now
and she will feel what a lovely write you have written for her.
second, I loved what you wrote, and you did deserve that gold trophy
third, I liked the title "let her soul be free", it's very expressive
I would love to read more of you, dawn.(nice name, too)
sherry
-
-
I'm so sorry that it has taken this long to reply to your comment, It's been a tough year or so! Thank you so much for your beautiful comment! As for the title, when I first wrote it I thought about changing it but could think of none that fit better! Thank you again!
~DAWN~ -
Thank you so much for your wonderful comment!
~DAWN~
-
-
wonderful writing. It is beautiful, sad, and full of emotions. I am so sorry for your loss, I am sure she will hear it when you read it that day. God bless you.
-
-
Thank you!
~DAWN~
-
-
wow
this poem is so beautifully written!!! well done. i love the way it flows so naturally, something that is this simple, yet so complex (i know, that doesnt make sense) and something so elegant can only have come straight from an amazing heart!!
i am greatly sorry for your loss, however, as your poem says, she is now in the arms of God!
God bless you, thankyou for sharing this beautiful poem, it truly brings a tear to my eye. well done
-
This is a great poem. I like the flow of this and can feel the pain and hope. I wish you the best.
-
-
Thank you so much for your comment!!!!
-
-
Commented by Judge
very sad and touching poem, so sorry to hear about your sister. I would help you with your poem to make it better but with my opinion I think you have made an excellent poem. good luck in the contest -
-
Thank you so much!!!!
-
-
Thanks, Rey!!!! You are sooo sweet!!!!
~dawm~ -
Thank you sooo much!!!! It's soo good to see your name pop up after so long!!!!
~Dawn~ -
Thank you so much!!!! I soooo apappreciate you commenting on my work!!!! She's in a better place now!
-
awwwwww im so sorry to hear this! that poem is lovely! a perfect tribute to a sister you clearly love and care about and will miss so much! perrect piece to read at a memorial!!!
Kendyl
xxx -
My heart goes out to you! You have a splendid way with words! They flow easily out of your mind! Your sister will be listening and she will be pleased!
Rey -
I am sorry for your loss.
Your poem is a lovely tribute to your sister. It flows peacefully as it rhymes comforting words. Well done dear poet.
-
Wow. That was almost a week ago. I'm not completely sure.. I know there was something with the flow of the poem and it having drop off's of the whole flow.
-
Thank you very much for reading and commenting!! Although I would very much like to know what my score means.
~Dawn~ -
I am no longer giving a full critique because it takes too much time.
Your total score is 121/125.
If you would like to know more, or would like some suggestions, IM me and ask. -
Thank you!!!!
-
Thanks Jamilla!!!! I have soooo much to tell you, but, I don't have alot of time right now. I'll try to find some as soon as I can!!!!
¬Dawn¬ -
Thanks!!!! Been going through some tough times lately, but, I'm still making it.
-
Very good
Almost a very well written prayer
Let her know how much I'll miss her
But, I'm happy she's at peace
For I know she's passing through your gates
Where she will walk with ease
Nice to see you writing again, Rick -
Thank you so much for commenting! I'm glad you liked it!
¬Dawn¬ -
This is a very good write that you had penned here Dawn good luck in the contest
-
i am sorry to hear this love..you have my condolences ..lovely write though and know your sis would really have loved it...take care love...
jamila -
I love this one.
Adding your comment:
1 - 29 of 29
