You look at the man,
The man you just fought.
Or had you.
He'd gone for you,
But you stopped him ahead.
You threw one punch and then he was down.
You look at another,
A boy of your age.
He'd been your friend for ages,
A fun loving kid.
Now he was dead,
You didn't make it in time.
What do you do?
You can run if you want.
Leave it all behind,
Forget your old life and friends.
You won't though, for you have a purpose to fulfill.
You must put the man away,
The man who killed your friend.
You will avenge his and many others deaths,
And take him away.
Author notes
This poem is about a character I created in a story for school last year. This is just what went through his head after knocking out the murderer, well it is now.
Written August 19th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
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Very well done and an intresting concept. As they say keep it up. Always Jc
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I am no longer giving a full critique because it takes too much time.
Your total score is 110/125.
If you would like to know more, or would like some suggestions, IM me and ask. -
Definately deep. Nice and strong but still makes you think.
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A very strong piece.
It almost reads like a scene from The Twilight Zone. I liked the way you handled this strong piece.
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