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Lemon Lover

In the mirror you are, yellow
Sour
Bitter
You leave a distasteful tang
With your looks
Like the flavour you leave
On my lips

The way you dress up your tart torso.
Like a masterpiece
You seem
Seductive, sensual, sweet
Painted in mascara and blusher, on

A curdled canvas.
Savage, sullen, sharp.
And with my knowable eye
As the admirer
I distil this mask,
Reduce it.  

To see the mirror image

Author notes

I choose option number one, Alphabetic Amusement.
I found this title really inspiring, it seemed to stir up lots of images in my mind. I liked the idea that a lover, who is supposed to be very sensual and sweet, in fact being sour, and I thought the real spin could be that it was someone looking at themselves.Good luck with the contest.

Written August 18th, 2006

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Annalise
    September 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    You have quite the interesting idea for this poem. Nice. I wish you luck in the contest.


  • waydownuponjoy
    September 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    An interesting approach to self examination and therefore a thought-full poem! joy


  • DreamSpace
    September 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for the kind comment!!!


  • Justified Inc.
    September 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Appealling

    Wow! Great write, very unique way of expressing your admiration of the inner being and said in such an expressive way! As if the bitterness and soured heart has curdeled the actual true image. Very profound and stimulating to the mind and senses. Thankyou for sharing
    Good Luck!


  • DreamSpace
    September 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks again for the comment!!!


  • SpanishKiss
    September 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    wow i really liek this piece, i love he way you've taken the title and just created a whole new poem and different side to things, the description was really good, and although it wasnt a veyr long piece i found it had just the right pace, and ended brilliantly, well done again xx stef


  • Ishtar
    August 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    The assonance and illiteration of this poem were amazing, Charlie. You really do have a knack for beautiful sounding poems.

    Well done, sweetie.

    -Reni

  • FindingFate
    August 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Different is what comes to mind. I guess it's not what I pictured when I thought up the title. The part of the person looking at themselves is not sitting right with me for some reason. I appreciate your effort and I am glad you liked the title...Trina

1 - 8 of 8